In home childcare

I send Emma Rose to a PORSE caregiver's home. She's been going to her since she was 8 months old. She started out there two afternoons a week, and now she usually goes two days a week, but she's gone for the occasional full week when I've had lots of work on.

My PORSE carer is amazing. I was reluctant at first, for all the reasons mentioned above -- not knowing her personally, not being sure about someone else driving my kid around, not knowing what was going on all day long. But I'm a big believer in instinct, and Emma Rose's carer gives me very good vibes. I did check references, and I spent two hours with her before committing Emma Rose to staying with her -- an hour on my own, where I grilled her about all kinds of things, from discipline to safety to emergency management -- and an hour with Em there, to see how she interacted with her and the other kids. What I saw convinced me that the carer was The One. I've never regretted sending Em to her.

I think the success of in-home childcare depends largely on the parents' relationships with the caregiver. I've always been really clear about my expectations with regards to my child, and Em's carer has always been really clear about what she expects from us. I love that Em goes to her. The carer treats my child like her own child, and that is something I want. I worked in a daycare centre when I was at uni, and I hated not being able to cuddle the children, having a regimented schedule of feeding and toileting and structured play, and not having one-on-one time with them. My desire with Em's care is for her to be in a home-like environment where she can be herself, make a mess, explore, and have the consistency of seeing the same caregiver and the same kids every time she goes.

I think that childcare has to meet your needs and your expectations, and that's why PORSE and in-home care works for some people but doesn't work for others. Ask lots of questions, interview them, and spend time with them to see how closely their philosophies conform to yours.