My Sister’s a Loopy Nut Job

OMG...Wait for her to grow up? Perhaps it's just a life stage. (I don't mean to imply that all under 20s are irresponsible) Perhaps she just needs to get it out of her system. Shame it has to happen in your parent's house. I did the filthy living, slack arse thing when I was in my own flat at Uni...sooooo glad that phase has ended...Good Luck!

I have absolutely no advice to offer but have a  and my sympathy.  I'll have a think on this and get back to you.

Ok, a few questions:

• How long has she been like this for? 
• Is she depressed?
• Has something happened in her personal/social life to trigger this behaviour?
• Is it possible that she is experimenting with narcotics or other substances?  (sorry, I couldn't think of a way to ask that question gently)
• Would your parents consider sending her to a finishing school of some kind? Or on an Outward Bound course or a Spirit of Adventure trip?

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Edited by Daizy

Is there someone else that can give them some water, at least? DH/DP?

As far as your sister goes, three years is a long time to do nothing much, especially as she seems to have got worse lately.

Even if she's not clinically depressed, it sounds like counselling might help her get her life back on track? Living how she does doesn't sound like much fun! Any chance you could convince her to talk to someone (from what you've written, it sounds like it would be hard work, but maybe it's worth a shot?)

I also think the Outward Bound courses etc are great. They're a lot of fun, and chances are that with some help she could easily find sponsorship.

That last comment wasn't meant to sound like that... it was meant to read: you have two kiddos to take care of and don't need the extra stress that your sister is placing on your life.

You could almost be talking about my younger sister except mine eventually did have a physotic (sp) break.  She was diagnosed with manic-depression (now bipolar) along with various other social and anxiaty issues.  Being awake 1/2 the night, not being able to keep to commitments, make normal type decisions and do seemingly normal things like feeding animals, pulling curtains etc tend to make me think there is something that needs to be sorted.  I also suffer depression along with some anxiaty issues and also was very shy as a young person and also recognise some of the things she is doing.  I'm not sure where you should start to try and get help and it will quite often happen that she wont be able to be helped  until she is wanting to be helped or she has a breakdown or complete burnout which will happen if she is not looking after herself getting sleep and nutrition etc & I think it is only when she becomes a danger to herself or someone else that she can be 'forced' to have some sort of treatment. 

She will lash out at and blame your mother 1st as she is closest to her and although it doesn't seem so, she does trust her.  Mothers are suposed to be able to fix things and I would say she is wanting help but doesn't know why or how to get it.  I'm not saying your mum isn't doing all she can to help  just giving you and idea of what your sister may have going thru her mine.  We are programed to think that mothers can do anything.

I'm also wondering if 'something' happened when she was younger when she used to go out and get really drunk?  Possibly something that she has never mentioned to anyone because she doesn't know how to or is too ashamed or maybe feels she will let your parents down.  I went thru child abuse from a family member (I'm not suggesting she did) but I still remember the feelings that went along with the whole thing coming out and for many years after, I am able to talk about it more now but that has taken 30 odd years to happen and eventhough we know its not our fault, we still blame ourselves.

Maybe there is some sort of depression/anxaity support group hotline that you could ring to see what you and your family can do to maybe help getting things started.  I saw you have had people round to talk to her but she probably felt too confronted by that.

 I'm sorry this is not giving you much help of where to go from here but I hope my ramblings have helped in some way.   If you want to talk more because I know its hard on family members also you can pm or email me if it would help.

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Edited by Daizy

I would be calling the crisis team on her butt or something because it really isn't how normal people function. I can imagine if she was12 or 13 that she might act similar but 19?? Come off it! It does sound like she is suffering from something, extreme shyness? a social disorder sounds more likely. And she had been like this for years and your parents are all "Lets just let her have a run of the house" PFFT! If someone was stamping up and down my hall eating I would call the crisis team and get them carted off, I am really surprised that from what you have described that it has got this far. Sounds completely nuts!