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Forum LockedThink I am going crazy

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jojo View Drop Down
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    Posted: 05 July 2007 at 10:59pm
Hi there, I am just new at this so please bear with me if I ramble to much or go off on a tangent.
Bascially I was diagnosed with PND when my second son was 3 weeks and i was on meds for 3 months until I thought I was better and went off them cold turkey, the following year has been pretty crap really, I left my kids father (i have two boys 3 and 18mths) got into aother relationship to fast - I think I was just trying to fill a gap, moved towns to new boyfriends and that only lasted a wekk before I had a complete melt down and went running home to my boys dad - he has been such a wonderful support for me and is wanting to sort things out when I am feeling better, but as good as he is I still don;t feel able to open up to him as I feel I have failed him majorly and feel like he should hate me, so I don't tell him how bad I am really feeling cos I know he is worried about me enough.
I went back to the doctor and got back on AD meds and Sleeping Pills, that was 15 days ago and if anything I feel worse, the panic/anxiety attacks are more frequent and intense, so went back again today with a list of everything I could think of, my feelings and physically symptoms, she was a little helpful but even she did not know what to say to me - I am guessing she has never been there. So anyway she gave me some meds for the anxiety which help but not for very long - She said take one whenever I feel anxious - which is quite a bit, but the bottle says to only take one - has anyone had experience with this? She did want to call the mental health crisis team at the hospital but I told her that I don't want to harm myself or my babies and I don't, I can't stand to be away from them even though they cause me a lot of stress and anxiety!! So she just said to call them If i ever feel like doing something. But I am scared that if I take their help they will think I am too sick to look after my babies and take them off me - which would just destroy me.
Ok not really too sure what else to write, oh except has anyone done the edinburgh test for PND? if you have what were your scores if you don't mind me asking, and if you ahve not done it I found this link useful http://www.testandcalc.com/etc/tests/edin.asp
My score was 29.
Anyway just came on here in the hope of finding people who may be going through similar things. Thanks for taking time to read my post

Jo
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Leish View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Leish Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 July 2007 at 11:41pm
Hi Jo - first of all It really sounds like you have been through the wringer with all of this but that is so awesome that you have gone to get help and have been trying to stay of top of your PND and anxiety issues. I don't have any experience with PND at all but there are lots of ladies on here with a wealth of experience and information and i'm sure you will be able to find lots of support and information here.

My hubby had anxiety issues and was on medication for that. He had the same issue where the bottle said to only take one but the dr said to take one whenever he felt stressed or anxious and he ended up ODing cos the anxiety wouldn't go away so he kept popping pill after pill after pill... Might pay to clarify with your GP about that.

Where in the country are you? I've heard of a place called maternal mental health who might be able to help but I don't know where they are so hopefully someone else on here will have more info.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Guests Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 July 2007 at 8:56pm

Lets start with a huge

I used the services of MMH, it was the best thing I could have done. I am not sure what town you are in but the AKL team are fantastic.
If you were adamant you don't want their help maybe talk to your plunket nurse.
In AKL they run a group for women with PND with the help of MMH. I went along every week for about 12 weeks. It was a huge step for me to deal with my feelings and how to cope with them also.
There is also the help from Barnadoes. This I did not get in time but was lucky enough with MMH.

I hope things look up for you in the near furture.

Take Care

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james View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote james Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 July 2007 at 11:16pm
jus want to send you big hugs
<a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a>
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jojo View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jojo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 July 2007 at 1:31am
ok firstly thanks for the great support and words of encoragemnt. Still wondering what other people may have scored on the ed test - I am still concered that mine is quite high 29. but anyway that is not my major concern at the moment and forgive me if this sound totally weird as it is starting to freak me out a bit, but since last night I have been seeing hallucinations, started with things I thought were moving inthe corners of my eyes but now I can actually wat ch somethingfor long periods of time while they move about - I knw it is not real cos my friend was here and I kept asking her, but as she has gone now am getting a bit panicky about it.'has anyone has anything like this or know what might be causing it. While to begin with it was actully a bit funny but now the anxiety meds are wearing off I m scarred that they will turn evil.
I did go the MMH service here in Palmy and they were not too bad and set up a plan for me for the weekend and then get a key worker to come sort out practical stuff like getting a pshychatrist, extra help with kids and home help ect. Was kind of hoping this would help me find other people who have had hallucinations
I
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kezplanet Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 July 2007 at 2:41am
If that is the test that you do at the doctors then I did that but my score was 44, I have been on medication for bout 2 mths now, started with AD with sedative but found that all I wanted to do was sleep but during the day, they were sposed to make me tired enough to get me into bed a decent time .... but didnt seem to do the job so went back & told dr that I couldn't cope with 2 kids & just wanting to sleep all day so changed to one without sedative & taking in the morning, things have improved, I dont find my self wanting to fall asleep at the drop of a hat during the day. I actually can get up in the morning and enjoy ny time with the girls and I am able to hold my temper much more these days which is good for us all!! I don't seem to be as anxious as before and am not on meds for this & do not have hallucinations but my sister who has severe anxity, other social phobias & was also diagnosed with bi-polar when she was 19, was having bad hallucinations as she was getting sick (just before a breakdown) plants were talking to her, dogs eyes would glow red - hence have the devil in them and were trying to get her. This was happening when she was having a manic episode, at the worst she was also delisional & (thought she) owned a house, gold credit card, & had extreme thoughts of grandure.
Take what ever help you can get, dont try to do it all by yourself as we all need help at different times and so many people are there to help and are not interested in judging you. It is important that you get help for your sake, for your boys father and most importantly for your two wee boys who deserve to have a mum who is happy and healthy. I hope things get better for you soon. I will be watching for your posts to see how you are doing. If you would like to e-mail me my address is on my profile or you can pm me. Good luck
Kerryn, Mum to
Ashlyn(29/3/04), Anastasia(1/11/05) & Abigail (24/02/09)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Redbedrock Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 July 2007 at 8:28am
I would highly reccommend the Maternal Mental Health team, I saw them as a day patient in Wellington, and they were fantastic, they gave me practical advise for coping mechanisms for my anxiety, advised me re medications, how and when to take them. They are the experts, rather than your GP. In wellington it did take nearly 12 weeks for my referra, by which time I had been on meds for 2 months which did help with my situation
I know in Wellington there is also a Post natal distress support group, I haven't used this yet but it's a resource on my list. My Plunket nurse gave me info. Also a group called Mothers network, which I did go to and can't reccommend highly enough, again i think it is only Wellington based, I went to a discussion group for new mothers and got so much out of it, I found out I was normal and my anxieties were just normal reactions but had been over amplified. If it's useful they run a older babies course too
I hope you can find some help and peace for yourself, take it easy on yourself and take care of yourself.
claire
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