baby #2, not excited- bad sign?

Hi everyone,

I had really bad PND and PTSD with my first daughter (I've posted in here before when she was younger) and am, well, about to pop with baby #2!

Is it a bad sign that I'm not excited? At all? Feel bad admitting it but would rather be honest. I think because I'm too anxious about the birth and what it was like after bubs was born (eg hell) last time that its really hard to get excited. This baby was planned and is very loved.

Is it a bad sign that I haven't bonded like I did with DD? And aren't that excited?

Of course I hope that when s/he is here, everything is fine and I'm head over heels with no problems, but after last time of course I'm worried

I hope someone can give some advice

I had a pretty hideous time with my first too, and tbh there was a large component of terror in the anticipation of my second's birth. The first time round there was a bit of fear of the unknown, but terror of the known is definitely worse!!

I was afraid my birth would go terribly again (it didn't, yay!) but much much more afraid that my baby would have reflux and food sensitivities again, and be an appalling sleeper as a result (she does, darn it!). So in part, my fears have been upheld. But you know what? I've lived this before, so I KNOW I can do it. I have way more tricks up my sleeve to make things easier, and I've learnt a lot about my limits and when to ask for help, AND I've learn who the best people to ask for that help from are (nothing like finally braving up to ask for help from someone who is completely useless and just makes you feel worse, eh?). I've got a pretty tricky baby again, but actually, I'm fine. Loving it even, and I certainly didn't the first time.

So even if the fears come true again, this time you or the people around you, will recognise the signs and do something about it sooner than last time. And somehow the whole thing really isn't so bad.

And while it did take me a wee while to warm to number 2 because of the terror, she's a gorgeous little girl, and I love her to bits. And now that I've got to know her a bit, I know that just like her sister, she's so worth all the angst she puts me through

Hopefully some of that helped. I know it's a bit long, but I really feel for you. It's a tough situation.

Hehe ScaredyKat, my first has slept through twice since #2 was born. Part of knowing my limits is that DH usually tends to her. He often ends up sleeping in the spare bed in her room, but if we all get more sleep that way, it'll do for now. I'm also starting out each night with DD2 in the cot (which is sidecarred) and at some stage she ends up in our bed. I get more rest that way and right now, that is what is important.

I hope you get a cruisy wee thing second time round, but you'll be ok if you don't

I had this reaction while pregnant with my third, as I'd had terrible PND with my second (major colic etc) but luckily things were easier with that baby, and I did bond with him well (unlike with my second son)

Take it easy, I hope everything works out well.

ETA - Just reading that nothing helped you last time, how did you get through it??

Edited by Free2BeMe

Mummy2B. I hate PND too. Had it with #1 and now have it again with #2. Tried lots of things to stop it happening but it has still reared its ugly head. On meds and while they were working I seem to be having a few bads days again at the moment (like today). To make matters worse we have just found out he is dairy intolerant like his sister was and the decision was made to stop BFing and put him onto the proper formula. I thought I was okay with this decision but it is now breaking my heart. I really just wanted to let you know I know how you feel and what you are going through. Hope you are feeling better soon and if you want to talk at all PM me

oscarboo hope you are feeling better now about the formula thing. you're doing what's best for him and what he needs :-) What one is he one? How did you know it was dairy intolerance?

thanks Kellz. It blardy sucks, I'm so guttered especially with everything we did to try make sure things went better this time. I guess it really is something we can't always control ( ) Baby is 9 1/2 weeks now. She has reflux though so OMG feels like 9 1/2 years lol...