taking turns

Yesterday Taine was having a bad day - teeth were hurting, and he didn't sleep so was overtired. Lewis' mum came over and decided to take him with her. Leaving Jake with me. I have nbot seen Jake so heartbroken to see them go. He was inconsolable for about 10 minutes. i decided then and there that she wouldn't be able to take one without the other as it wasn't fair. Talking to Lew later he mentioned that his mum finds having both boys by herself too full-on and wanted to spend some one-on-one time with them to get to know them better. Then reaslied that I often take Jake by himself and not taine. My question is, should I relax and let the boys go off separately, even though the other gets very distraught, or should I say they come as a pair UNTIL they are old enough to understand the concept of taking turns a bit better? In the past I have accused his family of playing favourites so that might be in the back of my mind too, but I am really mixed about this.

i agree with gandt i think no matter what age the one who donst go will get upset and as long as she is taking each boy in turn then it should be alright

My kids come as a pair. They dont get seperated. i think it would get harder as they get older too.

I have no idea. But am very interested in what others think coz I worry a lot about this same issue with the gremlins. Being twins are they always a package deal, or do I make a point of separating them on occasion (pretty similar to Jake and Taine since they're so close in age).

I even nut out over whether I've spent more time holding Mercedes than Sienna or when I'm holding one baby and the other one is looking at me with big jealous eyes and I worry that it will scar one/both of them for life.

Argh - no one warned me that parenting was so angsty!

Personally, I think it's a good idea for kids to get some "special" time without their sibling - it's good both for the one who gets time with their grandparents/aunty and uncle whatever, as well as the other one who gets quality time with Mum and/or Dad. And yep I'd start it at a young age.

Often it's good for siblings to have space from one another, and time with just an adult and them when they can feel really special. I loved it as a kid when we'd do that, and then I also liked coming back and hanging out with the whole family again - it was always better after a break.

Anyway... Lizzle sorry to hear things are tough with your MIL, I don't really have any advice to offer but I hope the situation gets better for you!

I would let them go separately, and sometimes together (but it sounds like that would only work with one of you there also). They are different kids so I think they would enjoy the special attention instead of having to share all the time. But... I'm quite motherly & protective I guess, I wouldn't let Briona go by herself yet because I feel that the grandparents don't know/understand her well enough and the language isn't quite there. So if she got upset or wanted something particular (like a drink) I'd be worried that that would be overlooked. In saying all that, both our parents are quite busy and having one of the girls to stay hasn't come up yet. But I would be ok with Hannah going over for an afternoon or something.

Emma - My sister and I are 18mos apart and we were often "lumped" together (the next sibling was a boy so that made it even easier to lump us I think). There were times when I wished I could have had some time to myself without having the little sister half attached lol. I think identical twins are more likely to want to stay together - from what I've heard - I'd keep them together while they are young, perhaps do things separate when they are around the 2yr mark (but not always), and as they get older let them decide. Sometimes they will probably opt for each other's company/support and other times it will work better for them to have some space and individuality.