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Ceres 
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Joined: 17 December 2008
Location: Auckland
Points: 1328
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 Posted: 09 October 2009 at 3:02pm |
ellecheza massive hugs  , I can't even begin to imagine how you're feeling right now, but just wanted to say that I'm thinking of you and hoping that things work out okay. Hopefully after he's had some time to think you'll be able to have a good chat to try and resolve some things. Perhaps seeing a relationship councillor might be a good first step. Sending lots of positive thoughts!
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Millyz
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Joined: 21 January 2009
Location: Wellington
Points: 447
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Posted: 09 October 2009 at 3:14pm |
Just wanted to add that I'm so sorry to hear that too ellecheza, that must be very difficult. I definitely think it would be worth thinking about family/relationship counselling, ideally together or separately if that's the only option. You can get up to six (I think?) free counselling sessions through the family court.
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tarns
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Joined: 28 September 2008
Location: Milton
Points: 3362
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Posted: 09 October 2009 at 3:14pm |
Ellecheza....so sorry to hear things aren't so good with you and right after your exciting BFP hun....and as Emmi said...if you need to vent we are all here for you.
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freckle
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Joined: 03 December 2008
Points: 4773
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Posted: 09 October 2009 at 3:46pm |
Ellecheza I'm soooo sorry to hear that  You poor thing after getting such exciting and long awaited news... I really hope things work out for you... With my DD1 my partner at the time broke up with me 5 days before we found out I was pg, over the next few months we managed to sort things out and got back together before DD1 was born. I remember how hard it was thinking about doing it alone and being happy about baby but then so sad at the same time... I really hope you guys manage to sort things out... look after yourself, you will get through it either way and you will have a lovely wee baby 
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mum to 3 lovely girls :D
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millysmum
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Joined: 10 February 2009
Location: Auckland
Points: 713
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Posted: 10 October 2009 at 1:21pm |
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Thanks everyone for you kind words. I have suggested relationship counselling and he doesn't even want to give it a try. He said why try when he knows it won't work? He also said he'll end up resenting me and baby if he stays. I really don't know where any of this came from. He has been working lots and is stressed from it but I have been here the whole time. I don't understand the not trying bit and I just feel like a complete loser.
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Emmi_
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Joined: 14 May 2009
Location: Wellington
Points: 8176
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Posted: 10 October 2009 at 1:35pm |
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OOhhhhh Ellecheza, your NOT a complete loser!! TBH if he is saying that he doesnt want to try as he knows it wont work it sounds like hes not willing to put in the time and effort that a relationship takes and its better to get out of it now rather than later. As hard as it will be...
I hope you have family and friends around you now to support you??
You will be an awesome mum, and partner/wife to someone else, someone who deserves you and who you deserve. Someone who will love you and bubs unconditionally and will put the effort into your relationship.
Sending you big positive hugs hun, you can do this.
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millysmum
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Joined: 10 February 2009
Location: Auckland
Points: 713
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Posted: 10 October 2009 at 6:56pm |
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thanks emmi. That means so much. I still feel like I have been hit by a truck and have no idea what to do. I guess it will just take time. I'm excited I have y first scan on tues!! Yay! He said he wants to come but i'm not sure. What do you think?
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mollymoo
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Joined: 09 May 2009
Points: 1906
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Posted: 10 October 2009 at 7:15pm |
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ellcheza, what an emotional rollercoaster you must be on. i hope that you have lots of support. i think you still need to include him in the scans etc, he will still be your bubs father. has he said he wants to be involved in the babies life? all the best through this really tricky time.
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Emmi_
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Joined: 14 May 2009
Location: Wellington
Points: 8176
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Posted: 11 October 2009 at 11:10am |
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I think if he offers then let him, at least for the first one and see how things go from there? If he acts like an ass then dont let him come to the next one, but I think you have to give him one shot, even if its for him to hang himself. Also you never know what hes going to do or think when he sees the HB... I know it totally melted my DHs heart and it was just a little blob! So if he is willing to give it a go then he might just turn out to be a good father even if hes not a good partner... GL hun and KUP!
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Shezzey
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Joined: 24 January 2009
Location: Swanson, West Auckland
Points: 4719
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Posted: 11 October 2009 at 2:05pm |
Hi Ellecheza.... I am so sorry that you have been so let down by your DP and his timing is so wrong. Maybe he is feeling so stressed from work that he feels that this is an added stress and cannot see what it is... a reason to be happy. I think give him a wide berth and if he wants to participate let him and he might come to his senses and look forward to this new phase in his life.
I am proud of you for perservering and finally getting your BFP and you are an inspiration for me to keep ttc'ing. You must be sooo excited for the scan on Tuesday and let bubs be a reason for you to keep smiling
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millysmum
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Joined: 10 February 2009
Location: Auckland
Points: 713
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Posted: 21 October 2009 at 6:19pm |
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thanks Shezzey. DP is finally talking! Hoping for something good to come out of it all. Baby is the best but would like to have a family.
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jem
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Joined: 13 February 2009
Points: 575
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Posted: 22 October 2009 at 1:49pm |
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yay good to hear that you and DP are now talking and that bubs is all good.
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Shezzey
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Joined: 24 January 2009
Location: Swanson, West Auckland
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Posted: 22 October 2009 at 11:03pm |
Ellecheza... that must be relief that he is communicating now. Did he go to the scan?
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Emmi_
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Location: Wellington
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Posted: 23 October 2009 at 5:27pm |
Glad to hear he is talking to you now, I hope you can work things out and be happy again  Just remember though that you will do just fine with out him, so dont feel like you have to get back with him (if he decides that thats what he wants). I hope everything works out though, and am here if you need!!
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