Sleep

I woke at 5am this morning and couldn't go back to sleep so as I lay there I wondered why we needed sleep, I mean all it does is cause me problems.

I mean I worry that I am a bad mother as at 2.5yrs Jack no longer self-settles, not that he did for long anyway, he now has nightmares and sleep in our bed now as it is easier, sometimes from as early as 9.30pm.

I worry that I am not teaching Ben to self settle when sometimes I have to rock or feed him to sleep as he is over tired cos he is tired after being up just 1/2hr! I am trying to get him to bed at 7.30pm so I can have a little time to myself each day however if he feeds from about 7 to 9.30pm then he doesn't wake until at least 5am so what do I do? Get sleep or precious time to myself at the end of the day as I don't get it during the day?

Then this morning I wake at 5am since Ben normally does, except he didn't wake till 6.30am. And Jack who normally wakes just after 6 didn't wake till 7am. So DH and I are laying there awake from about 5am while the boys both sleep in!

So what is the point in sleep? All it does is cause me problems and stress!

I think most parents can relate with you on this topic
I wouldn't worry about Ben not being able to self-settle, he's still so little And by the sounds of things he already sleeps so well for a 10wk old. I think as a society, we have got a bit fixated on detaching our babies from ourselves. (I know in the early days I was with DD). DD is 6mth and still sometimes boobs to bed, also self settles sometimes - the most important thing is shes happy & healthy, which I'm sure both your boys are! And if I need to hold & jiggle her to sleep I will (much to the Karitane Nurses' disgust!)

Jack will get there one day - and before you know it he'll cringe at the thought of jumping in bed with you

But anyway, back to the topic of sleep - I've learnt to function adequately on 6 hours of broken sleep. Some days like you though, I wonder why the heck I bother with it! Its almost like torture being woken not long after hitting the pillow

Linzy wrote: Mamma2N wrote: I think as a society, we have got a bit fixated on detaching our babies from ourselves. I completely agree. I think that is why I have such an issue with the boys sleeping, there seems to be so much pressure to have them sleeping through the night and self settling no later than 6wks. All I seem to hear is that others just plonk their kids in bed and they go to sleep and sleep through. Whereas we always have to sit with Jack while he sleeps except for a few months earlier this year when we got him self settling, and he has only slept through sometimes. The pressure just gets to me sometimes. And I too have learnt to cope (well most days ) on 6-7hrs broken sleep.

Yeah, the pressure sucks hey!! I have to admit I was one of those 'smug' parents who had a had the perfect 3mth old who slept 12 hours straight and self-settled - imagine my surprise when a month later she started waking again (sometimes as much as 5-6 times per night) and even still now cries when I try to put her in bed
I found the LLL site and in particular their articles really good for putting my mind at ease. Having a young baby that self-settles, sleeps through the night, sticks to an imposed schedule day-in, day-out is NOT the norm - as ideal as that may sound.
It's been such a big learning curve for me (especially since sooo many of my attitudes towards babies have completely changed since having DD!) I've learnt to ignore what everyone elses babies are doing & not put such big expectations on her or myself for that matter. And since doing so I've found I'm much more relaxed on a whole.
Sounds like you're doing an awesome job Linzy, try to ignore everyone else - and keep doing what works for you all, after all its only for such a short time.
Oh and I hope tomorrow morning if they are sleeping, you are too! Nothing worse than waking when you expect them to and then they don't!

Hugs! I used to go for months and months on end surviving on 3 or so hours of sleep per night due to my eldest daughters sleep issues. I would have loved her to come into our bed but she didn't want to know about that idea. She now sleeps great though thankfully. Ashley doesn't sleep anywhere near as well as your boy but is pretty good really. Some nights she struggles with wind after about 4am so I let her sleep on me - it is worth it for the rest! They won't be little forever and I really doubt doing these "accidental parenting" things when our babies are overtired / unwell etc etc will hurt at all. To be honest I love the times Ashley sleeps on me - it is a really special time that will be over too soon, For the last 7 weeks I've only had about 4 hours sleep a night but you just learn to function and to function well for that matter! I don't notice the tiredness much at all now.

Hugs!

Thanks heaps FionaS and Mamma2N, so often I feel like the odd one out with the way we do things.

Linzy you do realise we co-sleep alot as well? Not every night but alot. It gets me sleep so its what we do, although I dont always want to co sleep cos I like my space. When she is in bed and I've had enough of her on me I hit DP and hand her to him lol

She gets way overtired and cranky when she is awake too long but refuses to sleep as much as we rock cuddle bounce you name it we do it! It has only been recently that she has slept a long period and she didn't last night dammit! But what I have found is that I need to make sure that she has a feed 1 1/2-2hrs before her final feed of the night and then she gets that full tummy and I can put her down. Unfortunately she isn't one of those kids you can put your boob in and she'll snack she just plain out refuses if she's not hungry not a bad thng really.

My mum so often says to me you can't spoil a baby which you can't! I admit to letting DD cry but that's cos I have tried everything and she still won't sleep so I don't know what else to do. She doesn't cry herself to sleep so of course it gets worse and she gives you the evils when you pick her up like why did you do this to me.

And as in OP I don't get time to myself at the end of the day she is clinging to me until I put her down at midnight yes midnight! I might get 20-40 mins here or there but she often wakes and it is always murphy's law that she wakes when I go to do something so you know what I don't even bother lol.

if you need to talk just msg me!