How many of you have toddlers that

self settle at bedtime (without CC or CIO)? And do they have sleep "aids" like dummies or cuddlies etc?

It is a VERY long story so I won't give all the details but bedtimes here are a nightmare. I have to put Ben down and 99% of the time Jack as well. Jack avoids sleep as best he can. With quite a bit of heartache a month or so ago we "weaned" off me having to sit and hold his hand to go to sleep and I managed to move to folding the washing outside his bedroom door. Anyway I am trying to move to the next step of him just seeing me walk past while I do chores but he won't have a bar of it.

Am I expecting too much to have him self settle? He is a very affectionate boy who loves being close to us and we have recently (over the last 4+mths) had separation anxiety issues.

Jody also is happy to self settle, she has her glow worm with her.
The only time when we did have some problems was a few months ago. I sat in the dark with her humming until she fell asleep, then after a few nights I just hummed until she was sleepy. She just got over it for some reason.
I always have to keep her door closed though, if she saw me walking past her room she would not be impressed if I didn't go in and get her up!

haha Tishy

Got a self settler here, too.
She has her "shiny" (a woollen blanket with a satin edging) and a small soft dog.

I don't think you're expecting too much at all
Just by moving to the bedroom door to do things is a big step, I think. Keep it up and you'll get there

eden self settles but sometimes if she isnt ready she will scream the house down and we get her up. she either then just sits with us for cuddles or has a bf then we put her back to bed and she is generally fine. no special cuddly here. I dont walk past her door tho cause she would want to get up. and we leave the door open.

Caden will self settle, but most of the time it takes him ages, he often plays in his room(god knows what he plays with though as I take all his toys out before bedtime!).
If I hang around in his room it makes him worse and when I do leave the room he has a melt down(but it only lasts a min or so). I shut his door and leave him to it.

OK now I am thoroughly depressed! I thought it was just everyone I know that has self-settlers, not everyone else as well.

If we close the door Jack freaks out, if we walk past he gets upset, if we don't walk past he gets upset! He has only ever self settled for a month or so early last year. He does seem to be, fo lack of a better term, a Mummy's boy and does like to keep both of us close.

Well I think I will go back to folding washing in the hall for a while longer, at least I am not waiting 30mins+ for him to go to sleep while I hold his hand and think of all the jobs I have to do. Maybe we will try to move to the next step in a little while

Lauren has never self settled (she gets herself back to sleep in the night, but can't get herself to sleep in the first place). I still feed her to sleep because its literally the only way to get her to go to sleep - she is very very resistant and always has been. It's a bit of a nightmare, and I'm trying to get her to learn to self settle before the new baby comes because I don't know if I'll have the chance to feed her to sleep then (mind you, its just one nap a day and night time now). If I don't feed her to sleep she will eventually (and I mean after two hours of crying and being terribly upset even though I am right there with her) be so exhausted that she falls asleep, but she never stays there for long when it happens that way. She is a very cuddly child, and when it comes down to it I just can't hack the crying, it upsets me as much as it does her - it's tended to be much quicker to give her a ten minute feed and be done with it! lol

So you're definitely not alone. Some kids just seem to really struggle - Lauren would be up all day if I didn't help her get to sleep, hell she won't even fall asleep in the car or push chair! I'm sure it gets better, just hang in there for now.

Sam self settles, but sometimes he will talk and sing away for an hour or so before giving in.   There is literally nothing in his room anymore because he destroys things and uses anything he can to climb on to get out.    He has a soft toy reindeer that he has in his bed, but he stuffs it in between the mattress and the plastic (his bed is a racecar) before he goes to sleep so he doesn't really cuddle it much.

We don't have a self settler here. I sit next to the cot and let her play with my hair until she goes to sleep. I've tried CC, and what a horrid experiance that was! Never again. Her daddy can't put her to bed at all. Naps are a different story - she often just goes to sleep when it suits her for a nap. During the night, she self settles about 50% of the time if she wakes. I think it's one of those things those of us with sleep issues in a toddler don't want to admit to because we feel like the only one, and a bit of a failure.

My 2 year old is a pretty good sleeper too & she doesn't fuss when we put her to bed.. We try and stick to the same routine as it works well. A drink, book then bed. She has two Muslin cloths she's very attached too, along with her fave teddies all in bed with her (they all have to have kisses from mummy too ). She usually waves and blows us kisses as we leave the room. Can take 20 mins or so, but works for us.

Sounds like you're on the right track. Good luck!

Edited by kabe