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T_Rex 
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Joined: 07 March 2007
Location: PN
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 Topic: Long distance relationships
Posted: 01 September 2008 at 7:03am |
DH and I are doing long distance for 4 more months. We've been apart for 1 month already, and I have to admit that I'm finding it hard. I'm quite a homebody at the best of times, so being away for 5 months was always going to be tricky for me.
I'd really appreciate some advice on what I can do to make things a bit easier on us. For those of you who have done long distance before, what can you do to make it easier? We are too far apart for a visit and there is a sizeable time difference that makes it tricky to have a decent conversation during the week, because one of us is always at work or asleep. We do usually manage a decent conversation each weekend which helps!
Anyway, any tips or experiences would be most appreciated 
Edited by T_Rex
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Mikaela
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Posted: 01 September 2008 at 9:00am |
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As a navy wife I'm pretty used to the whole long distance thing now.
Things that we've found to help us (and keep in mind that every couple is different) are:
- Making sure we have *some* kind of contact every single day - whether it be phone call, email or text message, the rule is that we don't go a single day without something.
- Email is great - if time distances are a pain for having a good conversation then write everything you're thinking down in an email. Sometimes DH and I have actually become closer because it's easier to be really honest and open through email rather than voice. You can sit down and plan out what you're going to say and it doesn't come out all wrong like my voice conversations sometimes do! Plus you can attach photos to email which is always nice.
- Try to have scheduled times for a phone call (or video call via Skype or similar) where you can really prepare for it. Sit somewhere comfy, have a cuppa and really chat without having to rush off somewhere or do something or be distracted.
- A ticker counting down to the end of the separation always helps me, because you can tangibly see the time dripping away.
Hope some of this helps!
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.Mel
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Posted: 01 September 2008 at 9:29am |
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DH and I had been together 6 months when he went to the UK. I found it incredibly hard, mainly because our relationship was so new. 9 years on we are still together!
We made sure that we spoke to each other every week (taking turns to call each other). MSN was a god send for us, we would spend hours talking on that. He eventually got a mobile so we sent text messages too.
Is there anyway you can both get Skype? That way you can see and talk to each other.
Edited by .Mel
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mummy_becks
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Posted: 01 September 2008 at 10:26am |
Well I did it for 6 months at the beginning of the year, and I am still doing it now it seems like. For the first 6 weeks the only contact we had was by letter - sucks aye, but it was really nice to get the mail.
As we are with Telecom for our home, mobile and internet we got the $10 plan which allows Nigel to call our landline from his cell phone any time of the day (and me to call from the landline to his cellphone) - which has been really good for when I lived in Palmy and he was up here in Waiouru.
I found the ladies on here really good, they kept me company most nights and were there when I needed them (like I do now since I just found out something - new thread).
I had a ticker counting down till we got to see Nigel again, and once we are back from our holiday in Oz I will be putting a new ticker on counting down till he graduates.
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lilfatty
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Posted: 01 September 2008 at 10:37am |
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DH and I were apart for the first two years of our relationship seeing each other only once every 3 months or so (he was in the UK).
We made a time each day that was "just us" .. (we used MSN to chat)...even if it wasnt very long it let the other know that we were thinking of them as we never missed our time.
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T_Rex
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Posted: 01 September 2008 at 12:57pm |
Thanks ladies. Its nice to know I'm not the only one. Becks, sorry to hear they've delayed Nigel's return again! I'll be pretty mad if something delays my return at the end.
We've got skype, which is great, but the time difference means we can only talk on weekends cos its not easy to talk while one of us is at work. Planning the time is a good idea, I'm going to try that.
I'm also going to try and find a project I can work on, just so that I have something to do in the times that we'd usually do things together.
I'm doing ok mostly. I have a few  days is all.
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ooEvaoo
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Posted: 01 September 2008 at 1:29pm |
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Yeah DP and I did the long distance relationship thing for about 8 - 9 months. We use to text each other all the time, clocking up over 4000 texts a month!!....that was the good old days of unlimited texts lmfao. Also talking online helped. It's amazing how many people actually do long distance relationships. I think in the future I'll be in that catergory again, as DP may have to move up to Aucks for work training, while I still got 3 years of study to do here in Hams, no as far away as separate islands!....or time zones in your case.
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Long distance relationships
