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Bizzy 
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
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 Topic: My biggest fear - Realised!
Posted: 30 October 2008 at 7:36pm |
When i was pregnant with gabriel my biggest fear (other than having an ugly baby) was that he would be like my husbands older son, who is ten now. I dont get on with him, but not for lack of trying. He is rude and ignorant for starters, two things i cant stand. And now i can see my son displaying so many of the same traits and even the same looks. I can feel myself getting angry at him purely for the fact that hs is so much like him...and its not fair on him. I really love my son and dont like how i am feeling about him lately. 
Edited by Bizzy
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Maya
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Posted: 30 October 2008 at 7:59pm |
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Hugs! I went thru a similar thing with Maya when she was 3-4. She'd throw these whopper tantrums and she just reminded me so much of Mona which made me even angrier. Not that I don't get on with Mona, she was just a really difficult kid to parent, and I was terrified that just coz Maya had started behaving like her that she'd be the same. I had a big whinge about it to mum and she pointed out that the big difference was that Mona displayed those behaviours at 7,8,9,10 years old, whereas Maya was only 3 or 4 and that it was normal 3-year old behaviour but not normal 8-year old behaviour, and if I was consistent and firm with Maya she'd snap out of it unlike Mona.
Does that even make sense? I'm not explaining it very well. She was right tho, it was just a passing phase...
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james
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Posted: 30 October 2008 at 8:11pm |
aww hun its ok there are time i relly dont like james becuse of his health probs and his dyspraxia blaming him for making my life harder but i relly do love him as do you big hugs hun
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Roksana
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Posted: 30 October 2008 at 11:49pm |
Debs - I am sure its a phase he is going thru hun!! And I know you love all your kids!
All you can do it to teach G what right and wrong and how to behave etc...and the rest is...well a waiting game! May be your Dh's older son (who I presume doesnt live with you?) had a different parenting style (from his mum).
I am sure G will turn out quite different...as you are his mum!! 
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pomikiwi
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Posted: 31 October 2008 at 9:04am |
 Bizzy wrote:
When i was pregnant with gabriel my biggest fear (other than having an ugly baby) |
lol, I always thought this with DD and wondered all the time who she would look like, i'm not as bothered this time though.
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fattartsrock
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Posted: 31 October 2008 at 9:44am |
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Hugs Bizzy. If it makes you feel any better, I feel exactly the same about my kids and DSS. I felt really awful when people commented on some phots we had taken recently when people commented how alike the kids were to DSS (which isn't a bad thing, its nice they all look related, lol) and all I could think is how horrified I will be if they turn out like him.
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caitlynsmygirl
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Posted: 31 October 2008 at 12:22pm |
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You know what little boys are like , they idolise older boys...im sure the novelty will wear off.
Perhaps when stepson does something not very good, and Gabriel brings it up , you could say something like "yes, its not very good that he behaves like that, Im sure you wont "
When I was pregnant with C my worst fear (apart from something bad happening to her ) was people saying "oh look ....you gave birth to a monkey "....
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caitlynsmygirl
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Posted: 31 October 2008 at 12:23pm |
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oh and meant to add, perhaps you could start making a big deal about Toby looking up to him and making sure hes a good role model for Toby etc
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lilfatty
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Posted: 31 October 2008 at 3:48pm |
caitlynsmygirl wrote:
When I was pregnant with C my worst fear was people saying "oh look ....you gave birth to a monkey ".... |
My Mum said I did look like a monkey ... and that she wouldnt let anyone come to the hospital to see me! 
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Kels
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Posted: 31 October 2008 at 11:48pm |
Perfectly natural emotion is to "dislike" your kids behaviour for what ever reason and believe me it gets more stronger as they get older. They take on al these personas for periods at a time and they do past but boy oh boy getting thru them is a mission to say the least!
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Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs
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My biggest fear - Realised!
