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Peanut 
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 Topic: What would you do?
Posted: 12 April 2007 at 10:32am |
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I need a bit of advice!
Am tossing up between two midwifes at the moment. One is really well known and the other is averagly known but has come well recommended too. The problem I have is that my MIL is a retired midwife (about a year ago)and I know she likes the more well known one (and I have heard awesome thinsg about her). My other concern is that when my SIL had her baby about 6 months ago she used the well known one but the midwife kept ringing and keeping the MIL informed. I don't want this to happen and would be extremely peed off if it did.
On last thing is that my SIl and I are so different that I can't imagine as using teh same midwife and the other midwife has been recommended by someone who is similar to me.
What do I do?
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mum2emj
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Location: Nelson
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Posted: 12 April 2007 at 10:39am |
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oooh that would really annoy me! isnt it against their rules to ring and chat about that? go with your gut- have you met the midwifes in person? go with the one you feel most comfortable.
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james
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Posted: 12 April 2007 at 10:41am |
go with your gut feeling i would be pissed off to if my midwife was ringing my mum to let her know whats going on with my preggy. i,m sure thats highly ilegal. you can do mini interviwes with both midwifes and see which one you click with. and if you go with the well know midwife you can state that you dont want her to go telling your mil anything good luck hun and congrats on the buba on the way 
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Jay_R
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Posted: 12 April 2007 at 10:43am |
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Go with the one you feel most comfortable with - if you are anything like me the LAST thing you would want would be to know that your MIL is being informed of everything! I reckon the least well known one would be the one I'd go for.
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Kels
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Posted: 12 April 2007 at 10:49am |
Like everyone has said, go with your own instincts of who you feel most comfortable with.
It is definitely illegal for the mw or any medical professional to disclose any information about a patient. That mw can actually be struck off the mw register for that sort of carry on.
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Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs
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Posted: 12 April 2007 at 11:06am |
Go with the one that you feel most comfortable with, as it is you having the baby at the end of the day. Gut instinct is the best!
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fattartsrock
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Posted: 12 April 2007 at 1:28pm |
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Go with the lesser known one, would be my instinct. That way, there can be no comparasins. Meet with them both and see hwat you think first, maybe?
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The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P
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busymum
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Posted: 12 April 2007 at 2:11pm |
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I agree, you could talk to the first mw and ask her to keep your "case" confidential and all that, but I suspect even if you did you'd still feel more comfortable with the other mw. Go with her.
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peanut butter
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Posted: 12 April 2007 at 3:27pm |
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Your first visit with the midwife is usually to discuss the process and how they do things....they dont sign you on till you decide to. that way you can try both. If you do go with one and then change your mind you are allowed to change your midwife at any point for any reason. It is really important to go with someone YOU are comfy with and they should understand that too.
As for telling the MIL, that is a breach of the privacy act unless you have consented to it. Maybe your SIL didnt mind but I would!!!
Good luck.
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Bombshell
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Posted: 12 April 2007 at 3:37pm |
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yep privacy act kicks in....if you go with her you need to mention that you want all information kept private except from you and hubby perhaps and that you understand she is bound by professional conduct and privacy act so you wont have to worry about that right? see what response you get and decide from there?
or stright out tell her you have heard from MIL that she was discussing cases and do not want that to happen with your case!
my other thought is a well known one is more likely to be busier = will you get service you want or need?
I personally liked my antenatal MW but have to say i found her a bit wishy washy and she was the one the spec told me he thought was better of about five as not so airy fairy like....my personality demands a bitmore i think so you def have to go with someone YOU like and can get along with - it is you and YOUR baby that they are taking into their hands and you will be relying on this person for a lot of information and assistance not to mention your lives!
good luck with your decision - let us know what you decde
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Bizzy
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Posted: 12 April 2007 at 4:16pm |
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meet them both first and see how you go. i dont think you will really know who you get on better with till you have met and had a chat.
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.Mel
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Posted: 12 April 2007 at 4:35pm |
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I agree, meet with the both of them first and then go with the one who makes you feel comfortable and answers all your questions. Good luck in your decision
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Brenna
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Posted: 12 April 2007 at 4:58pm |
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I also agree with everyone else - go with the one you feel most comfortable with because you are putting so much trust into them the last thing you want is to not feel comfortable. Doing an 'interview' is a good idea
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 My beautiful 2 girls...nearly 4 and 13 months
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my2angels
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Posted: 12 April 2007 at 5:20pm |
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Go with who you feel comfortable with. Your in chch right? Not sure if you want to name them but if you want to PM me the names I might be able to give you a second opinion. I have had a few midwives and used to work with a lady who worked at college of midwives in chch so go heaps of good advice from her.
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lizzle
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Posted: 12 April 2007 at 8:07pm |
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I would meet up with them as well, so if you don't go with the one your MIL likes, at least you can give her a reasonable excuse
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kebakat
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Posted: 13 April 2007 at 1:41pm |
I think everyone else has said what I think.. but good luck with your decision 
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mamanee
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Posted: 13 April 2007 at 1:50pm |
Yeah, everyone else has mentioned already what I think, but just go with what you feel is right.
When I switched midwives at 28 weeks (we moved cities) my dads workmates wife knew of a really good midwife who had a space free. I talked to her on the phone and she seemed really awesome so I set up an appointment with her, then a week later we were visiting one of DPs family friends (who is the head of plunket in Remuera) and she said 'No no, get rid of her, I know of someone who would be perfect!' I would have felt really mean, so I stuck with the first one and she turned out to be really good.
So yeah, go with your gut. 
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Mama2two
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Posted: 13 April 2007 at 1:56pm |
I had to make a decision on which m/w to use as one of them wasn't officially qualified when I started seeing them. The older of the two is lovely and was great to us last year with the baby we lost, but I really clicked with the newer m/w. In the end I went with the newer one (who is qualified now) and am so glad I did. I feel really comfortable with her 
I would definitley go with the one you want! It's your baby and personally I would hate my MIL knowing everything about the pregnancy. I have enough issues with mine ringing after every appointment to see how it went!
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