Ramblings from this stressed mum

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   There have been so many changes at my place lately and I think I'm going bananas!  So I figure a ramble out there to "cyberspace" (whoever that is ) may help me.

Firstly, DH and I have been talking a lot about the whole anti-smacking bill and all that, and even though smacking hasn't been outlawed we decided 3 weeks ago, for various reasons, to give no smacking a try. We had already been using a mixed approach for Hannah (because at her age we've been trying to integrate consequences already) but it was a big change for Briona. Hannah is usually pretty well behaved unless she's too tired, so long as she has enough stimulation in the day. ie if we do a puzzle etc together in the morning she'll be sweet. If I don't make time for her, I'll know about it 

Briona on the other hand is really headstrong. She's going through her two-year-old "I will!"s at the moment, doesn't want help, wants to make her own decisions... but she's like that anyway. (Which is why she was crawling at 5mos and pulling to standing at 6mos. ) So the sudden change did not go unnoticed and she has been toeing the line for the last 2-3 weeks - more than normal that is.

On one hand I like the change I see in the kids. We weren't hugely overbearing parents or anything, but what I noticed was that instead of doing things when we said so, for fear of getting a smack, now both of them are more confident. I *think* that is a good thing, it's nice to see them more "free". But maybe it's not a good thing cause they are a lot more cocky when I tell them what to do.  I don't know if it is a "teething" situation or long-term.

I think part of the problem is that I don't clap down on every single wrong thing the kids do - I'm a bit inconsistent. It's not for want of trying but this time-out and stuff (basically we are doing the 'supernanny' thing) takes a whole heap more patience than a quick wallop and keep on with the day. (I think the cool-down period is great but sending the girls to the bathroom, putting them back if necessary, talking to them after a minute... it draws the whole thing out.) It's really hard to do that and look after 2 other children at the same time!

Secondly, DH has a new job (he's had it for about 5 weeks now) and his routine is quite different. He used to work 6 days, 7am to 3pm-ish. Even though he slept or mucked around in the afternoons we had a deal where I'd cook dinner at 5pm and he'd mind the kids for me.  Now his hours have completely changed. He's working 8am to 6pm Mon-Fri (awesome to have the Saturdays back!) but actually sometimes works extra because he's on a salary now too. And then he offloads his "teething" difficulties onto me (as in, we discuss them and I try to offer support etc) - which I'm glad he does, but you know, it's just another thing on my plate.

So I not only have two kids toeing a line that didn't used to get crossed as much, but also DH is not as available during the week.

Then we have our finances recovering from suddenly having to buy a new carseat last week ($270) and our home help finishing up on Monday (because my broken foot is ok now - it's been almost 3mos).... and I'm just a tad stressed.

ETA: I'm a bit stressed about home help finishing, not because of my foot but just because I am so out of routine! The dishes and washing, I haven't done those jobs for about three months!

Then Hannah was supposed to get dressed for bed and in the time that I changed both the little girls, she had done nothing. I sent her to the bathroom. Two minutes later, are you ready to say sorry? She said no  (a first for her). So I left her for another minute. I went back, dressed her and whizzed her straight to bed but she was sortof laughing - in an annoying kind of way. I told her to be quiet cause Kryssi was there (they share a room) but she didn't. So I've put her in the extra family room, on the couch. Grrrr why'd she pick tonight to upset me?!

I just got interrupted with a phone call, a mate of DH's wants him to join him on a mens' camp in two weeks' time:

Is he going? (he asked)

No.

Oh, why not?

Cause he's going out of town for a week in about 10 days after the camp, and he wants to spend that time with the kids if possible, but will probably also be really busy at work.

(Pause) I'm not buying that.

I don't care. He's not gonna be there and they can arrange another camp some other time.

Ahhhh now I feel better. That guy just wore all the tension Hannah put on me earlier tonight! Serve him right!!  

Edited by busymum