Leaving him to cry ...

Hi again,

I'm sorry to post again, but I had another question. Our son is settling well after about 20 minutes of crying, is this too long to leave a two week old baby? We do check on him to make sure he doesn't have wind / need feeding / is too hot / is too cold.

Thanks for your help.

Personally, I wouldn't leave a newborn to cry at all - they're so fresh out of the womb everything is new and unsettling.   I guess it depends on what you consider crying though - whether it's just a bit of noise or full-on screaming. Not really much help though, sorry. Just do what feels right.

Thanks for the suggestions! I am going into the nursery and patting him and singing quietly to him. He settles while I'm there and will begin crying again when I leave the room. Today he was awake from 9.30am til around midday.

monster wrote: Personally, I wouldn't leave a newborn to cry at all - they're so fresh out of the womb everything is new and unsettling.   I guess it depends on what you consider crying though - whether it's just a bit of noise or full-on screaming. Not really much help though, sorry. Just do what feels right.

I agree. Personally I don't leave Jack to cry at all, he is rocked to sleep which I quite enjoy - I am not a fan of CC or CIO.
If you are worried about "forming bad habits" then apparently babies don't form definate sleep associations til about 4 months.

Crying is his only way of communicating,..at this age he is just learning what the world is about. He needs to know u will be there to cater for his every need! Slings are a great idea, he gets to feel close to you and be coforted by your heart beat and warmth, and u can still move about and use your hands for other stuff!

Im sure plunket etc dont recommend leaving bubs to cry til at least 4 months.

back in my mothers day they were told to never leave a baby, especially boys, cry for more than ten minutes because of the risk of giving them a hernia...

I wouldn't leave a 2 week old baby to cry - in fact I hardly leave Gina to cry ever and she's almost 14 months. I think babies/toddlers need to know you're there for them and being there when they need you is really important to me

I couldnt even let Issy cry for 2 minutes  I figure It was my choice that she is in this big strange world so its my responsibility to make her feel safe and loved

Ive found she is soo much easier to settle now as she knows Mummy is always there

Yeah I second that dvd, helped us heaps to learn the signs. We were told Isla shoulnt be awake more than 1 hr max.

Hi Nicci. I agree with the others. I wouldn't leave a 2 week old to cry at all. Babies that age can't actually form bad habits. I know it's hard at the moment, I had a newborn that never wanted to sleep either and hardly ever slept more than 1.5 hours day or night but if you can try and find other ways to settle him you'll both get a bit more peace.

Some of the above suggestions are great - how did the patting work for you? I'd also second using a sling or front pack. Have you tried lying with your baby (in a moses basket or on the bed beside you). A bouncinette (ours was electronic and vibrated). A baby hammock. Rocking in your arms until asleep and then placed into basinette (I found it was easier to get her to stay asleep if I held her for 10 mins after she fell asleep then put her down).

I hope some of these help.