HELP 16 mth old challenging times

For the pram your options as I see it are

A) get a harness for him. You might get a few looks but he will have a bit more freedom than holding your hand. IMO they are no different from strapping them into a pram. The only difference is in the pram they are sitting down.

B) If he wants to be carried I would try a carrier like an ergo or manduca. He can then go on your back and his weight will be evenly distributed. I can carry DD for ages in my manduca she is 10kg, the carrier is rated up until 20kg. Bonus will be that you can use it after your new baby arrives for both of them.

C) persevere with the pram so he knows that there is no option. If it's one that faces away from you it could be worth trying one where he can see you. DD went though a stage for about 2 months where she fought being put in the pram and in the carseat. She hated it, if I wanted her in the pram/car I insisted and left her there despite her protest she soon learnt that she didn't have a choice. Although I tended to carry her more than use the pram during this time.

Playing games like peek a boo, and find mummy help the separation things. I would tell him that you are leaving the room and ask if he wants to come. I do this with DD and if I hear her grizzle after I have gone I call out to her and she will often come and find me. It will pass extra cuddles will help too I would imagine.

If he is upset at activities I would sit with him until he feels comfortable and ready to move off and join in. Or have a break from them for a couple of weeks and try again when he is a bit more settled.

HTH

I too have a challenging 16 month old! Car seat tantrums as I try to strap him in, tantrums at nappy change time, tantrums basically anytime he can't get his own way!! I try to see it that perhaps the positive will be that he will get it out of this system before our no.2 arrives in a few months time....wishful thinking?!? And this too shall pass.....

Thanks everyone for the very helpful advice.

We will take a break from some activites this week and I'm not going to give up on shopping. I'll just have to be confident and try and put up with him grizzling for a while in the pram. Eventually he might get it...

Thanks again

Good luck!

I forgot to add to my novel .... I would take a break from some of the activities if you're both not happy going, but keep doing something -- and when you go just let him cling to you and don't get stressed or worry about what anyone else thinks. Just let him observe and when hes completely comfortable he will start participating. This may take a matter of minutes, or weeks, but just perservere til hes comfortable enough to join in.

I've learnt over the last few days is to involve him in everything! When shopping it helps to always talk to him, point things out and get him to hold items. I usually go shopping with a friend and most of the time it's us gossiping and not alot of attention on him. This must be very frustrating for him, but I need adult conversation. I will have to try my hardest to include him.

Also at home, if he's going to follow me around all day I might as well get him to help out. He loved putting all the toilet rolls in the cupboard, getting nappies and helping with washing today.

Definately pays to just step back and relax and think about whats going to work best for everyone.

Thanks again for all the helpful tips.

I know what you mean about crackers in the car seat... I always said I would never let my children eat in the car, pram or anywhere else except the highchair. Mainly because I was a clean freak and didn't think it was safe to have them eating while I'm driving. Oh how quickly that changed :-)

Sez25 - I LOVE your ideas of getting him to help out in the easy jobs at home. i was just imagining him toddling along beside you and stacking the toilet rolls away for you! Great stuff. Think I will try more of this too.

We got a baby leash thing the other week. So far my DS just sits down and won't move like one of those stubborn dogs you sometimes see so not sure it will be successful but I think that despite this and other people's opinions on them, safety has to be no.1.

Just to add my thoughts, I found 18 months a hard age, bit between not really sure what they want but really wanting you a lot, it does pass, it will be a phase.

Sounds like you are doing an awesome job, I found at that age he was hard work going somewhere and it made outings tricky so i cut back or just made sure I went at his pace

DS was the same getting him involved talking to them is great, he is far more independent now and i've not changed he is just a bit older and a bit more sure of himself.

Distraction works a treat when I am trying to do something I know he is not keen on, I talking super enthusiastically about things we can see what is going on.

I have commented many times as he gets older why oh why did I think a newborn was hard