Latching problems?

Hi,

My little girl is 3 weeks old tomorrow, and I'm STILL having trouble with latching her onto the breast.
I'm just wondering, has anyone else taken this long to get it worked out? Feeling kinda useless at the moment, since when I saw the lactation consultant she was able to get her latched on perfectly, but there is just something that I'm doing wrong when I try. It's frustrating!

Due to the incorrect latching, my nipples have been taking a bit of abuse...and because of this I started expressing (using my Avent manual) for a few days.
Unfortunately she started to prefer the bottle over the boob for a while there, but with perseverance I've managed to get her taking the boob happily again, but I'm too scared to keep taking her on and off to get the latch right (which just ain't happening anyway!) because she gets frustrated with that and gets too agitated to even want it anymore. I guess that's why she started to like the bottle, there wasn't any mucking about with it.
Obviously this means my nipples are starting to get sore all over again (ugh).
The upside is that I do know my baby is getting enough milk, she is gaining weight and having plenty of wet and dirty nappies so I don't have THAT to worry about. It's just my own discomfort and frustration that is the problem.

I'm not posting to ask for advice as such, since I know no-one online can help latch my baby onto me but I'm hoping someone will have experienced this and eventually managed to get it all going well in the end...I feel so useless, no-one I know has taken more than a week or so to learn how to latch their baby properly.
I have an appt to see the lactation consultant again tomorrow, I'm hoping she will be able to spot what I'm doing wrong. I have been tempted to switch her to just expressed milk (mostly in the middle of the night when I'm tired and feeling sorry for myself), but I really do want to breast-feed the 'normal' way, and I'm just not ready to give up on it yet.
Please,someone say that they had issues with getting the baby onto the boob properly but that they did learn how! It seems like I'm never going to be able to work it out.

Another question, is it normal for babies around 2-3 weeks to want to cluster feed all day? My girl did this for a few days, and has just settled back to 3 hourly feeds in the last 24 hours. Could it have been a growth spurt, or way of increasing my milk...?

Thanks, sorry for the enormously long post.

Wow, just realised how much of a pity party my post sounded lol. It's not so bad, really. Just painful.
My little girl is healthy and gaining weight and I have plenty of milk so I'm lucky]...but apparently just a slow learner haha.

Our feeding didn't seyyle down till 7 weeks, I remember the MW saying when I was about the same stage you are now "just get to 8 weeks it will all come right " man that felt like the longest time and I was in so much pain, I was getting to the point of giving up............but I didn't and he now feeds wonderfully, so hang in there I know how really hard it is.

I also did the rugby hold for about 6 weeks, found it so much easier to control his head when he was really little, then swapped to the normal postion later.

In one week I saw 2 different MW, plunket and a LC at the hospital, they all said he was latching perfectly and none could see any reason why I was in so much pain,( hang on to the carpet with my toes pain!!!)

Have also read somewhere that it takes 6 weeks for BFing to 'become learned' by both sides so don't be too hard on yourself, i'm sure you are doing a great job (even if you don't think so remember baby is doing really well so you must be)

Awww didnt sound like a pity party at all just a tired Mummy wanting some support and you came to the right place xxx

Took us about 4 weeks or so to be pretty comfortable with feeding, the first few weeks were blardy hard work. We also did the rugby hold on the left boob as I couldnt get the craddle hold / latch right for a long long time, then one day it just clicked!!! I used a firm feeding pillow, still use it now at 5mths, helped support baby's weight so I could concentrate on the latch in the early days. I cant remember exact details but only that it was hard, took us both a while to learn and for it to become enjoyable so that is reassuring I would say, in that we were the same as you and now 5mths on we are both experts and really enjoy the breastfeeding experience.

The cluster feeding is totally normal, baby is still such a wee poppet that I would say feeding on demand makes good sense. Soon enough she'll work her way up to a 3hr feed routine, Hayden put himself on a 4hr routine at around 12 weeks and slept through from 16weeks.

I found it good to position baby ready for feed then take a deep calming breath and recite/remember the key things like 'nose to nipple' 'tummy to mummy' 'open wide' etc If I was tense as I tried to latch him it usually wasnt particularly successful. I did the nipple squeeze/stuff into baby's mouth for a while too to make sure he got a good mouthful.

Lying down is so my fave way to feed! It seems harder to feed that way with sheilds for some reason, for me anyway. But it's so nice to get snuggly with your bubba
I hope the LC helped a lot

Thanks for all responses. Much as I wouldn't wish breast-feeding problems on anyone else, it's nice knowing I'm not the only one who didn't 'get it' straight away.

Appointment with the lactation consultant went pretty well, she actually said I was mostly doing everything right...but my baby has a small chin? Apparently that's why she is slipping out of the correct position, because the whole chin first thing doesn't happen and the breast slips down and she isn't getting the full mouthful (hence the pain).
She showed me a new way of feeding her, which is more suited to her and isn't exactly like how most people would feed...though mostly it's just her position that needed to change.
Lactation consultant also noticed that I still have a tendency to bring the breast to baby when I'm having trouble...which is completely true, I had noticed myself a few times that I was doing that when I was tense and having trouble relaxing.

Anyway, I've been trying her suggestions, and for the most part it seems better...I've noticed my nipples aren't get all out of shape anymore so I guess that's a sign that it's a definite improvement. The way of holding her still doesn't feel very natural, I don't feel like I have much control...but I just need to practise and get used to it.
I'm hoping once my nipples heal up a bit more that the discomfort will be a lot less.

Thanks for all your comments.

I remember at 3 weeks, I was cracked and sore (1 nipple was bleeding), and I just kept promising my daughter I'd do it for 1 more day. At about that point it was my mum who pointed out that all the advice I was being given on latching was for ladies with forward facing nipples and as mine are sort of pointing outwards, i tried just holding her with her head in my elbow (not on my forearm like I was "supposed" to hold her) so that she could get to all of my nipple and it all sort of fell into place. Hurt like the beejee's for about another week but with her feeding well and some Palmer's nursing cream after every feed and changing my breast pads often they healed really well and I'm still feeding 5 months later...

Finally got a 'proper' latch on this afternoon...was a bit sore for the first 15 seconds or so, but it was definetely a much better latch on than I was getting!

The feed after that didn't go quite so well, but that was on the right side and I've always found that the hardest side, possibly because I have to use my left hand to hold her and I'm not very confident with my left hand...but I feel a bit more hopeful that I might get the hang of it eventually.

Yay, thanks to all!