Well speaking as someone who has had two "poor" gainers I found that by watching the BABY and ignoring the scales made me so much less stressed out.
With DS1 we were on weekly weighs for his first 12 months of life, he had formula "top ups" that were full formula feeds by 5 months and the kid STILL didn't gain weight. I too felt guilty because I was determined to do it all on my own and the thing that we were told would help did naff all! Long story short, he is now ABOVE average for height and weight for his age (just turned 6). Fast forward 4 years..............
DS2 was born and he fed well, on demand and he comfort sucked too for good measure. LOL He was going all guns blazing until he got a cold, and then the chickenpox and then another cold all by the time he was 4 months old. By then he had fallen OFF the plunket charts, but he was still on the 15th centile for the WHO weight for length bf charts. I REFUSED to comp him, offer him more solids or do any of the things I knew for a fact were liable to make the situation WORSE not better. He was ebf for 7 months, he self weaned at 18.5 months and in that time he never had a drop of formula. I also refused to weigh him weekly and I watched HIM. He gave me NO cause for concern and though it was frustrating explaining myself at every plunket visit and having to listen to things that were said that essentially implied that it was MY fault that he wasn't gaining weight "well' like I was starving him or something!
Weight gain is an indication that they are getting enough milk BUT contrary to modern growth charts it isn't the be all and end all. Are you getting between 5-6 sopping wet nappies a day? Is he pooing regularly? Has he gotten longer and/or has his head got bigger? Is he content after MOST feeds? If you can answer yes to those then there's probably not a problem. I found that DS2 gained weight or length but never both in the same month. So one month he might put on triple the weight gain he should (not that they were ever happy with that so stopped pointing it out to them) and another month he'd gain length.
My poor weight gainer as a baby, is now about 13kg (not sure 100% on that as he's not been weighed in more than 6 months because I refused) and I reckon I have babies who gain weight slowly and then 'bulk up' as toddlers. LOL
Seriously though, I was fully ff from birth and I was 'tiny' and I didn't gain weight well, in fact even today it is practically IMPOSSIBLE for me to gain weight. You're not a failure, you've done what you thought was best with the information you had at the time. have you been in touch with a lactation consultant or La Leche League......they are probably better equipped to deal with your concerns than someone who probably knows very little about bf (as is evident by being told to 'top up BEFORE a bf and then only bf for 20 minutes a side; I was told to top up AFTER a bf so your body knows that it still needs to make that milk).
Kellymom might be a good place to look in the interim. It has been my bf bible and whenever I had concerns it was usually my first point of call.
Good luck and if you really want to bf then do it, it's YOUR baby and no one can force you to do something you don't want to, especially if it's not actually working.
Ooh and feel free to PM me if you want, just to have a chat or a whinge or whatever.
Edited by mumtooboys
low weight gain Formula and breastfeeding
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. If only babies came with a manual!
