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Forum LockedARGH! school - worries, argh???!!!!

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mum2paris View Drop Down
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    Posted: 25 July 2008 at 10:25pm
Ok, So, now that Paris has had her 1st school visit, I am freaking out. FREAKING OUT!!!

I had been ok, but then of course Mike came with me and Paris, and the whole time was sitting there with this look on his face like he'd suddenly just realised the whole gravity of the situation of sending our girl to school in just under 2 weeks time.... and now that's rubbed off on me.

So go ahead, hurry up and tell me this is normal - I just feel so scared for her!!

This is what i am worried about in the next few weeks for my girl.

Paris is a slow to warm kind of girl. and i know - it was only her 1st school visit today - but off at playtime she went and went straight for the junglegym - which was fine - she was happy etc.

However she was all alone. The other kids in the class just went off and the girls kinda buddied up and really (i watched them) wandered around aimlessly not really playing. I am worried that either 1) Paris is going to do her own thing - which is fine - but won't have mates to play with, or 2) go with the girls in her class but spend her time just wandering instead of doing what she loves - which is playing on junglegyms etc.

Also, I know things will change as she gets to know them, but right now her mates in the class are 3 boys that were at daycare with her until they went to school last term. - Now i don't mind her being mates with them, she's always been mates with them - but i don't want that to interfere with her making new friends - especially as.. i know this is a wicked generalisation.. boys do tend to do a few more silly things, and i worry that because she knows them more - she'll try to fit in with them again and do the silly stuff too.

With the visit, she was fine in terms of coping - knew things - was clearer with her writing and letter formation than alot of the other kids, and i am glad we have done simple reading and words and sounding things out with her. But It just feels so scarey, so so scarey. She had been so excited - and once into the classroom - which is one of the older pre-fab ones as they have had a huge influx of newbies of late - her face kinda dropped - she looked lost and worried and just totally un-impressed with the whole thing... I worry this will rub off and affect her view and excitement to school and spark in terms of learning etc.

The other thing mike has said is, yes, because it's a public school - and up until now she had been at a new, well-funded early education centre, with children from similar backgrounds, with simlar-minded parents. - We are now putting her into public school, where there is all of a sudden a HUGE diversity of situations, and she'll be subjected to other kids that come from.... - less fortunate situations.   (please don't get offended anyone it's not meant to sound hoity... at all)    And be subjected and exposed to well, some less than wonderful behaviours, attitudes etc.    I definately don't want to shelter her her whole life, i just worry about plunging her head first into such a very different world from which she is used to - remembering that her well-equiped, wonderfully diverse daycare centre has been her 2nd home since 11 mths of age. She is used to having alot of opportunities that most kids at other centres would probably not have - just because she is at one that is tied in with a learning institute that is truely wonderful.

I became very aware of (well, remembered ) about the fact that unfortunately there are some parents who don't really care about their kids learning etc/appearance/nutrition - all that stuff that until now we have not had to worry about - as i said - the parents were all very like-minded and hands-on and involved in the centre and their kids etc.

I got home and both me and mike agreed that well - even if she went to the private girls school here in palmy - that it wouldn't guarantee her a better learning experience and that we don't want her to grow up elitist, and well - public schooling didn't harm us...   We do know that looking at it now - the private school would have been more similar in environment and teaching etc to what she is used to. I wonder if this will make a difference.

We want her to be encouraged to learn. I definately don't think she needs the best of the best, and i don't think that fancier newer stuff in the classroom will change her journey as much. It is more the environment - the attitude, the opportunities - I think now that maybe having gone for something more similar to the start she has already had - may have been more... hhhhmmm, beneficial to her adjustment .

I just worry. I am a worrier.

Tell me this is normal for mums to go thru before their baby goes to school - what have others done?

Should we have gone for the private school or should i suck it up and stop being such a sooky-la-la.

put it down to freaking out ...

What do you think.

