Where to from here?

Thought I might try and rack your brains for some ideas/input if thats ok! All my friends/family have their own agendas so its hard to get an unbias opinion from any of them.

We moved from Wellington over here (London) just over a year ago. We had planned on coming for 1 1/2 to 2 years but we both really like it so have decided to stay for longer, probably another 3-5 years. We are definitely coming back but we have no idea where to go!

We both hated Auckland- although my bestie lives there it isn't an option for either of us. DHs family lives in Hamilton, he would LOVE to go back there but I won't, I honestly think it would mean divorce within a week if we did. I love Wellington and would love to go back there but DH was really unhappy there and I don't want to make him go there as I want us to be somewhere we both want to go. Also, my family is there and Mum has this way of coming between us (I am aware of it but find it hard to not let her get in my head) so I think it is best for our marriage that we have a little distance from her. I would love to go to Nelson but as DH is an accountant and most of his experience is for multinational firms the work options are pretty poor there. Neither Christchurch or Dunedin appeal to either of us.

The only other option really is Melbourne. I feel like a traitor considering moving to Oz but its within a relatively easy flight of NZ (compared to the 29 hour one over here!)- DH can earn great money and I just like it there. DH is keen but my worry is its a bit too far from family and just the thought of my kids growing up being australian... (no offence to any aussies out there!).

What do you guys think? Reading back it kind of seems like I have already made my mind up but I really am torn. I know DH will go anywhere I want in the end but I want to do what is best for all of us. I like the idea of being in Wellington as I have my family there- for the support and for my kids to grow up seeing their grandparents on a really regular basis BUT money is a big deal to us. When things are tight we fight ALOT and things would be alot easier in Melbourne due to the bigger wages DH can earn. Sigh. Sorry for the big waffle! All comments/ideas/opinions welcome!

Hi Jen

I'm a newby to this site but I'll give you a little background. I went to London for my OE back in 1997 and within my first year met DH (who's English). I ended up staying 9 years and having our two children over there. We moved to Auckland (where my family is) before our eldest started school. In London Dh, who is in IT, earned stupid money in the City, here he earns more than the national average but not alot. He has worked in very specialised fields in London, here he has struggled to find similar work and is now working in a completely different field. We've never really fought but now find ourselves niggling at each other as money is really tight. I miss having disposable income, not sure how we're going to afford Xmas this year, and it's all a bit of a struggle.
Now, did we make the right move. I'd still say yes, it works for us. Money and job satisfaction aside, the kids are blooming. NZ is a fabulous place for kids to grow up. Our kids are now a short drive from relatives as opposed to the 5 hours they were in the UK, and family is alot.
But I'm not saying it would be for everyone. It sounds to me like you've thought long and hard and that Melbourne would work for you. I have a good friend in Sydney and another in Brisbane and they are both back to visit about once a year - the better salaries and lower cost of living allow for this. I completely understand the draw of Aus. We talked about it but I didn't want to be that close to 'home' but still that far IYSWIM.
Anyway, that's my tuppence worth. I wouldn't panic with any decisions - If you're planning on staying in the UK for a few more years you never know what will happen to help you make up your minds in the next 3 years.

Yeah I know- it seems a bit silly worrying about it now but I am an anal planner and can't stand not having it all mapped out.

Our 2 biggest things we fight over are money and family so it seems best to go to Oz as it minimises the effects of both of those. I just worry about the kids not having that family bond they would have if the grandparents were just down the road. Plus being an only child I think it will be hard on my folks that their only child/grandchildren will be in another country.

Oz