Baby disclipline - what do you think?

I'm not talking smacking or locking them in a room lol, but telling them their limits and expecting them to stick to them.

How much do you think babies understand?

We've been trying to teach Harry (8 1/2 months) 'no' about things he can't touch. Now he's crawling he's into everything. We have baby-proofed, but there's some things (like the bookshelves) that it just isn't practical to change, and we also think he needs to learn that some things he's not allowed to touch.

We used to say 'don't touch' in quite a stern voice and do the baby sign language with it, but he'd just laugh at us, and keep doing it! I read something last night about not making such a big deal out of it, as they'll find it hilarious and keep doing it to get the reaction. So today I tried just going 'no Harry' kinda quietly and calmly and moving him away from whatever it is, and trying to distract him. He just wants to explore everything and I know he's not being naughty, just curious. But it's exhausting.

Does it actually work? Can babies learn 'no'?

I'm also trying to teach Harry to be gentle, by modeling and getting his hand and showing how to stoke/pat gently. He just gets really excited and doesn't know his own strength! It's hard also cos he's bigger than other babies his age, and I have to watch him closely otherwise he'll grab them or pull them over. Or he'll bite ... he bit one little girl at creche on the knee, cos he's teething I guess and it was just at the right level (she was sitting down).

Gosh it sounds like he's a right bully but he's really just an excitable and curious lil guy! He's such a delight and I love how he wants to explore everything, I'm just finding it so tiring constantly having to move him away from what he's not allowed! If it's things like pulling the bibs out of the bottom of the highchair I'm totally fine with that, but dangerous stuff or things that can be damaged (books, dvds) are off limits.

Have I got unrealistic expectations that he will learn no? Do I have to pack up my house and only leave out the things he's allowed?!?!

What do you think, can babies be taught about things they're not allowed to touch and appropriate ways of behaving? And how?

Hrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... a few things.

Distraction is the best technique that I have found for babes

He's learning... so yep, you are right about him being excitable and curious. I don't doubt for a second that he has a lovely nature.

He'll only be that young for a few months. Which sounds sad, but they change so damn quickly and in a month he'll be so much older ya know? And before you know it he'll understand completely what he can and can't touch. Then you have to deal with them being sneaky. gah.

It's a hard stage to deal with and I think you just have to do what you can to survive... keeping on removing him and engaging him somewhere else is the only thing that you can really do (what you are already doing) and you just have to wait for him to catch on!

Edited cos the list looked silly.

Edited by nicelis

We did pretty much the same as you Liz, baby-proofed everything, spoke to her about being gentle (generally with the cat, who would get in trouble with DH if he retaliated when she got too rough) and said "No Michaela" when she was trying to get into something she wasn't allowed.  Our lounge area was a little cell and I can't count the number of time DH and I injured ourselves on the baby gates. 

She was a bit of a rat bag around our TV tho, from the moment she started cruising the furniture she'd head for the TV and having read several articles about children dying after pulling TV's down on themselves it freaked me out, the cabinet was bolted to the wall but the TV was still moveable.  We'd say "No Michaela" and her response was to grin at us and then carry on doing what she wasn't meant to so I started implementing baby timeout.  When she ignored us I'd pick her up carry her away from the TV and hold her on my knee for 30 secs.  It took her one day to learn to listen when we said "No".

I'm also hugely for distraction, it's a great tool for all ages.  If you see him heading for something he's not allowed start blowing bubbles (I keep a supply on hand at home at all times) or grab out a new toy that he hasn't played with for awhile.

 

I read some helpful tips in the Babywise book for this age group. Maybe that could help too. I also think consistency is the best thing. Keep going, it will get better as they understand more.

Yeah, the word 'discipline' was more to get people's attention

I'm meaning more teaching them that there's some stuff they can't touch, and things like being gentle.

Well this arvo we've continued doing the gentle no and distraction thing and it's working well.

Oh my gosh I just realised I have a typo in the subject lol!

arohanui wrote: MrsMojo love the bubbles idea! Out of curiosity, at what age did you start the baby time-out thing? And was Michaela upset when you implemented it?

 

Gosh I don't really remember, it was before she started walking but after she learnt to cruise the furniture so somewhere between 7-11 months (sorry I can't be more exact).  Yes she did get upset about it, but it was only ever for a very short time (never longer than 30 secs) and the main thing was getting the message to her to not touch dangerous things.

I did the No and Dont thing from really young with McKayla or said rather do this ect. It worked really great. She pushed boundaries but at the same time learned really quickly I wasnt giving in.

there is certain stuff I am rather strict on. Example electricity. This one started understanding really quickly what was allowed and what wasnt (without having to resort to smacking hands ect).

She seems to understand a lot more than other kids her age however. (We started at about 4 months already. She was rolling around the house at about 3 months to get where she wanted to go)

We chose what things we definately didnt want Tom touching and he got very stern "No!" or "Aaahhhhhh" noise....eg power points, TV.  For everything else I would just try and distract him whilst saying "No, not for Tom, you come and play with your toys" etc.  He quickly learnt that No meant shaking his head and would go to the TV and shake his head....bloody clown!.  We've solved the TV problem by getting a new LCD and no cabinet so it is on top of the buffet....well out of his reach (at the moment). 

he totally gets No now.  But I dont like saying it too often.  I tend to distract him with things like "What are you doing?" "I wouldnt do that" or "Please, dont do that" (which gets a "peeeeese" in response. 

 

The main one I have learnt that works STRAIGHT away is "HOT!"  He learnt that word very quickly and started to repeat it.  If I say Hot he pulls away immediatley (he has never burnt himself so god knows why this works"  I have to admit I have used it on things that arent hot.

 

We were very conscious that we didnt want to turn into those parents that just seem to constantly say "No" to their child. We use "Dont touch" and try to follow it with an explanation ie "Dont touch - hot" or "Dont touch - not for eating"....or something similar. Oli LOVES the fireplace (although it doesnt work - we still dont want him touching it) and I prob tell him 10-15 times a day "Dont touch"...I always pick him up and move him back to his toys and distract him...sooner or later he gets bored of this game and finds something to destroy. We have child-proofed without going overboard, and I have moved all our books off the bottom shelves and put his books there instead...this way he can pull them all off and he knows that they are HIS books and he is allowed to play with them. He loves to pull soil out of the plants and eat it, and although I have moved most of my plants, I still have a big one that I cant find a home for, he seems to have got the message that he shouldnt be touching it, and only occasionally does it now. We also use the distraction technique when he has a tantrum, we ignore the tanty completely and just do something else with him.