feelings about IVF

This may sound stupid and i may be over thinking everything (i tend to do that sometimes lol) but i'm just wondering how people that have done and are about to do IVF felt in the build up to it. I ask this because over the past couple of weeks i have been thinking about it ALOT and have had a few moments.... (poor DH lol) and can hardly talk about it without getting a bit emotional. I dont know wether it has been because we are now in the year that we will be doing IVF that it has become more of a 'reality' and before hand i was pinning my hopes on that we would be able to concieve with out the full on invasive stuff but as it is happening this year it has freaked me out and i know that it MAY still happen before hand and i havent given up hope and if it does come to IVF then so be it but i suppose i am really scared and in a way i will feel like a failure that i cant concieve on my own

on the other hand i know that i am very lucky to have IVF as a 'backup' and it is exciting at the same time but i just cant help feeling the way i am feeling at the moment and i'm sure once i get my head around it properly and accept it i guess it will be alot eaiser to handle and look foward to.

not sure if my babbling made any sense but thanks for reading if you still are lol

so if anyone could share with me how you have felt in the build up to it, i would really appreicate it.

Hey there Noddle,

I do know what you mean. When we first found out about having to do it, it was all you thought about. Believe me you think about it a lot more in the build up to it, particularly if you have to do the injections.

We are coming up to our third round of treatment all up. We did one round with the injections & harvesting of the eggs & this will be our second round of donor.

It is particularly harder being the women & thinking about it, because if your partner is like mine, they don't talk about it much at all.


                                  

noodle - I know exactly what you mean. We're doing our cycle on March and it feel a bit like a train bearing down on me at the moment. New Years was hard because, in your own words, this is the year that we're doing IVF.

Somthing really rather random set me off in a flood of tears in the park today, walking the dogs. I thought I pretty well had all this stuff out the way, but, it seems you're never too jaded to be a bit of a disaster in this busines. He's been looking at me funny all night, but I still can't tell him what actually set me off (though I know) because it was about as left in left field as it gets!

Thinking of you!

thanks guys! and big to you too ginger ive got my fingers crossed tight for you!

you are right about remembering the positives lulu..... i was having a big think about it last night and yes it is scary but we are lucky to have the opportunity to qualify for the 2 rounds free as there are some people out there that dont and my heart really goes out to them, infertility is hard enough with out having the extra burden of not qualifying for it. (ooh that sounds like its a big money thing and it definatly isnt coz we would save the money for a round if it came to that but having 2 rounds paid for is a big weight of our minds if that makes any sense) i also thought at the end of the day its the baby that we are after and if ivf is the only way we can get it there then so be it. and once we have our baby in our arms ivf will be a distant memory.
I definatly have to keep thinking positive and de -stress a bit about it all, deep down i know it will happen one way or the other its just the wee emotional hurdles on the way i need to make it over and talking to you guys helps so thanks heaps!

Hey Lulu it is great that you are 'lurking' around and able to offer this kind of support. I too am about to embark on IVF, round starts mid to late Feb.

Had a real emotional night last night as i got the first sightings of AF. I had hoped the nice relaxing summer holiday might have done the trick but alas no (AF still hasn't fully shown but is on her way). I really let it all out last night and poor DH caught some of the brunt of it too - he had his blood tests yesterday and said 'look i bled for you....' I turned around and say 'no, it's for us' and left it at that, but when the water works turned on last night i let him know how that made me feel - he did apologise afterwards saying he'd said it without thinking. Also, I know all of our friends and family are supportive and happy that we have the chance to do IVF and publicly funded now too, but sometimes i read it the wrong way (Over four years of trying does some strange things to your mind believe me).

Anyway, that may give you a little insight into how I'm feeling about IVF at the moment. I am really scared about the whole thing, i have a fear of needles which isn't helping matter - but on the other hand am looking forward to the end result.

So, Lulu or any other IVF mums/mums to be, if you have any more great words of wisdom for those of us about to embark on our IVF journey, please do share them.



Edited by mellybelly

Thanks mellybelly & noodle, I hope I can be of some help and/or support. Mellybelly, I found with DH that he just didn't and couldn't understand how the process felt for me. I think DH's generally feel that while they support the idea of having a baby, it's more the passion of the woman in the partnership. I know that may be a big generalisation, but that's what I have found with every couple I know. It's a rare man who can fully understand the roller coaster that we go through when experiencing infertility and treatment. Of course infertility can be a hard journey for men too, but usually it's more to do with pride than anything I think. Gosh I have blahed on, but what I was really trying to say is, it sounds like you have a supportive DH mellybelly, but men will always suffer from foot in mouth disease!
Good luck for you upcoming treatment, I am sure it will all go well!

Just wanted to put my two cents worth in. I've done one IVF ICSI cycle which was unsuccessful and am going to start my second round in March, we didn't end up with any frozen embryos in Round 1.
It is such a hard thing to cope with and I have my good days and my bad days where I burst into tears for no good reason & with no warning! I have only just started to realise what a huge amount of pressure it has been for DH as well he is only just beginning to open up about it all. I think counselling should be compulsory (and free) through the fertility clinics!!
I have an infertility book by Zita West with an IVF chapter that is really helpful, has lots of tips with coping and how you need to rest up and that sort of thing I think its called somethign like the complete guide to fertility and conception. I also used self hypnosis which was great - there is a lovely hypnotherapist at mother-well in auckland who specialises in fertility and this can really really help get you into the right head space. I really believe you have to believe that its going to work and have no doubts about it in your mind and hypnosis helped me get into this frame of mind - and helped keep me relaxed throughout the whole process. I'm having a hard time getting that postive attitude back so am going to go back to hypnosis and get ready for my next cycle.
Good Luck!! You are totally normal to be freaking out, its so unfair we have to be on this rollercoaster!

Hi
I am in the middle of my first ivf cycle. Its been a long wait but finally we are doing it. The injections aren't so bad you get used to it quickly. The pressure to succeed though is quite immense. Everyone is saying that it'll work for us, I am not sure. We go to Wgtn for scan on saturday to see if follicles are growing, then wait around down there until they say its time for egg collection. So the lack of control over what is happening is frustrating. And so many damn hurdles to get over. Even if I get pg I won't beleive I am going to have a baby till its born. I guess though I am thankful we have the opportunity to at least try. If we don't succeed though we have decided we won't have an egg donor, so its now or never.
You gotta give it a go....

Well it is finally here - the time to begin our IVF journey. As i mentioned in the Infertility thread AF arrived today - Had my day 1/2 bloods today (3 viles!) and i begin taking the Pill tomorrow (still can't get over the fact i need to go back on that....) and then i guess we'll find out our treatment plan.

Think I will go back through the threads and read over some of the IVF information you lovely ladies who have already been through it have written.