So I saw a psychiatrist...

And he agrees with me that I most definitely don't have PND. Woohoo - finally someone agrees! He thinks my biggest problem is anxiety so had fiddled with my meds a little more to try and sort some of that, and he also thinks that I am more than a little OCD (and here I thought I was just charmigly eccentric!) and the new meds should help a little with that - altho I admit I am confused as to how they'll help coz I think the OCD is more of a behavioural thing: how is a pill going to stop me checking the locks four times a night and obsessively watching the numbers on the microwave clock.

It was definitely worthwhile seeing him, even tho I was very nervous and anxious beforehand,it gave me a chance to go over all the bonding issues, and the pregnancy (he said he thinks there is a small element of PTSD associated with a couple of things that happened when the gremlins were tiny), and he doesn't think I'm crazy, and he laughed when he asked me if I'd ever thought of "harming myself" and I said "no, coz I am too much of a control freak and if I die then I lose control of everything ".

And it was worth it just to see the looks on the wee gremlins faces when I arrived home again, they were so happy to see me

I am pleased you are feeling good after having been there.

I hope the meds will help you!

Good on you for seeing the specialist. I've worked with a number of adolescents with OCT and medication can be a big help (usually combined with behavioural strategies), as it's a type of anxiety disorder. Usually they bump up the dose quite high.