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jack_&_charli View Drop Down
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: christchurch
Points: 7155 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jack_&_charli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 January 2009 at 2:49pm
Originally posted by Danaj Danaj wrote:

Why should some people get pity and be allowed to behave badly

Sorry about the rant but professional victims really tick me off.


she isn't looking for pity or even getting it......no one in our family knows about it or would even suspect it. so she isn't a professional victim....just living in denial despite us telling her over and over again to get some help.

i would love to keep neice until she gets help, but there's no way i can do that and i getting to the point where i'm sick of trying to help someone that doesn't seem to want it

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caitlynsmygirl View Drop Down
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Points: 8777 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote caitlynsmygirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 January 2009 at 3:54pm
tough situation chick , and my heart goes out to you , but quite frankly , it sounds like you've done all you can with your SIL , shes an adult and you are not responsible for her decisions in life .
You just concentrate on giving your niece as stable an upbringing as possible , yes she probably will have abandoment issues, but deal with them when the time comes , because worrying about the future, is going to be even more overwhelming and stressful for you , take it a day at a time
And hopefully one day your SIL will get the help she needs , but in the meantime , just concentrate on your niece, and perhaps one day when your SIL is better, she will be able to appreciate what you did for her .

As for dealing with things, I believe some people are just stronger than others, my friend was raped by her stepdad for years and she finally told her mum when she was 14, what did her mum do ? commit suicide and said in her note that her reason was because she "couldnt choose between her sister and husband " nice huh ? talk about abandoment issues there! but my friend has had lots of counselling over the years and is a lot stronger than many people I know , I think having the offer of counselling always available for your niece will be beneficial in the long run


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