Awww, thank you Gwen, you've made my day! I really didn't think anybody bothered to read my baby diary
Bonding was a huge thing for us, and I carried around a huge amount of guilt over it. For the first few weeks I felt so detached from them that it was like I was watching someone else's life. Those who have been around here a while will remember a post I made titled "Newsflash - I finally like my babies" coz up until that point I didn't really.
I bonded instantly with Maya, so not having that with the gremlins made me really anxious, made me feel guilty for how long we had wanted them for, how long it took us to conceive, and I felt like I had made a huge mistake.
But all of a sudden in the past couple of months the smoke has started to clear, and it really is like I'm walking around with warm fuzzies all the time, every time I think about them I just want to squish them up, they are real little people and so precious and beautiful.
I think having twins is a huge thing, and being expected to love not one but two babies when you are sleep deprived, sore and tired and still trying to find your feet. So don't be too hard on yourself! And don't pay much attention to other twin parents who say it was all blissful from the beginning - they're either lying, or they have short memories!