Life before babies

I could remember going to the toilet without a screaming toddler outside it or someone opening and closing the door the whole time.

I can also remember being totally empty as all I wanted was to be a mom and I thought it might never happen.

I remember being able to just pick up and go whenever and where ever i liked. *ditto*

I remember the late nights on the town with friends, where I come home without my shoes adn have no idea where I had left them *ahem*

I remember being able to sleep in as long as i liked *ditto again*

I remember feeling that a part of me was missing, which is now complete and currently laying on her playmate fast asleep (I didn't have the heart to move her and wake her up)

I remember thinking it was all about me, then I got married and it was all about us, now it's all about our precious little girl and nothing else matters

I actually can't remember life without Ella So when I have a chance to be by myself, I don't know what to do anymore!

I remember being able to sleep all day when I wanted to. And far too many hangovers. And having to scratch around for change to put petrol in the car to get to uni.

Now I get woken up at all hours, haven't had a hangover in nearly 5 years (May 19 to be exact ) and I still scratch around for change to put petrol in the car

But now I also have a beautiful princess and two small furry gremlins to make me smile

I remember working (and at the moment I really miss it)
I remember spending money on myself, mainly on clothes (still spend on clothes, just not mine!)
I remember going to the movies once a week, and being hungover lots
I remember (and really miss) going to BBQ's dinners etc and not having to go home early to put kids to bed
I remember (and miss, really really miss) being invited to bbqs/dinners/drinks with alot of other friends who seem to think I have grown a 2nd head now
I remember knowing all the gossip and loving it
I remember reading 2 books a week (now I spend far too many ours in here!)

Sometimes I really really hate being a mum, its hard, its thankless, its relentless sometimes and sometiomes it is plain boring.

But, when I look in at my 2 (for the moment) sleeping babies, it somehow seems worth it. Most of the time!

I remember spending all my nanny money on clothes - which i am currently still wearing as i am lucky if i spend $50 on myself for clothes per year since having the girls.. (i could change that, but i don't)..

I remember still spending all day dealing with toddler tantrums, mess and babies crying (worked as a nanny and a daycare teacher.. lol.. sucker for punishment!) not much has changed except with my own i can just stop sometimes and think "argh, do what you like i can't be *insert word of choice here*" and leave them to it.

I remember still waking up early, cos apartently according to mike "sleeping in wastes the day away" ha ha, he doesn't say that now so much.

I remember starting my nursing thinking "how can this get any more stressful?!"    - i found two ways, and i now realise that having unlimited time to spend the weekend blitzing an assignment i left till the last minute, then sleeping the next day... was no reason to feel so darn hard-done-by. lol

I remember thinking i felt tired at the end of the day, after sitting in class the whole day, then coming home, and doing nothing. pfft - that wasn't tiredness, that was "sitting on my bum all day-ness"

so yes, i remember thinking i was tired even though i wasn't by these standards.

I also feel that me and mike were no-where near as close as we are now.

kids aren't all bad, lol, i think they give you a better sense of understanding of what it's like to work, and to feel tired for something worthwhile.