At the very end of the day - mike shares all these attitudes - we have spent the night nutting out our worries and reminding ourselves that it was 1 visit, it's a new situation, and she was fine - and seemed happy enough - (given that it WAS a new situation.. which she doesn't warm to quickly generally).

I guess - i spose, that if it all turns reallllllly bad that private schooling might be a move we could make - if it's really affecting her.   But really i think it's us that is just being silly.

She'll be fine right?

Edited by mum2paris
Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja

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.Mel View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote .Mel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 July 2008 at 10:53pm
Can I tell you to suck it up and stop worrying about things that haven't even happened yet!

Let the girl find her own way, her own friends, you will be surprised how well they settle into the school environment, they get lots of encouragement from their teachers and their other classmates...

Stop worrying!

From personal experience it take about 2 weeks for them to settle into school, after those 2 weeks expect her to hit the wall.. there may be mini meltdowns, overly tired, and just feeling blah about the whole thing.

Take a deep breath and a step back and let your little girl enjoy!
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mum2paris View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mum2paris Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 July 2008 at 10:58pm
Thank you.
Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja

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.Mel View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote .Mel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 July 2008 at 11:02pm
Was I any help or did I make you feel worse?

Seriously though, you'll be amazed at quickly they adapt to their new surroundings and friends.

Now it's just a matter of you letting go of the perfect daycare and taking the next step on to big school!
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mum2paris View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mum2paris Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 July 2008 at 11:03pm
I know. you did make me feel better.   I just joked about being the silly mum getting all freaked out - i didn't realise it would actually happen!
Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja

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ellen View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ellen Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 July 2008 at 8:05am
Starting school is way more scary for Mums than kids sometimes.

This is a big step in her life and yours. You are going to second guess yourself and will do so many more times before she becomes independant and leaves home. Like Mel said she will probably hit the wall after a few weeks when she realises that school is not quite the same as daycare - so be prepared, but remember she would probably go through this faze wherever you sent her.

As long as deep down you're happy with your choice of school, I wouldn't worry about her being exposed to other kids diverse backgrounds. Sounds like she has a loving family who are giving her a wonderful, stable home life.

My personal beliefs are that we need to expose kids to different cultures, backgrounds, etc, otherwise they're going to grow up thinking everyone's like them and have a pretty one-sided view of the world and be close minded in their outlook.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote my4beauties Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 July 2008 at 10:23am

Janine - I'm feeling exactly the same way!!!!  I get this awful sick feeling in my stomach just thinking about it.  Thing is, I never had that when Rico started kindy one morning a week when he was 2 yrs 5 months old.  He now goes 4 times a week, and it's definitely his 2nd home, and he knows everyone and has plenty of friends there.

 

I think with kindy, they're in a smaller environment, with teachers only a step away from them all the time.  So I felt more comfortable with that.  I know what crap can go on in the school yard, and a lot of the time no teacher is present.  Also Rico is a very timid boy, and if he gets picked on then I don't know how he'd deal with it.  He easily makes friends, but I'm scared he'll make friends with the bullies & they're egg him on to do bad stuff!!  We haven't even been on a school visit yet, so I don't even know what kids will be in his class, or if he'll know/recognise anyone.

 

I've been trying to think of it like - it's a part of life.  We've all had to do it, and we've survived.  I guess though, we have hindsight on our side, we know how bad it can be, but also how good it can be.

 

Rico has been crying at the drop of a hat lately, and I don't know what's going on there with that, so I'm thinking he's going to be the school sook, and he'll get picked on for that!

 

Also some kids at his school, come from a rough side of town I guess, and I know they bring their problems into the school. 

 

Yes I'm freaking out too!

My babies:

R (9),G (7), J (5)

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mum2paris View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mum2paris Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 July 2008 at 1:54pm
Good to know someone sin the same boat (well. you know, not GOOD, but yeah)

Paris is quite slow to warm but once she gets into it she likes to be the leader (aka, bossy sometimes).

