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MissAngel View Drop Down
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Joined: 10 January 2008
Location: Rangiora
Points: 3322 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MissAngel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Parents and their partners.
    Posted: 03 May 2008 at 11:07am
Okay, rant time for me (its been a while :P)

My mum has a partner which she's been with for 2 years now (left my dad for him) he's a really lovely guy, but he annoys the sh*t out of me. He's extremely clingy (which she LOVES) and cant have her go anywhere without him being there too.
Now, today is housework day - mum gets paid to do my housework for me, she needed the money and i'm unable to do it. She was supposed to be here at 9.30am to start, then he would have come at 12 for lunch etc. Its 11am now, and when I sent a message to her on MSN, he replies saying he's coming this morning as well, and he's just about to have a shower and breakfast. I specified to my mum that I dont like him coming over when she's gonna do housework, as he gets in the way and tries to do stuff - which he always mucks up - or distracts mum.
How do I tell him to sod off without telling him to sod off? He's really nice and goes out of his way usually to help, but omg. I'm gonna clock him one if he doesnt let me have some mum-time.
He's even had a whinge about me booking her for mothers day, which is a sunday and he'll be home from work and wants to come out too. I just laughed at him and told him to 'please go away now thanks.'
I hate to think what he's gonna be like when the baby gets here!
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Kels View Drop Down
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Lower Hutt
Points: 11520 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 May 2008 at 3:27pm

Big hugs hun. Sorry I have no advice on how to deal with your mum bring her partner apart from maybe sitting them both down and letting them know how the situation makes you feel. Best of luck for what you decide.

Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs
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Peace View Drop Down
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Points: 1431 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Peace Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 May 2008 at 4:30pm
What about having a heart to heart with your Mum about how you love spending Mummy-Daughter time with her and you are beginning to think 3 is a crowd? If she is unwilling to listen maybe talk to him about it just start out reassuring him that you think he is really great etc but sometimes you just need your Mum and only Mum It can be hard for them to hear but insist you are not meaning it as in you dislike your Mum's DP just need some room.
Best of luck!
DD1 May 2006
DD2 March 2011
DD3 August 2012
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Tiff View Drop Down
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Joined: 29 January 2007
Location: Christchurch
Points: 1117 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Tiff Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 May 2008 at 5:45pm
Unfortuanately I was in a similar situatation, although it was with my Dads partner and the problem there was she felt jealous/threatened by me (more so than with my Mother consdering my parents have remained good friends). So you have my full sympathy it's an awfull position to be in.
I agree with Peace talking to your Mum etc is the best place to start, and just take it from there and see what happens. Sadly that's all the advice I can really give you as my problem was solved by them spliting up (she turned out to be quite a nutter!!) and my Dad living with us for 18 months!
So good luck and big hugs for now!!
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NeoshasMummy View Drop Down
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Joined: 11 March 2008
Location: Auckland
Points: 1848 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote NeoshasMummy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 May 2008 at 7:31pm
U poor thing!

My dads partner was similar except she was really jelous when he spent time with me and she would do things like not pass messages on and stuff. I remember one xmas when I was 14 she said she wanted to have xmas by themselves.... without me!!! We had a massive blow up about two years ago and havent spoken since.

I really think sometimes they just need to be told and he seems like a nice guy in other asspects so maybe you could have a serious talk to your mum about how you feel? Maybe she could pass the message on for u


Mrs Te Kani ❤️
Neosha 26/5/2007
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