Must be the day for winges!!!

Ok, my winge today!!!! My workmates, who are all female and half of the mothers were having a go at me for suggesting that bubs will sleep in the room with us for the first few weeks...

Apparently that is SO inconsiderate for my DF as he will be woken during the night and still has to work during the day.....I am supposed to get up for every feed and make sure he is NEVER distrubed!!!! It will be "my job" as he is going to be the breadwinner so I cant complain about having a lack of sleep!!!!!!

My DF wants to get up for the feeds and I dont see it as one persons job or not. WE chose to have a baby and part of that means not much sleep.....and its not like I will be twiddling my thumbs all day...I'm sure you mothers will agree that I will be working and need sleep just as much.

Then later on my father really pissed me off by saying that I shouldnt be on the phone talking to Mum as my DF had been working all day and I should be looking after him!!! What the hell had I been doing?????? I am still working full time! Oh but his jobs is the "real" job. Mine pays 3x his!!!!!

If I choose to go back to work part time when bubs is born I bet I will be expected to function on little sleep as I darent let DF wake up. My work will just be a "little bit of fun" to give me adult company.

ARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!! perhaps I'm a little hormonal at the mo

what friggin century are these people living in?????

we had both our kids sleeping in the room with us until they slept through the night. DH never woke up when they cried and if he did, he would always go straight back to sleep.

you and DF do whatever works for you and forget about what others say...unfortunately easier said than done i know and you will always get people giving you their opinion

Oh I should add that Dad retreated VERY quickly back into his shell thanks to mum.

DF is really wanting to be as involved as he can with bubs so he wants to get up....it will be helped by the fact that there will be world cup rugby on and Peanut waking might be more reliable than an alarm clock. He is finding this mildly amusing as I have got so angry over it....cheeky sod then added "could I just make sure I give him a ......... to help him sleep at night". CHEEKY CHEEKY CHEEKY and bloody brave to risk that with an irrational hormonal fiancee. But he always knows how to make me laugh and calm down.

Of course our baby is going to be sleeping right through from day 1 and actually getting up to feed itself...and puttting the jug on for mum and dad in the morning....ok so i am not hormonal....just deluded. Gotta think postive though

Oh, man, we had Emma Rose in the room with us until she was almost 7 months old. And by the time she went into her own bed at night, we were ALL ready for it! I did get some comments too, but I just said it was easier for me to feed her in the night when she was right next to me. Of course, there were heaps of people making the "You're making a rod for your own back" comments... grrr...

Bottom line: Do what feels right for you and your baby, and be open to flexibility. If having the baby in the room with you for the first few weeks -- or months -- works, then do that. The baby isn't even here yet, so you can always tell people what you're planning (if they ask and you want to tell them) and when they start to give you advice, tell them you'll cross that bridge when you come to it!

Your workmate sounds like a real butthead. I think my response to that would have been, "I'm already suffering enough, having to listen to your stupid, thoughtless remarks! I'd love an epidural for my EARS so I can shut the pain of listening to YOU out!"

I posted in another thread about something I started when I was pregnant -- a colleague gave me a small journal in which she'd written her advice to me (cabbage leaves in the bra, etc) and I deemed it the Book of Advice and started handing it to people whenever they'd start blah-blahing at me about what they thought I should do, how things were in their day, etc. It was brilliant. They'd open their mouths and I'd say, "Wait! Let me get the Book of Advice so you can write this down for me!" I always made a big deal out of it, pasting a cheesy grin on my face as I handed them the book and a pen. They never quite knew whether I was cutting them off or telling they were so important that I really did want them to write down their advice so I could refer to it later. Then if they repeated themselves at a later date, I'd hold up a finger and say, "You don't have to remind me, it's in the Book of Advice!"

So get yourself a Book of Advice and keep it where all can see, and don't hesitate to hand it to the know-it-alls! What's even better is that some of their advice actually did come in handy down the track, so it wasn't a wasted exercise at all. And I look forward to giving it to Emma Rose if she ever gets pregnant!

Hang in there, doll. You're the mama! Which means what you say, goes!

Maya wrote: I'd just tell them that unless they're planning on sleeping with you, DH and bubs they should mind their own business.

Ditto...........

Kaia is still in our room now at almost six months, she'll be there til we find a bigger house!

I used to feel sorry for Andy, he gets up for work at half five and Kaia is a terrible sleeper. But then I figured that you don't have to leave the houes to do a full days work, I get up at half five too so why should I be the only one to pull the night shift?

Its the same as man-flu!!!

Gosh i cannot belive how some people think they have the right to tell you how to live your life! it amazes me .

Katherine, i adore the 'book of advice' idea, i may borrow that for later on!

nzpiper, i would just ignore their comments and do what you and your lovely DH want to do. You can choose what 'advice' you want to take on board and what to discard.

Personally i think it would be wonderful to have your baby close to you in the early months. They have been inside you for 9 months, so having them sleep next to you means they can hear your sounds and feel comforted by that. I am def going to have bubs in our room - DH and go to the spare bed if its too much of an issue for him.

all the best - and stick to your guns!! do whats best for your family