Grr family! *sigh* What do ya do?

My sister is stupid. Yes, very stupid.

I get so fricken angry i want to scream. We arent majorly close, so its not like i can actually say "HEY, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

My older half sister is just.. crazy. Shes gotten into the wrong kinda relationships and got into drugs really bad(p, of course) and shes got diabetes and has been in and out of hospital cause she doesnt look after herself (on more than one occasion has nearly died). Shes got 2 kids, Keisha is 10 and Eve-ahna, whos id say would be close to 2 im not entirely sure (like i said we arent that close).

To make a long story short, the father of Eve-ahna is a bastard he hits her and hes gone to jail and hes out again and wanted AGAIN. She is still with him and now her kids have been taken from her because of it(she is only aloud to see them 4 times a year).

WHY? Why would you risk losing your children because of some bastard who has smashed your teeth into your gums, ans smashed you so hard your teeth have gone through your tongue and GOD KNOWS what else?

She loves her kids but how much does she really, if she does this?

I feel so bad for my neices. And theres nothing i can do. Its frustrating.
This has all been happening over the last 3/4 years.

You'd think a girl would learn huh? Obviously not.

unfortunately battered womans syndrome is a reality and often women stay with their abuser as they see no better life for them....

hopefully CYFS will demand she take a protection order against him, and stick to it, do some parenting courses and do some forms of drug counselling at least....
she is unlikely to get those kids back for quite some time otherwise....

am guessing you guys are now having to attend a family group conference? I always feel for the poor kids...they dont know daddy is a criminal, and mummy is a druggie.....and they wonder what just happened to their world!

Awww, Melln, that absolutely sux.  Tough to see it happening in your family.  I hope she makes some major big changes. 

nzpiper wrote: I dont understand how people get into these problems and it really sucks for the little ones but some do manage to turn themselves around.

Normally the relationship doesn't start abusive. Abusers are very vindictive - they are the best thing since sliced bread for a while - suck you in and then bang! First time they will apologise refusly and you beleive them.... Then it continues and every time you forgive them cause a. You think of the good time b. you hope they really mean it this time when they say it won't happen again c. Your afraid of failure and what others will think d. You abusive partner has drummed into you that you are worthless so this is all you deserve.

Mellin I know its fustrating you just feel like slapping them one.... 'get out and over it etc' you feel like saying ... In a way its good the kids aren't with her. I hope their foster family are good.




Edited by AnnC

if they are in cyfs care they have to look at immed whanau first...guess that is why your dad stepped up...and they are his grandkids. CYFS pay a support per week but its not a lot...but then I think why should it be to look after family?

if no immed whanau steps up they then look at hapu and iwi....and then at outside caregivers...but that is real hard if anyone in the family is maori! meanwhile ive seen families step up but noone pass the caregivers assessments...they have had kids taken off them, they have crim history etc....so kids sit with caregivers who are not related and who watch kids come and go....

Id get your dad to think outside the square a little...is there a more distant relative that maybe has grown kids or no kids or friends who are fond of these kids who would be appropriate caregivers for them? or even friends of your dads who dont know the kids but would be good? talk to them and give their names to CYFS as possible caregiver options...the mum wont like it but at this point TOUGH!