Do you think this sounds ok?

This is my application for Nursing. I find it rather difficult to talk about myself. So i don't know if this sounds ok. The question was why do you want to be a nurse.

** Thanks everyone for your help**

Off to make some changes.



Edited by Kandice

IMO I would reword the "i left school without passing anything..." to something like "despite leaving school without formal quals I have managed to achieve a successful career in sales (?) at... which illustrates my determination to succeed"

I would also make a bigger deal of the cert you have done... maybe saying something like it has affirmed my desire to pursue a career in nursing...

I think I would probably mention that you have done the pre health cert before mentioning the schooling history...

Good luck!!!!!

Is there other questions that you have to answer also or is that it?

I sooo don't remember having to answer questions when I did my nursing application.

Yup I agree with the above...

Yes, I agree with Bizzy. The first 2 paragraphs are significant to you but are far too personal. They probably don't actually want honesty. And never put negative information like "left school without passing anything" into an application even if you're trying to demonstrate that you're now really motivated. Also maybe pop the the first sentence from the last paragraph on the end of the one Bizzy highlighted, because it is important information, but maybe change it slightly..... "I have also recently completed the Pre Heath Certificate through CPIT which has further motivated me to pursue my studies in Nursing".

Other ideas for things you could include;
Enjoy working with people.
Nursing has many different specialties and career paths to keep you interested.
You have an Interest in health/science.

Good luck.

thesaff wrote: Yes, I agree with Bizzy. The first 2 paragraphs are significant to you but are far too personal. They probably don't actually want honesty. And never put negative information like "left school without passing anything" into an application even if you're trying to demonstrate that you're now really motivated. Also maybe pop the the first sentence from the last paragraph on the end of the one Bizzy highlighted, because it is important information, but maybe change it slightly..... "I have also recently completed the Pre Heath Certificate through CPIT which has further motivated me to pursue my studies in Nursing". Other ideas for things you could include; Enjoy working with people. Nursing has many different specialties and career paths to keep you interested. You have an Interest in health/science. Good luck.

Thank you so much for the 'other ideas' I couldnt think of anything else to say.

kandice even if your hobbies dont relate they many just want to see that you are involved with things... as opposed to just sit at home watching tv. they want to see you are a well rounded person with a commitment to becoming a nurse.

i'm sure that when you first mentioned this on the board one of your main reasons was because of the help you received when you had your daughter and that inspired you ...maybe you should incorporate that.