16 month old problems

About 3 weeks ago my DD woke from a daytime nap screaming. The next day we discovered a new tooth. Over the next week we spotted 2 more teeth so she now has 7 teeth in total (all at front). She got her first tooth at 9 months and weekly after that until the front 4 were out but then nothing until now. No tears from the first 4 teeth either.

Since this episode she has refused to have daytime naps (unless she falls asleep on me in the afternoons from being exhausted) and won't go to sleep in the evenings without being rocked to sleep. We never had issues with her self settling and up until this she would happily sleep for 4 hours daytime and from 7pm to 7am without any tears (since about 8 months).

We've not changed anything in her routine (dinner, bath, bottle & In The Night Garden!) which used to be a signal for calming down in the evenings but she just screams the minute we put her in her cot - day or night.

I don't like the idea of her crying herself to sleep (it goes against my natural instinct). I'm also 25 weeks pregnant so it's back breaking. She isn't walking yet either so I pick her up a lot during the day.

My biggest concern is that she will learn that crying gets her own way and that she won't self-settle anymore. We've never had issues with tantrums either....is this the beginning of the end?!!! I want my little girl back!

Any ideas on what to do? Anyone else having similar problems?

how long has it been going on? is it just the three weeks? Is she with anyone else (day care or grandparents) and if so is it the same there or not?

I think sometimes I get too stressed about something that's happening when really, it's only a phase and before you know it, things have changed again.

If she is teething, then the next ones to come might be the eye teeth, which are quite painful. Have you tried giving a little bit of pamol or something a little while before bed?

How does she sleep once she has gone to sleep? Like Hadlam said - is it possible to wean her off the rocking in little steps?

Has she seen her GP - definitely nothing like an ear infection or anything?

Could you try putting her to bed during the day somewhere else? Have you got a single bed you could use? My DD used to sleep on the single bed in her room sometimes instead of in her cot for day sleeps.

Also, this sounds like a silly question but have you had her ears checked? Ears always feel worse when you are lying down, especially if there is fluid behind the ear drum. Sore teeth can also make ears feel sore so maybe you could try some pamol half an hour before bed so you know for certain she's not in pain when you put her down for a sleep.

If you put her to bed and she cries you could try sitting in the room with her till she falls asleep. That worked sometimes with my DD - I didn't look at or talk to her just sat there and sometimes just that seemed to comfort her and she would (eventually) fall asleep.

lisame wrote: yeah that's why I asked about an ear infection too. Has she been to the GP? Does she ever sleep in a sleeping bag or anything? It does sound like she's developed a real aversion to her cot for some reason - maybe because she's been bored, or left to cry there? Can you try putting her to bed somewhere else & then gradually get back in the cot? Is there something you could put in the cot with her so that she could just have some fun time in there without getting upset? Toys or books? Even if she just goes in her cot for a bit of quiet time and doesn't sleep - just to get her used to being happy in the cot again.

Thanks again for all the suggestions. We were at the doc this morning so I asked if her ears could be checked and they were both fine. I'm pleased I asked just to put my mind at rest and know it wasn't that.

I'm certain that it's teething now. We've been giving her calpol (child paracetamol from the uk that came with us) in the evenings but it doesn't seem to make much difference. I also got some bonjella yesterday but unsurprisingly she doesn't like it...then again, neither do I!

I think you're right about the cot aversion too. I wish that it was simple enough for her to have happy time in there but the minute we put her in there (sitting, lying down or standing) she starts screaming so we always end up getting her out again. We've also always used a sleeping bag for bedtime but she can still stand in them. She's always had her blankies in bed with her and used to play with them but since learning to stand she ignores them.

I'm still hoping it's a phase and we'll get back to normal soon but having found a thread somewhere else about canine teeth coming through and that it can last for 5 months I'm preparing myself for some sleepless nights!

Thanks again for the suggestions...I'll give them a go and let you know if they work. Fingers croosed!

another idea that worked for us was to get rid of the cot and put DD on the floor. Lol sounds extreme but if you google 'Montosorri floor bed' alot of info will come up.

To this day I have no idea why our DD started refusing to sleep in her cot but at 12 months we had a similar reaction to you, screaming and crying whenever we tried to put her in the cot and waking at night and screaming to be lifted out of the cot. We tried sitting in her room with her while she screamed but it never seemed to work and she would calm down as soon as we got her out, so I googled some alternatives and came up with the floor bed.

One sunday afternoon, we figured we would try it as it couldn't get much worse so we rearranged her room so that it was completely baby proof and put her cot mattress on the floor to trial it. I figured it would take a few weeks to work maybe, but that night she went to bed without much trouble. We would lie next to her on the floor for a few minutes until she drifted off initially and then progressed to where we would say goodnight and shut the door. A couple of times she would get up to play with her books or toys but everytime she would crawl back to her bed to go to sleep usually within 10 mins or so.

Anyway, just another idea if you are still struggling with her in the cot. I'm sure the floor bed wouldn't work for everyone but it worked for us :-)

Thanks for the message CJsays. She's still pretty much the same. I've been really lucky up to now as my husband has been home in the evenings to take over the bedtime routine - I'm on my own this week so gonna have to take her on all by myself! He has been told to not be surprised if he comes in and finds her asleep in bed with me! I'm breaking pretty much EVERY child sleep expert's advice going but I'll do anything for an easy life!

Thanks for the message SophieD - taking the mattress out is something that I've thought about but I'm just not sure that she's ready for it....she's the sort of child that'll crawl to the door and start banging and shouting to be let out in the morning so at least if she wakes in her cot in the morning (or night) she's still safe without me opening the door and knocking her out! Defo something that I'll keep in mind for a bit later though. Thanks for the recommendation.

In desperation last week I've booked a place at a creche for her - to exhaust her during the day so she WANTS to go to bed in the evening!!! As a sahm I didn't want to book her into a creche but I really do feel like she needs the interaction with lots of kiddies (rather than the few we see each week at playgroup) and I need some time too.

It's still so hard to explain what's going on. IF she goes straight in to her cot she'll scream (even if she's tired) so we'll rock or cuddle her to sleep in a darkened room on shoulders but she'll sleep through now (which is better than we had a week or so ago). She still won't sleep during the day unless she's on me (or in the car) - but it's also quite nice to have an hour of quiet to just play on the laptop whilst sitting down. We've also moved bedtime to an hour later which seems to have helped (even if she doesn't nap during the day or has just the hour).

It's not ideal but I think we've adjusted to the new routine that she's set for herself. I'm still hoping that she'll want to go to bed after creche though...!

Also - no sign of any new teeth so who knows what caused it!

oh and also ... you wont want to hear this but DD took FOUR MONTHS to get her first 4 molers and for AGES nothing was showing and I had no idea what was up! They all popped through finally in the last month

It's very common for our little ones to change on us suddenly and become something we didn't see coming!!! It takes a while to adjust when we had banked on having a good, sleeping child. It may be as "smallchap" said and she will go back to her usual routine eventually once painful teeth have come through, or it may be that she develops a new routine based on the comfort you've had to give her to settle.

I always suggest that parents give the comfort and security a child needs when she's in pain or if she is remembering something painful. But there comes a time when that episode is over and parents have to retrain their child that it's ok to be in bed and sleep is a good thing and that mummy and daddy are not far away etc. Once the teething time has settled if she hasn't returned to her routine, I would suggest retraining her to sleep in her bed while at the same time, providing her with the security and reassurance she needs emotionally.