No heartbeat, but what happens now

I am so so sorry Bubble.

When I had a MC, I was offered 3 choices - let nature take its course, medical management (a pill to induce a miscarriage), and surgical (a d&c). My OB said I could choose any of them, but he would recommend the first, although by this stage I had started bleeding. He was happy to do a d&c if I choose as this is covered by my health insurance. If I wanted medical management, this could be done through the early pregnancy clinic.

Hope this helps.

Hugs x

HI Bubble-so worry for your loss. I thought I was ten weeks but went for a scan yesterday and baby was 7 weeks. Talked to the midwife by phone and she said these days they recommend the natural approach and was like you in limbo. I  was already bleeding a bit (started spotting Sunday night) and last night I miscarried naturally,. My midwife had said whe would give me a week to miscarry then refer for d and c.

Hi Bubble

Sorry to hear what you are going though hun. I also had a missed miscarriage and found out at my 12 week scan that our baby had died at 8 weeks. I was given the 3 options already mentioned and chose to have a D&C. I didn't feel strong enough to cope with letting nature take it's course especially given the time already passed since she died. The D&C was fine and all over before I knew it. Consider all your options and chose what is best for you - not what someone else thinks you should have.

Hugs and best of luck with everything x

Bubble, you are going through such a hard time! I am shocked at the low level of care you are receiving. Where abouts are you? They should admit you into hospital for the medical management option.

I had the medical management and was admitted into hospital for the day to have it done. I took a pill (mifiprostal) on Sunday at the clinic and went home, and then went in on Tuesday for the Misoprostal pill. They gave them to me orally and within 1 and a 1/2 hours I was cramping. The cramps were managable with panadol. After a couple of hours, I started passing clots and tissue etc. I didn't have to look at it, I could just put the lid down on the toilet and then the nurse would come and take it all away. They needed to inspect it all to make sure all the tissue had passed. I passed the embryo separately from the sac etc and the nurse asked if I would like to see it. She had cleaned it up and put it in a little speciman jar. I did see it and it was the most beautiful and healing experience. Dh saw it later too and I think it was helpful for him. I had a bit of trouble passing the placenta and sac so I ended up having a doctor come and just coax things out a bit - all pain free. As soon as the sac etc was out, I stopped bleeding. I was home in bed by 8.30pm. It was a bit messy and not totally pain free but I healed really fast, and my periods got back to normal straight away. It was definitely the right choice for me. We got to take the embryo home and buried it under a lovely rose bush bought in it's honour.

Everyone is totally different but I just knew I couldn't wait for it to all happen naturally and wanted to be in hospital where I could be taken care of and given any pain relief I might need. You can have bad cramping and bleeding the natural way too but I think most women find this method the most straight forward - as long as it happens easily! I didn't like the idea of a D&C because of the risk of scarring etc.

I hope this information has been helpful. You keep pushing and sticking up for your rights! You are a grieving Mum and deserve to be treated with gentleness and respect. Don't stop until you get it! (That's the mother lioness talking:-))
Good luck.

Thank you so much everyone for all your support. It has given me a lot more strength to tell people in the medical profession that the way I have been treated is not right.
I shifted to Nelson a year ago and this week I feel like I have shifted to the 1950s.

My midwife did ask the hospital to arrange a D&C for me, but now I have read all your stories I would have much preferred to have medical management, (which has still not been offered). I had a D&C when I had a partial molar and felt robbed that I didn't get to see my 16 week old baby, for closure. I had never been warned that a D&C had a risk of scarring.

The nurse rang from the hospital on Friday to tell me I was booked in for a D&C on Monday morning, but when I told her I wouldn't be back in Nelson by then she got very sh*tty and rude. I tried to explain I had a wedding but I must have inconvenienced her day and she was not happy. I rang back later in the day to find out if she was able to re-book me but she was very short with me, like I wasn't her problem to deal with.

I was so worried that the miscarriage would start as the bride walked down the aisle at a lake front wedding, and I would have to make a run (which we all know wouldn't be possible) for the car, with a long drive back to the accom. But everything seemed to happen on Sunday night over about 1.5 hours. I'm not sure what happens now. I'm sure I'll need a scan but feel a bit like the problem child no one wants.

If anyone knows who I should be writing a complaint letter to, or has gone through a miscarriage in Nelson and had a supportive midwife that they could recommend, I would really appreciate it.

Thank you again for sharing your experiences. I have learnt a lot that doctors/midwifes don't seem to share. I hope I never have to go through this again and others treated the same way will know they are able to push for what they want. I do feel like my grief has been replaced with anger though which isn't good.

You all have done the job of supporting me through this. Even though I didn't think I was strong enough to wait for it to happen naturally. Thank you so much!!

Hi bubble I have been thinking about you today and so glad you are ok, although it sounds the way you were treated was terrrible.

Two pink lines - so sorry to hear that. I hope you have lots of support around you at this time. If there's anything we can say, any info we could help with, or you just need to vent to people who have been down the same road, this is the place! Let us know how you get on. xx

Two pink lines I hope you are doing ok. We went for a scan at 10 weeks and th baby had died at 7, that was a couple of weeks ago now. I hpe you have made it through the weekend ok and get to see the gp today. I miscarried the night after the scan but for some people it takes longer and as hopefully you already know there is the option of a d and c or drugs to induce miscarriage. One thing I wish I had known more about was what a miscarriage can be like for different people, not to scare myslef but just so I would have been more prepared.