Mummy friends for the kids sake?

Ok so my dilemma is this....

Ella has some great little friends at DC. BUT a couple of the mums (1- a sth african 2- another culture lets call her OCO) of the two fave kids seem very aloof and hard to crack. There are already a group of us formed simply out of DC (didnt know anyone beforehand) who go movies coffee and chipmiunks etc and we made sure it was always an open invite not just a clique thing - we have put flyers up and invites in their childs pocket hangers etc ....but still they havent involved themselves which has made it hard to try and get the kids together

How do I keep trying...any ideas? the SA is very aloof bordering on rude at times...altho the staff say keep trying with her (Ella and her child are BFF already at DC and only 2 days apart!). The SAs MIL asked me to make sure to invite her too saying she was "shy". DH wants me to give up cause he finds her really bordering on rude. The OCO Mum hardly ever comes to DC and Im not sure if she would take kindly to me invting the dad who is at DC most of the time?

Maybe coming into summer more I can get them over for a home playdate here...and I know with us all working our weekends are precious but these are likely to be kids she will be in a class and poss school with for the next 4 years plus....so I want to try. One mum at DC of another child actually approached me the other day and asked to join us anyytime we meet up - which was great as her child had just moved up to class Ella is in soon....cool another mum to meet up with....

BTW our group that does meet up is already a mix of Kiwi, SA, Indian and Asian....so Im sure that isnt the reason these mums of my girls best friends are avoiding it....

ideas please......





Edited by Bombshell

yeah I have made comments to the SA one that in time I guess Ill have to have another car seat in car cause herchild keeps wantting to come with me even now....and I mention play dates casually also....and i get NOTHING outta her....ugh!

I am going to keep trying but wonder how to....

It might be a case of her being limited for time and transport as well as perhaps shy.
I know I must appear a bit the same way to some of the parents at my Ella's kindy.
There are a few groups of parents there that have arranged things and I have been unable to go every time because of DH working unusual hours and lack of transport.
Several have offered us rides to or from kindy and I have politely refused out of shyness and for the same reason I have only just started making conversation with other parents there, even though Ella has been going since the beginning of the year!
I say gently persist with the other parents if you can. Inviting them for playdates with Ella might be a good idea, you may be able to pin them down more easily if you can get them suggesting dates that suit them etc.
Good luck!

Gidday

My coffeegroup is made up of SAHM and part timers who meet up every two weeks so probably what we do isn't much use to you but here goes ...

Everybody hosts a coffee morning/afternoon or all day event depending on what people can fit in. The person who hosts provides the coffee,lollies, biscuits or cake (depending on ability or budget).

The host emails a couple of days beforehand and says if it's a goer or not (taking into account household disasters, sick kids, holidays etc) and if they can't then it goes to the next available person. We have a loose rota.

If your SA lady has a travel / shyness / money issue, an arrangement like the above would ensure at least one meetup for her daughter and her friends in her own surroundings with minimal expense. And at least the host can put their kid to bed in their own bed when they get ratty!

Our group is small so maybe what we do won't work with a biggish group but it is cheaper, and more relaxing meeting in someones home. And it means that I tidy up my house once every 7 weeks too (not much of a bonus, but there you go).

Maybe changing the focus of the meets might help?

Edited by Rackhell