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Having a 2nd kid when 1st kid has special needs

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lebi265346 View Drop Down

Joined: 13 October 2020
Points: 2
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    Posted: 13 October 2020 at 12:43pm
My daughter (1st kid) was born in March and has Turner Syndrome. We've spent 3 of the last almost 6 months in the hospital, and she's had surgery to fix her aortic coarctation and 2 kidney surgeries for urethral reimplantation, vesicostomy and a urethral stent. Plus 7 bladder infections that almost all needed IV antibiotics. We're now looking at another surgery in a couple weeks for a ureterostomy and a full reconstruction at 18-24 months with a mitrofanoff. All that to say that it's been a rough few months for first time parents.

For context, Turners is different for every girl. We already know she has heart and kidney abnormalities, but in the coming years she could have more physical or developmental challenges, or she could have nothing. Beyond all the early intervention can do, it's a waiting game.

My wife still wants to have another kid in the next few years. We always planned on 2-3 kids. With all the complications we have had and the ones still coming, I can't even think about another kid. I love my daughter with all my heart, and I can't picture focusing on her health challenges while bringing another baby into the picture.

So my questions to the group:

To parents who had second kids following a child with special needs, what has your experience been like?

To parents who stopped at one, how did you decide or have that conversation?

Edited by lebi265346 - 15 October 2020 at 8:53am
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