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WigglesFan
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Topic: Its moments like these you need Minties! Posted: 08 April 2008 at 12:23pm |
On Sunday night DH and I were at the Ming Court at Sky City for a 12 course banquet to celebrate the wedding of the eldest son of close friends.
Now I don't know how many of you have been to Sky City, but as you can imagine it isn't exactly designed with children in mind. And while we had a babysitter for the older two, I had to bring my 3 month old baby with me as he is breastfeeding.
So around about the 4th course baby woke up and decided that he could use a snack. The restaurant was very busy and the whole place was extremely loud - so I decided to take a little wander and see if I could find a quiet corner with a comfy chair.
This was actually a lot harder than I expected. This is a casino, with umpteen bars. Quiet has not previously been included in the vocabulary of those describing it.
After being turned away from several parts of the casino because my infant is too young to drink hard spirits and gamble, I eventually managed to find a permissible route that bypassed all the perils to my young son's character and morals. This led me to the theatre end of the casino where I found a large and deserted foyer with seats.
So I sat down and proceeded to try and feed baby. By this time though he was so stimulated by the lights, noises and sights that we had passed that he wanted to party, not dine. Every time I tried to bring his head down for feeding he would press his feet against the side of the chair and his head would shoot past me.
Okay, I can sort this one out, cheeky monkey! Mummy has a few years and a lot of experience on you, sunshine!
So I got down onto the floor and sat with him across my lap where he would have nowhere to brace himself against. But do you think he would feed? NO! He was more interested in gurgling, chortling and shrieking - did I mention that there was a bit of an echo? Fun stuff!
Well, I thought, perhaps he is a little overheated. So I decided to strip him down to his nappy - this always got my middle son feeding well. In fact it works with most males - strip them off and put them in front of a breast and they immediately start paying attention.
But not this boy. He sucked enough only to start my letdown reflex. Which, for those of you who are still blissfully ignorant of the more bizzare aspects of breast feeding, this is when your breast fills up with milk which is then propelled at some force out the milk ducts forming a perfect arc up to several feet in distance.
So I am sitting there on the carpet in front of a row of seats, dressed up to the nines, with a semi naked child squirming and shrieking on my lap, one breast bare and milk gushing in a stunning arc out across the foyer.
And at that very moment three young people came charging round the corner, through the foyer until they laid eyes on the spectacle in front of them. At which point they stopped and gawped! Then continued rushing through the foyer - but now they were cracking up with laughter at the tops of their voices.
Unfortunately the ground refused to open up and swallow me so I was forced to admit defeat, cover myself and baby up again and slink back off to the dinner.
Edited by WigglesFan
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MrsMojo
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Location: Wellington
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 12:37pm |
ROFLMAO! I've read twice now and it's cracked me up both times.
We could video it and offer it as an alternative form of contraception - if you don't want to end up like this don't have sex! LOL.
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WigglesFan
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 12:40pm |
MrsMojo wrote:
ROFLMAO! I've read twice now and it's cracked me up both times.
We could video it and offer it as an alternative form of contraception - if you don't want to end up like this don't have sex! LOL.  |
PMSL! You think I should volunteer to go into high schools and repeat the experience? It could bring down the teen pregnancy rate drastically! lol!
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Neeks
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 12:53pm |
LOL Oh the joys of having kids!!!
You should be a writer... that was brilliant
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Roksana
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 1:24pm |
LMAO ...you are good!!
Yes I know the whole spray in an arch situation very well......That was some experience.
Thats why I never went out with Zaara....LOL
Did you end up having a good night tho??
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WigglesFan
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 2:44pm |
We had a lovely evening thanks!
Though the mother of the groom, who is a midwife, commented that bubs seemed a little dehydrated!
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Roksana
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 3:29pm |
OH NO....Bubs fault tho!! LOL
Well I  you for being enough to venture out with a small bub....I am too scared to. Now even worse because she wont sit still for two seconds!! OH When does is it get better??
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WigglesFan
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 3:58pm |
Roksana wrote:
OH When does is it get better??  |
It does get better. By the time he was about four our eldest was a delight to take out.
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Roksana
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 4:22pm |
THANKS
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Bombshell
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 4:25pm |
LOL those same teens are the ones who later that night got trashed, gambled too much, ended up in someone elses bed and was either off seeing someone for the morning after pill or will be on a forum in a month or so saying OMG could I be pregnant?
ahhh karma - it will come back to them...no need for the ground to swallow you up! I used to give people THE EYE....ground then swallowed them up for looking! LOL
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.Mel
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 4:26pm |
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Mr Mellow (16)
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james
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 5:30pm |
hahahahahahaha thats sooo funny
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<a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a>
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fattartsrock
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 8:30pm |
Choice!!!!
(and well writen by the way!)
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The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P
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Jessica
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 8:42pm |
Don't you love it when your letdown is huge, always seems to be at inopportune moments!
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Our con-joined boys 20 wk
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emz
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 11:18pm |
hahahaha! That was brilliant! My friend managed to accidentally squirt a lady on the back one day at a cafe. I don't think the lady knew, but we were peeing ourselves laughing (which isn't good with postnatal pelvic floor muscles  )
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WigglesFan
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Posted: 09 April 2008 at 1:22pm |
I always have the killer let-down from hell - the kind that can soak the front of your shirt in two seconds flat if not contained by breast pads. This most often occurs when I have rushed out of the house to get the oldest to school and am standing in the playground chatting to the principal or something. He must think that I am very shy because I often seem to adopt a defensive posture of arms tightly crossed across my chest. pmsl!
A couple of weeks back we were at chuch and bubs needed a feed so I discretely positioned him and he latched on. But then (blimmin typical for this wee toad) he pulled off once let down occurred and an arc of milk sprayed out across the pew and I heard the person behind me gasp in absolute shock! Kids are very very bad for your dignity!
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