New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - Light Hearted - Be on Guard
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Events   Register Register  Login Login


Forum LockedLight Hearted - Be on Guard

 Post Reply Post Reply
Author
.Mel View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: 14 January 2007
Location: Orewa
Points: 9078
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote .Mel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Light Hearted - Be on Guard
    Posted: 05 February 2008 at 9:50am
ALL WOMEN SHOULD BE ON GUARD!! PLEASE READ AND TELL YOUR FRIENDS.

Most of you have read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys were stolen while he was passed out. Well, read on. While the kidney story was an urban legend, this one is not. It's happening every day!!

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone else's thighs. The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Who would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for years? Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose. Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again.

My ass was next.

I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear end to the thighs they stuck me with earlier. I couldn't believe that my new ass was attached at least three inches lower than my original. Now, my rear complemented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I prayed that long skirts would stay in fashion.

It was two years ago when I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and I watched horrified but fascinated as the flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary. My body was being replaced one section at a time. How clever and fiendish.

Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age is supposed to creep up, unnoticed, something like maturity. NO, I was being attacked repeatedly and without warning. In despair, I gave up my T-shirts.

What could they do to me next?

My poor neck suddenly disappeared faster than the Thanksgiving turkey it now resembled. That's why I decided to tell my story. I can't take on the medical profession by myself. Women of the world wake up and smell the coffee. That really isn't plastic that those surgeons are using. You KNOW where they are getting those replacement parts, don't you? The next time you suspect someone has had a face “lifted" look again. Was it lifted from you? I think I finally found my thighs - and I hope that Cindy Crawford paid a really good price for them!

This is not a hoax - This is happening to women in every town every night!!

WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

P.S. I must say that last year I thought someone had stolen my breasts. I was lying in bed and they were gone! As I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept.

Now I keep them hidden in my waistband

Mr Mellow (16)
Miss Attitude (8)
Destructa Kid (3)

Back to Top
Sponsored Links


Back to Top
The_Stuarts View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member


Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Wellington
Points: 509
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote The_Stuarts Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 February 2008 at 9:55am
LOL. OMG that is so true!!
Back to Top
mummy_becks View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member


Joined: 01 January 1900
Points: 14931
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mummy_becks Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 February 2008 at 10:26am

LOL that is funny.

I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived!
Back to Top
Paws View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Auckland
Points: 5860
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Paws Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 February 2008 at 11:38am
So that's what happened to me!!!!

Back to Top
Bumble View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: 27 March 2007
Location: West Auckland
Points: 1691
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bumble Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 February 2008 at 11:51am
LMAO!!!!
formerly known as "Bee"

Ethan ~ March 2003 Big 6 year old school boy!
Micah ~ Aug 2008 ~ Smiley pants who loves telephones!
Back to Top
Kels View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Lower Hutt
Points: 11520
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 February 2008 at 7:17pm

ROFLMAO!!!!!


Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs
Back to Top
.Mel View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: 14 January 2007
Location: Orewa
Points: 9078
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote .Mel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 February 2008 at 8:37pm
It was my boobs that went first
Mr Mellow (16)
Miss Attitude (8)
Destructa Kid (3)

Back to Top
busymum View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member


Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
Points: 12236
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote busymum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 February 2008 at 8:49pm
Hahahahaha! That is hilarious and I absolutely loved the last line (even though it isn't true of me - my breasts hide by flattening into my chest )

Edited by busymum
Back to Top
yummymummy View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Auckland
Points: 2161
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote yummymummy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 February 2008 at 7:09am
LOL
This expalins a lot of things. Must go searching for my thighs, bum and tummy now
    
Back to Top
 Post Reply Post Reply

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down

Forum Software by Web Wiz Forums® version 12.05
Copyright ©2001-2022 Web Wiz Ltd.

This page was generated in 0.578 seconds.