Well things are alot different now. I did the tough love thing and my MIL actually noticed and is now making such a huge effort to treat my boys equal to the other grandkids which has been such a refreshing change!! (after 8 years i might add!!!!!!) she even asked to have Bailey for the weekend even though hes in the worst ever terrible 3's at the moment!!! so yeah so far so good *touch wood!! touch wood!!! touch wood!!*.
I know that it is the tough love thing that has worked as she came straight to us upset and wanting to sort it out...the only thing now is that - if we dont go over there for a few days (for no reason, just busy) she freaks out!!!
I hope that things get better for you!! i can soooooo sympathise with you!!
Wow...
We are currently at ignoring stage.. if they ring we talk to them but we wont initiate anything.... so it goes on for weeks that we dont hear and then we get the "Oh we havent seen the kids for ages " accusing tone... "you will have to bring them around" authority tone. so the tough love thing isnt working at all... it has been like this for a LONG time. Of course its always MY fault and we keep the kids from seeing them etc etc... and as I said they wont visit us so we have to go to their place... Then we get the omparison to the "other" grandchild... the perfect one that they make the effort to see ALL the time!
One time when my eldest was 2 MIL wanted to take him away for a long weekend on a 5 hour drive!!! He barley even knew them!! Had NEVER stayed at their house the night (and still hasnt at 4.5) so I was the ogre for saying no...GRRRR
the tough love thing didnt work for us for a long time and my story was exactly the same as yours but it did give eventually although we still air on the side of caution with them.
Hang in there - it might be a long process but hopefully itl all get better and if it doesnt then your boys are alot better off without them
I hope it does...it has been such a long time...
If it wasnt so obvious that MIL plays favourites then it might not be so bad. Aparently that will never stop though as it has been all their lives they have been treated differently. (Family friend told me how bad it was when they were kids...my DH got ignored ALOT)
Anyway Im sure we will survive with out them! HAHA
oh god you could have just copied and pasted my story!! lol they are exactly the same!!!
DHs parents played favourates big time when they were little except DH was the favourate!! - all the family still talk about it and he is actually STILL the fav and very obviously so!! - there are several pics and artwork and poems and tropheys etc around their house from my DH but NONE!! of the other 2!! and they fuss over him something cronic!!
There use to be several photos of the other grandkids and none of Bailey but now they have tones of Bay and Astin (which MIL asked me for!!).
It was really obvious to Bay that they favoured the other Gkids and would blatantly do it in front of Bay and he would cry to me and ask me why nana and grandpa dont love him like the other kids!!!
I totally understand about feeling frustrated with it being so long!! - DH and I have been together for 8 years (married for 2) and it was pure hell at the begining!!
Well our oldest is 4.5 so that may give you some clue as to how long we have been dealing with this... tho the "other" grandchild is only 2 so at least we didnt have to deal with that before.
Its hard to cus I guess under it all we do feel a bit resentful to DH's brother and his family even though its not their fault... they have NO idea how nasty MIL is to us... I think they would be quite shocked if they knew!!
I KNOW I am.... I have learnt that all being nasty will do is drive them away!! Plus I LOVE babies so would want to be an involved grandparent... not a moaning selfish one! LOL
very true!!! all my inlaws served to do was drive DH out of home at 15 and cut them out until they accepted us moving in together!!! plus they put so many strict rules on us (DH was 14 and i was 16) that we just found another place to be together!!! (my house of course cos my mum wasnt a B.....! lol) isnt that the way it works!?? Better to accept and keep them under your eye than not accept and loose control!
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot create polls in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
Angry venting rambles thread...
Topic Options
Post Options
Thanks(0)
buzimumto3boys wrote:
) she even asked to have Bailey for the weekend even though hes in the worst ever terrible 3's at the moment!!! 
