Tears & obstetric damage support Group

That is great to hear Eassa, sorry to hear you need surgery but great you have been listened too. Great about the carer help, I will look into that for next year. How are you feeling about it now?

I'm so frustrated, I keep being told that my tear has healed and the scar tissue isn't too bad, but 6 months on and I can't enjoy sex, and I can't walk properly the day after. I don't suppose anyone knows of someone in Auckland who specialises in this type of thing? The Tear Clinic at the Manukau Superclinic can't decide if something needs to be done or if it will get better over time (6 months isn't enough?)

I've told DH that we need to start on number 2 to stretch everything out!

Hi ladies I thought it was time to update you all on how my surgery went.

Well the day went very smoothly. I had requested to be first on the surgically list for the afternoon as I am still breastfeeding and this was no problem. I had my husband, my mum and son there to support me. I met Dr Sharp who is lovely and he decided to proceed with the Botox after an exam. He then informed me I was to wait two weeks before having sex and then "go at it like rabbits". Haha.

The surgery took 30 minutes and I woke in recovery very alert. Had to wait 40 minutes before I could be moved to the Step Down Unit as they were short on beds. Hubby, my son and mum were all there with me. I had a small meal and expressed off the first lot of milk to discard.

I only had to stay 3 hours afterwards, as again they were short on beds. They gave me hardly any pain relief to take home which was annoying but I managed to survive. I was very tender and sore for the first six days. Now each day I am feeling a little bit better and I am able to get around the house with no troubles (excluding picking up and carrying my son).

My husband took the first four days off work to help me and I now have in home help every day to do the lifting and carrying of my son and to help with the house work.

I am resuming LLLT on Thursday with Maree Frost.

I am a little nervous about having sex again as of course its going to be a bit painful for a while.

I have a follow up appointment with Dr Singh in five weeks to see how everything is settling down.

I am feeling positive about this experience and looking forward to getting my independence back and starting to exercise again.

Hi TeacherLady
Its been 10 weeks since my surgery and things have defiantly improved. I still have got a long way to go with pelvic pain. If you have any question please dont hesitate to ask me. Are you aware you are entitled to help from ACC?

You are entitled to help from ACC for a 'treatment injury'. Your GP can make the application for you on your behalf. ACC can provide help for counseling, an osteopath and homehelp if you need it. There will also cover the cost of a private second opinion. Just ring ACC and they will let you know what they can help you with. I had six weeks home help after my second surgery which was a major help as I could not lift my son.

I would strongly advise you see an osteopath for yourself and your baby as you may have some damage to your pelvis from an extended labour. I pushed for four hours and have quiet a lot of ongoing pelvic pain. Babies that come rapidly or are suck like ours often have pinched nerves, miss-shaped heads and this can cause colic, reflux, problems with sleeping, ear infections and problems later in childhood. So it a good idea to take them as soon as possible. Untreated problems in the pelvis with later cause back, neck, knee and ancle problems. So it is important to get onto as soon as possible.

We had planned on having four children but after the trama and abuse I suffered from my first we will probably just have the one. I can't have any more natural birth as the likelihood of another 4th degree tear is very high and the damage would be beyond repair and I would have to have a colostomy bag for the rest of my life.

Enquire with your physio whether Low Level Laser Therapy is available as this greatly benefitted me and speed up some of the recovery time. Bio oil can help with the tightness you are experiencing You can also ask from your GP or Gyane for a prescription for Lignocaine. It is an antiseptic gel that is very helpful to use before sex (if your ready to of course).

On another note if you are not happy with what happen at your birth you can seek help from an advocate from the Health and Disability Commission. An advocate will come to you to discuss any concerns you may have about care your received and discuss any breeches of human rights.