| Author |
 Topic Search  Topic Options
|
BaAsKa 
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Points: 3844
|
 Post Options
 Thanks(0)
 Quote  Reply
 Topic: Happy Hubbys....
Posted: 17 May 2007 at 10:11am |
Ok so iv been thinking about this and maybe some of the men on here and woman of course can relate???
I thought that DH should join some kind of group like Harriers or the gun club or fishing etc so he could get out of the house and have some time to himself without nagging wife and son and soon-to-be another son! he use to go visit his mates but they are all back in Tauranga and we have since moved, to do something he is interested in and destress as he has started worrying about everything!!! and stressing about money!! (when there is no need too!!) and i thought he might just need a break BUT when i put the idea to him he said "sounds good bub but im fine! if im stressed then i just go hang out with Jay (his best friend)" so i said "but hes moving back to Tauranga soon" and he said "yeah so?? i dont mind staying home with you guys!!! id prefer to" so i said "but when Astin comes your going to go nutts and need a break!" and he said "NO! im gana wana spend time with him and bond with him like i did with Bay"... SO i dropped the subject...
anyway should i just be happy that he wants to spend time with us or worry that hes gana crash and burn!!! i have time to myself all the time!! so i thought he would need it too????
BTW - i have to look out for signs of stress and worry in him as he tends to bottle it up so as not to worry me apparently!!   but that cant be good for him!!??
anyway opinions or experiences shared would be great thanks 
|
 |
|
Sponsored Links
|
|
|
Guests
Guest
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 17 May 2007 at 10:46am |
I have been "nagging" (as some may put it) to my Dp saying he needed to get out and do something for himself. Before Tyrell we were never home before 10pm every day as we were both fully involved in sport.
3 weeks ago his work asked him to play indoor netball. He asked me if he could (not sure why as he never normally asks) He has been to 3 games now and albeit it is only 1 hour a week, he totally loving it. He comes home all sweety and yuck but has the biggest smile on his face.
He has also been known in the last 2 weeks to stay at work on a Friday and have a beer with"The Boys" which he used to do pre Tyrell.
For me I have noticed the huge lift in attitude. (altho I notice to you don't have that) but for us it is the best thing he could have done for himself!
Good luck
|
|
miss
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
Points: 2547
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 17 May 2007 at 11:03am |
|
I was going to suggest some sort of sports thing too. good for the getting out, getting together with others and the endorphin rush. Indoor netball, cricket etc don't take up too much time and are good fun.
|
|
|
|
Two Blondinis
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: West Auckland
Points: 4370
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 17 May 2007 at 11:04am |
I keep saying the exact same thing to my DH!
We've had problems in the past which were a lot to do with his stress levels and blowing off at "little things" (what I think are small things anyways).
I've signed up for 2 classes a week to get out of the house and burn off some stress (and blubber  ) and have asked him HEAPS of times if he wanted to do a class (I can't see him coming with me and Emma to yoga and belly dancing  ) and he always says no!
He's kept his gym membership going and Tuesday night was the first time he's been since Caitlin was born
MEN!!! How can you help them if they won't help themselves!!?!??!
|
|
|
|
busymum
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
Points: 12236
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 17 May 2007 at 11:09am |
|
I wouldn't push him if he doesn't want to, chances are that he is already feeling pretty busy and just wants to lax out at home sometimes! What can you do at home to make it restful for him? Give him a 1/2 hour break when he gets home from work if he wants it (it's something my DH asked for at one stage), or would he like to go to the park as a family on Saturdays or something? Maybe he's an introvert and would happily spend the weekend in books or the shed. I'm sure if he's feeling pressured at home that he'll sort something out.
|
|
|
|
BaAsKa
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Points: 3844
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 17 May 2007 at 1:18pm |
gosh! im glad im not the only one trying to get DH out of the house!! 
I thought Harriers would be good for him cos he loves running etc but then i also thought that he might not want to do that because he has a very physical job as it is so more exercise would seem more like a chore. He loves hunting and fishing, hunting especially so i thought the gun club wouldve been good but he said that if he wants to unwind with a gun then hel just go hunting with my BIL (as per usual)...I want him to meet more people because he IS an introvert!! but i dont want to outright say it
He has stayed behind a few fridays with the work boys to have a "drink" BUT its always short lived because he doesnt drink alchohol (SP??) so just gets annoyed with the drunk dudes.
He had a bit of a break down last year which is why i decided to give in and move back to Kawerau where the family is so he could feel happy again (he asked to move back and i really didnt want to) and after many a conversations...well me nagging him to tell me the problem..he told me that it was a combination of feeling isolated, his health (he was having kidney probs), missing his family and everything in Tauranga had started to remind him of all the horrible times he was having rather than the good SO this is why i want to keep on top of it so it doesnt get to boiling point again
|
|
mummy_becks
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Points: 14931
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 17 May 2007 at 3:00pm |
|
Mine leaves me for 3 indoor netball games a week and more if a team needs a fill in. Its great he gets to have his time out and exercise at the same time.
|
|
I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived!
|
|
Chovynz
Senior Member
Joined: 07 March 2007
Location: New Zealand
Points: 547
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 17 May 2007 at 10:22pm |
Movies with mates. Don't have to think. Let him come up with the idea . We like to be "in control" of his own life.
|
Defending the male species since 1980 
|
|
MyMinis
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: werribee Vic
Points: 2771
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 18 May 2007 at 8:07am |
|
well DF has said he's going to wiat till we get to OZ so we can both do something away form the kids (that way we'll ahve my parents to look after them).
we both rarely get out of the house on our own, so we are going to get into martial arts together and once the kids are older involve them to.
but DF is going to take it the next step and get into training for ultimate fighter type fights, he loves martial arts and has wanted to get back into it for years.
Im also going to join a sport once over there to.
he's also going to go out in weekends with my dad fishing, as they both love fishing and DF is always happiest once hes had a few relaxing hours fishing.
I ofund pushing him into getting otu and doing things didnt work I had to wait for him to finally start actively looking into things himself, but I need to push him to get him to start doing them or he procrastinates lol
|
|
|
|
Maya
Senior Member
Joined: 16 September 2003
Location: Sydney
Points: 23297
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 18 May 2007 at 9:34am |
|
I send mine out to the Cruising Club every now and then to get absolutely plastered and make an idiot of himself, it seems to help him blow off steam and it means I get the house and the kids to myself for a night coz he stays at his sisters afterwards.
|
 Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
|
BaAsKa
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Points: 3844
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 18 May 2007 at 10:54am |
We were laying in bed last night watching tv and he out of the blue said "ok iv though of a club to join" so i eagerly sat up and said "oh cool!! what is it!!???" and he said "the MMs" so i said "oh iv never heard of that before what is it?" and he paused then said "the mongrel mob" bloody smart arse!!!! and then he proceeded to crack up laughing cos he obviously isnt serious!! GGRR got me all excited for nothing!!
|
|
Happy Hubbys....