I do worry for her though because she's often the one that if something happens - she'll be the first just to stand and burst into tears... so same worry as you really about being picked on... but then she's strong minded too so i haven't a clue.
Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bizzy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 July 2008 at 6:46pm
suck it up and stop being a sooky-elitist-la-la.

before it rubs off on her and it does have an effect!


she will be fine.... and so will you eventually

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote busymum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 July 2008 at 7:37pm
I feel for ya! There's no way that I'm ready for Hannah to go to school and yet, if there were no Christmas school holidays, she'd be "ready" (age-wise) in just 5mos!!!! Talk about freaky, they look so little and like they ought to be dependent on their mummas.

I remember my mum saying something about my first day at school. I just walked up the entrance to the school, and almost forgot to turn around and wave! I was super-confident - not of the people but of being grown up and going to school - and nothing would worry me! I'm sure Paris will be just the same.

And don't worry about the friend thing. I think for the most part, children graviate towards same-sex friendships at that age and she will make friends in time.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 July 2008 at 8:03pm

She will be fine and adapt well! 

Its so exciting when they start school. I was so excited when both my girls started and it just feels like yesterday and yet DD is off to college next year

I am just as anxious as you with letting her into the big bad world. SHe has 130 student at her school if that and next year they have over 2500 students....now thats freaking me out lol

Ooo want pics please of the first day


Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs
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Maya View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Maya Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 July 2008 at 8:28pm
What Mel and Bizzy said! In fact, Bizzy said that exact same thing to me when I was in tears on Maya's first day of school - I'm saving it up for when her boy starts school in a few months and the roles are reversed

Seriously tho, Paris will be fine. Kids are amazingly adaptable and resilient and she will find her place in her new world. I worried about similar things to you when Maya started. We're sending her to one of the top Catholic schools in Auck so most of the parents there are pretty like minded (in fact, I worry about US being the poor, grubby family! ) but one of the first things I noticed when we went for the school visit was that the stuff they were learning was waaaay too basic for Maya. She'd had 2 years of Montessori education and went from that into a classroom with kids who had a huge range of ECE experiences, from public kindy, playcentre, Montessori to nothing at all. But the school are pretty onto it, she moved up to year one fairly quickly and they do regular reading assessments etc. to make sure they are setting them appropriate work.

As for the social side of things, it might help that the classes at Maya's school are really small (10-12 kids) but Maya has pretty much made friends with all the kids in her class, and has a small group of girls that she talks about often. I'm sure Paris will find someone she clicks with, or a group she can relate to, and having the boys from daycare there is a good start, Maya knew no one at all when she started coz she is out of zone.

Best of luck over the next few weeks! Go Paris!
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JD View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JD Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 July 2008 at 11:39pm
Definately suck it up!
Like everyone else said....she will be fine!
I actually found that the diverse situations and less than wonderful behaviours were great for discussions between me and DD. Our time together chatting in bed at the end of the day became just a wee bit more grown up :o)
The worse thing I found with dd starting school was that it was the first experience she had with people being mean to her...I felt heartbroken at first and wanted to throttle the kid that was involved....but once I got over that, I appreciate the chance to teach her some good lessons. Its all part of growing up :-)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Candkids Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 July 2008 at 11:58pm
i was in tears too on sarahs first day at school, and it is hard especially as sarah sounds alot like paris and also sarah just went off and played by herself,
looking back on it now, i was more worried about her making friends instantly than she was!! id get sooooo stupidly upset at the even thought of her playing all alone, but she wasnt (now i realise) as all the 5yr olds HAVE to play on that perticular playground so there were kids all around her playing , it has taken her since the start of the year to warm to school insted of being home with mum tho.
but i did notice that alot (almost all!!) of her issues with school were caused by me, constantly saying
"do you like it????
why not???
are you sure????

i was even going to change her school, but then realised it wouldnt change a dam thing really.
all this also started with a nasty little girl in her class
i was horified that my little girl was hurt.
but like jd said its all part of growing up (unfortunatly)

DD 10.5yrs
DS 6yrs
DS 11mths
5 little angles watching from above
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