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nikkitheknitter 
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 Topic: Hey ChundaMars!
Posted: 01 August 2008 at 11:41am |
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Opinion please!
(Hi btw, I'm Nikki. I don't have a baby. I have a kid. I'm not looking to have another any time soon.. this is purely for discussion)
My workplace is predominantly anti-kids. Well... they aren't anti them, it's just none of them have them and none of them want them.
One in particular is struggling at the moment as his wife has started getting clucky as hell. I'm trying to convince him (not terribly successfully) that kids rock but to be honest, I can't come up with a whole lot of reasons!
So there are guys out there that actually want kids?
Mind you... maybe it shouldn't be limited to men. I know if I had to come up with actual reasons why I want kids then I'd be hard pressed. I just sorta do. Biologically and stuff.
Yours sincerely,
Bored at work.
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My3Sons
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Posted: 01 August 2008 at 11:46am |
lol!! with a teething almost 6 month old awake all night and a tanty throwing 2 year old Im struggling to think or any reasons either!
Im not sure, but I know when we were having trouble TTC no 2, DH was quite happy to stop at one child, he just didnt have the same desire or need for any more that I did? Like for me it was something I wasnt going to give up on til it happened, it was like an obsession, and he REALLY didnt get that?
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ChundaMars
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Posted: 01 August 2008 at 11:47am |
Why hello, Bored at Work, I'm Can't be Bothered Because It's Friday
I don't know if you can really convince people to have children... I mean, could someone convince you NOT to have children?
But if you're going for the logical reasons, go for long-term. What'll it be like when you're 65, you've got all the toys you'd ever want or need, and all your friends are busy with their own grandchildren? How lonely will that be?
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nikkitheknitter
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Posted: 01 August 2008 at 11:49am |
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So what about the men that are unsure about kids (such as Char's situation) and then when they have them, they love them? But as a partner/wife you have to sorta push them along toward having a kid?
(Hypothetically speaking.)
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My3Sons
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Posted: 01 August 2008 at 11:52am |
Nikki, it wasnt that he was unsure, more that he was ok with just one, and didnt get the whole woman hormones biological thing you mentioned before (lol Im not even sure I get that whole thing?!? ) Would be interesting to hear from someone with no kids on this one. Im pretty sure he wouldnt give any of them back now
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My3Sons
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Posted: 01 August 2008 at 11:53am |
and I just have to ask who ChundaMars is lol!
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ChundaMars
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Posted: 01 August 2008 at 11:54am |
 nikkiwhyte wrote:
So what about the men that are unsure about kids (such as Char's situation) and then when they have them, they love them? But as a partner/wife you have to sorta push them along toward having a kid?
(Hypothetically speaking.) |
Yeah, see, that's sounds lovely and all, but what if the end result isn't like that? What if they have them, and then hate it and wish they hadn't? There goes that relationship, not to mention, there goes another messed up kid released into the world...
Same logic applies to people (read: women) who think that having a child will strengthen their relationship. Sorry, but if your relationship isn't strong in the first place, don't have a kid! Because as I see it, there's a 50/50 chance it could strengthen the relationship, or tear it apart.
And when you're talking about raising children, I don't like those odds...
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ChundaMars
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Posted: 01 August 2008 at 11:55am |
KiwiMummy wrote:
and I just have to ask who ChundaMars is lol! |
Hi!
Male, 25, first baby due November. That enough for now?
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MummyFreckle
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Posted: 01 August 2008 at 11:55am |
By the time we started trying for Oli, DH really wanted kids. He felt "ready" apparently....whatever that means! I think that because we had done a lot of things together - travelled etc that the timing was right, and he turned 40 this year too, so suspect that was starting to make him feel pressured.
The good things...I guess its hard to explain to people that dont have kids, or arent around kids much....but the laughter, the fun, the silliness, the excuse to go to things like the zoo / chipmunks / kids movies and behave like a loon.....
I guess its daunting....but its the best thing we ever did!
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MrsMojo
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Posted: 01 August 2008 at 11:55am |
Hey Nikki
My DH is clucky as heck but never got like that before we had Michaela, yeah he wanted a baby, it was his decision to start trying but he was never "clucky". I think he now knows how much fun it is and wants to add another to our brood to increase the fun factor.
Following on from ChundaMars suggestion to be logical here's some reasons to have kids:
- You can buy cool toys to play with (I'm buying me....oops, I mean Michaela.... a wooden train set).
- You don't look weird playing at the park when you have a kid with you.
- Saturday morning sports
- The BDing when you TTC
- Someone to take care of you in your old age
- A great excuse when you don't want to go somewhere "sorry, I can't find a sitter"
Edited by MrsMojo
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My3Sons
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Posted: 01 August 2008 at 11:56am |
lol, thanks! And congrats!!!
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ChundaMars
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Posted: 01 August 2008 at 11:59am |
SimSam wrote:
The good things...I guess its hard to explain to people that dont have kids, or arent around kids much....but the laughter, the fun, the silliness, the excuse to go to things like the zoo / chipmunks / kids movies and behave like a loon.....
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God, that sounds awesome! I can't wait... the way I see it, I'll be seeing the whole world through different eyes - those of a young child! Everything will be new! Everything will be exciting! Everything will be edible!
Well, maybe not that last one...
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nikkitheknitter
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Posted: 01 August 2008 at 11:59am |
Don't get me wrong, I know there are people out there that just don't want kids. And that's great! But there is also always the possibility that you are gonna hate it. And it is quite literally, what you make of the situation!
This wasn't meant to be personal at all, but I guess if I was stretched to find a reason behind my curiosity, I'd be worried about getting involved in a relationship with a guy who didn't want kids and having to sacrifice having another kiddo.
(Tobin doesn't want kids. But then Tobin ain't gonna be around forever either, the way we are going.)
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ChundaMars
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Posted: 01 August 2008 at 12:08pm |
nikkiwhyte wrote:
This wasn't meant to be personal at all, but I guess if I was stretched to find a reason behind my curiosity, I'd be worried about getting involved in a relationship with a guy who didn't want kids and having to sacrifice having another kiddo.
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And I think that's the right way to look at it Nikki... some things you can sacrifice for a relationship, other things you just shouldn't because they could potentially make you miserable for the rest of your like. Having (or not having) children is one of those things!
I personally think (which is funny, given I have been with the same woman for 10 years and married for 2 of those!) that people are far too negative about breaking up and far too quick to get married... some people just aren't meant to be together!
Actually, make that MOST people aren't meant to be together!
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nikkitheknitter
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Posted: 01 August 2008 at 12:23pm |
Aha! So another thing to add to my interview list should I go out searching for a man.
It's getting rather long...
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ChundaMars
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Posted: 01 August 2008 at 12:41pm |
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ChundaMars
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Posted: 01 August 2008 at 3:15pm |
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Man, for some reason I hate the word "clucky"! I don't know why... maybe its because as soon as someone without a baby gives someone else's baby some attention, everyone feels it's their right to assume they're "clucky".
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Hey ChundaMars!
