Question about a sensitive topic...

A friend of mine is having a termination from medical reasons, I was going to get her some flowers but should I get a card?? Just a blank one saying I'm thinking of you or a sympathy card to acknowledge her loss as it was a much wanted baby??

What should I write in it? I'm not very good with words...

Edited by Mrs_B

We got soooo many flowers with Jared. If you wanna get her something more than a card ask if there is anything they would like in rememberance or something - we have a little ashes box, a puzzle name cause we got one for daniel and then we have a name plaque thing that is made out of stone. I heard some people don't like flowers cause they die eventually too...

And no offence freespirit but I would have been terribly angry and hurt if someone had said to me after having Jared that the time wasn't right.

I think some of the best messages we got were simple like I know its hard and theres nothing I can do to take the pain away but if you need anything let me know

Yep I'd stick with something like I'm so sorry for your loss or I can't begin to make it better but I'm here for you etc.  And then DO be there for her. SO gutting

Like the others have said we got HEAPS of flowers, and one of my memories from straight after I had the boys was Dh, and Mum and all being surrounded by flowers. They were lovely but like it has been said they don't stay with you.
the loveliest gift I got from was my closest girl friends - a maple tree in a beautiful planter, and then they had a roster when Dh and I were feed every night for two weeks -so one of them brought around a meal every daycompany and food! - honestly lovely when everything else around you is crumbling and you don't really know where to start with getting on with life again.
A card saying thinking of you is I think is good and saying if you ever want to talk i am on the phone, or a hug when you need it. My best friends are the ones who don't mind when i talk about the boys but don't pretend that they understand all my feelings. I had a couple of nasty comments about making the choice to end their lives - especially from some older women - which really upset me.
Just being there to talk if she wants to.

If I don't know what to say (and I usually don't at times like these) I write that I am thinking of them but I don't know what to say and I am there for them if/when they need me. I usually then try to do something nice like baking muffins or cooking them dinner to show I care.