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hayley1 
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 Topic: toddler not coping with newborn!!
Posted: 11 June 2012 at 4:54pm |
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Please help!
I have a 15 month old who is normally a calm placid happy little boy. Since we brought home our newborn a week ago he has turned into a grizzly grumpy boy. He grizzles constantly and throws temper tantrums. I know its a big change for him but he has still been getting lots of attention as my hubby is home. Has anyone experienced this sudden personality change when a new sibbling is brought home? I desperatly need advice as him being grizzly and refusing to play is makinb having a new baby even more difficult. And hubby goes back to work soon, i dont know how i will cope if ds1 is still unhappy. Any advice is much appreciated!
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Hopes
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Location: Waikato
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Posted: 11 June 2012 at 6:49pm |
Oh yep! My son is the cruisiest, most chilled little man out, and I think because of that I kind of didn't realise the impact that his baby sister was going to have on him. But it really hit him hard.
We just kept giving him as much attention as possible, lots of hugs and cuddles, and tried not to get frustrated because his reaction was so very understandable if you think about it.
We still have the odd issue, but he's back to his cruisy happy self now for most of the part. It really is doable, and it won't be forever 
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hayley1
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Posted: 11 June 2012 at 7:14pm |
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Thanks for the reply Hopes. Im glad your ds got better, i was starting to think that my ds might never get used to it! How long did your ds take to start getting used tohis baby sister?
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squoggs
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Posted: 11 June 2012 at 7:17pm |
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we have a 17m age gap...I found the first 12 weeks hard, esp as #2 had bad reflux and needed a lot of attention. But after that, I think #1 just got over it, it certainly got a lot easier! Its a heck of an adjustment from being an only child, to having to share your mum and dad. I found things like playing with #1 while her little bro was asleep, putting a dvd on while I was feeding, taking #1 for walks and leaving bubs with my husband all helped...but time is the best thing :-)
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Hopes
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Posted: 12 June 2012 at 1:15am |
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It wasn't an 'on one day - off the next' thing, it just got better slowly. Even now (five months in), DS will run to the chair where I feed DD and sit on it to try and stop me getting on, because he gets a bit jealous of that. But I think he was more back to normal than not after two months. AND he loves her so much. It's just so darn cute to watch him give her a little pat on the tummy like he's seen me do if she grizzles, or share his toys with her, or include her in his play (this morning he was 'swimming' round the floor around her "le-li-ly dolphin, Mummy. Me SHARK!', I just about melted). And goodness, if she wakes up and I leave her in her basinette for a little while hoping she'll go back down, I don't hear the end of it. "Le-li-ly WAKE Mummy! Get up! Get up!"
Even though they find it a little hard to adjust, there's so many positives in having a little brother or sister, and you'll get plenty of smiles from it.
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Stoked
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Posted: 12 June 2012 at 12:29pm |
We have a 17 month age gap too. DS certainly has his moments when there is grizzles and tantrums, but I think a lot of it is also this age where they learn so quickly and get frustrated that we don't understand them.
Like Hopes' little boy, DS also loves his little sister soo much. She gets lots of kisses and cuddles, he lies with her under the playgym and tells her "stories" and when I feed her he often sits snuggled up next to bubs and I. Bubs follows his every movement with her eyes. 
Lots of positiveness throughout the day for anything he does which I want to encourage - playing nicely, being gentle with the baby, eating, reading etc has been our best weapon to combat the grizzles and tantrums. When we go to Playgroup and Toddlerock the other mums help looks after bubs so DS can get some mummy time. (If he wants it!)
Hopefully it won't be long before he is back to normal.
Edited by Stoked
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Muma21more
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Posted: 12 June 2012 at 7:36pm |
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Hi
all i can say is it gets easier DD1 was the same DD2 is now 8 weeks old and the difference in dd1 is dramatic. hold on there it will get better
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mother of Talia 19 months
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MrsEmma
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Posted: 13 June 2012 at 1:06pm |
I also have a 15 month age gap, DS was really good but yeah I agree that the communication issue was a tough one. He was so used to having me all to himself and nothing but 1:1 attention and now he had to share and I wasn't able to give him the time I could before to work out what he wanted.
It got better, when he started talking more and got into the 'helping' phase, I'd ask him if he could get me a nappy or wipes etc. and he thought it was an awesome game
And when it did get better - it got so awesome! It's such an awesome age gap and they are so gorgeous together now. My mantra for the last year has been 'This, too, shall pass' and it does, and it will get better. I promise 
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fionaonaboat
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Posted: 29 June 2012 at 1:38pm |
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My kids are also 15 months apart, boy then girl. DS was not happy originally, but more upset if Papa or Nana held the baby. Gradually he got used to her of course and adores the pants off her now. Constantly trying to play with her, share things, read her books etc etc. She is 11 months now and it's so much fun watching them interact. The older one does soon forget they were the baby!!
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hayley1
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Posted: 03 July 2012 at 12:47pm |
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Wow thank you for all your replies and encouragement. Ds2 is 4 weeks old and its getting slightly easier. I think the most difficult thing at the moment is trying to play with him and give him attention while also holding the baby (he doesnt settle well or sleep much)
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Kellz
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Posted: 03 July 2012 at 12:51pm |
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Do u use a wrap for baby? I found wearing baby he would settle better, and leave arms free and time for the older child.
I found it was a good 6 weeks til DD was fully settled with having a new baby in the house. I told my firend this, she now has a 2 yr old and 7 week old, and she agrees that it took 6 weeks for them too.
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Glorified Feeder
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Posted: 08 June 2013 at 9:34pm |
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Hey there! I'm probably a little late on into the conversation, but what the hey. I have a 3 week old and she has a 22 month old brother.
The best advice I have been given is to not "blame things on the baby" - avoid saying "I can't right now the baby needs a feed"/ "we have to leave the park now so I can settle the baby" etc etc - this can cause resentment in the toddler as the baby is taking mum away.
Be more general - "we have to leave because it is home time" - so the toddler doesn't associate missing out on things with his new sibling.
all the best - we WILL survive :) its a scary time - im constantly worried about my toddlers emotional health - but i reckon they adjust better than we think ;)
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toddler not coping with newborn!!
