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  | tinytawnykitten   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 02 July 2008
 Location: Wellington
 Points: 259
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Topic: No friends at kindy Posted: 25 July 2008 at 5:55pm
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   My DS who has just turned 4, has been at kindy since Feb this year and he still doesn't have any friends there. He is quite a shy little boy but boisterous as ever at home with the other children, two of whom are his best friends (I am a home-based carer). He does adore two of the kindy teachers though. But it just breaks my heart the thought of him being friendless. As a result I am pretty sooky about taking him to kindy. He usually doesn't want to go, and while I always encourage him to go, if he is really upset I don't make him go. He didn't go all this week cos he has a chest infection. He has now gotten into morning kindy 5 days a week which terrifies me. He starts in September and the thought of it has me in tears. Pathetic I know. But when I was a child, I didn't really have any friends for my first year of primary school and it was awful. 
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  | Bizzy   Senior Member
 
   
 
 Joined: 01 January 1900
 Location: New Zealand
 Points: 10974
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 25 July 2008 at 6:18pm | 
 
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   i am pretty sure that at the afternoon sessions my son never really had any friends either...  it wasnt till he got older and could play with other kids instead of alongside them that he got into a "group"...  the kindy teachers should be encouraging him to make friends and involve him in group activities.  i would talk to them and see what they say - they can be quite helpful, even for out of kindy matters, i have found.    
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  | 2bmumof3   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 23 November 2007
 Location: Masterton
 Points: 477
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 25 July 2008 at 7:50pm | 
 
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   DS1 goes to montessori where he calls anyone who talks to him his 'friend'.  Yet he is still not at a stage of playing with kids, simply preferring to do his own thing.  He's 3 yrs 8mnths so maybe its a age and stage thing.
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     Sara
 Corban (22/11/04)
 Connor (18/04/06)
 Chelsea (21/05/08)
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  | busymum   Senior Member
 
   
 
 Joined: 01 January 1900
 Location: New Zealand
 Points: 12236
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 25 July 2008 at 8:00pm | 
 
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   I think it might be a tricky age to make friends, maybe your son prefers small groups of friends instead of the larger dynamics at kindy? Could you invite one or two of the other boys home after kindy or on the weekends (etc) for playdates every now and then to boost his confidence with other kids?
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  | Candkids   Senior Member
 
   
   
 Joined: 03 April 2007
 Location: BOP
 Points: 2503
 |  Post Options  Thanks(0)  Quote  Reply  Posted: 25 July 2008 at 9:58pm | 
 
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   sarah never really had any friends at kindy either, shed kind of just talk to anyone really or just do her own thing, i think kindy is alot different for making friends than school , as at school there kind of forced to with being in the same class etc but at kindy  they all just really do their own thing.
 you could help encourage him when you drop him off tho i guess if you said something like " ohh look what that boys doing/painting/playing" whats his name? he looks like a friendly boy,why dont you ask if you can join in?"
 theese are the kind of things i said to sarah to encourage her, i also found as horrible as it was if i stayed  because i was worried she was more focused on me than anything else.
 
 even have a talk to the teachers about it and they will try and make sure hes having a good time and try and encourage him , they come accross things like that all the time (so my mum says)
 
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      DD 10.5yrs  DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above
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