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    Posted: 30 January 2011 at 6:06pm
I have a a question and i have been a few wedding forums but i think this is something that people on this site would understand better.

Im currently losing weight so that we can start IVF and hope to have lost the weight by July at the latest. We then have a 9-12 month wait for IVF

The thing is we are wanting to get married in early 2013 (Im thinking 23/2/13) I know things might not work out wtih IVF but would you let this effect the planninng of the wedding? Im not worried about being a pregnant bride Im more worried about the stress of both things

Also if any of you lovely ladies want to find me some nice outdoor venues that would be great. We want to have the reception in a marquee somewhere that we can have our own catering and maybe BYO. Oh and we are in the Hutt Valley but my family are in Paraparaumu so anywhere in the Wellington area is fine
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myfullhouse View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote myfullhouse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 January 2011 at 6:21pm
I can only imagine the stress that IVF can/does cause it would be tough. Weddings can be very stressful as well, although only if you want them to be.
I would probably go for both, the only thing that would effect the wedding is the possibility of being 8+mths pg on the wedding day. If you have a supportive group of family and friends to help, plan well in advance and keep it simple then IMO the wedding shouldn't be put on hold

Good luck with both!
Lindsey


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MyLilSquishy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MyLilSquishy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 January 2011 at 10:06pm
have you thought about a wedding planner? they do everything and you just give the final sign off. or they can plan whatever you dont want too.

if you want to plan the venue and flowers but nothing else - then they do the rest and so on.


personally i would not want to put one off for the other.


I can only imagine that IVF would be stressful - but I agree with Linzy - if you have a strong and helpful support network - then I believe you will suprise yourself with what you can handle.

Think about what is best for you and your family. also im sure there are heaps of people who would be willing to help in any way.

and are you happy with a simple low key wedding? (ie - when DP and i get married - its going to be a short ceremony followed by an informal BBQ and drinks) - minimal planning and minimal costs.


Good luck and I have all my fingers and toes crossed for you!!! *hugs*
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrsJMcD Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 January 2011 at 10:28pm
I would do both!

In terms of location, are you wanting a marquee only because you want to self cater?

We were married at the Old Museum building at Massey University (Buckle St in town). It's gorgeous! From memory they didn't have in-house caterers or preferred suppliers we were required to use (although this was 2 1/2 years ago so might be different now), so on that basis I'd think you might be able to do your own catering? Defintiely BYO - that's what we did.

Good luck - how exciting!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote _H_ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 January 2011 at 7:51am
We both like the feel of a marquee and for cater we kind of want to go for a spit roast company with maybe our own salads etc because of the cost. Plus we want something low key and relaxing

I had just googled the old museum. It looks nice and you can self cater. Hmmmm lots to think about it
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myfullhouse View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote myfullhouse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 January 2011 at 11:12am
Bear in mind that self catering can be alot more work and not necessarily cheaper. We self catered (in a building not marquee) and altho I loved our wedding, if I was to do it again I would do more cost comparisons. With Self catering you need plates, bowls, chairs, tables, tablecloths, napkins, cutlery, glasses etc. You also need to set up and clean up yourselves (well you get the family to do the clean up! ). By the time you do all that I am not sure that it is always cheaper, and it is more work. I am not saying don't do it, just do some research first as you might find it is not necessarily cheaper
Lindsey


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clover View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote clover Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 January 2011 at 11:31am
My brother got married at an afternoon reception at Wallaceville house, it was beautiful, cheaper than an evening reception and worked out cheaper than doing it themselves. Maybe look at the all inclusive places such as Wallaceville House, Kaitoke Country Gardens and The Lodge at the Inlet and consider options other than a Saturday evening and you'll find it is quite a bit cheaper, all inclusive would be a lot less stress for you also.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote HuMum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 January 2011 at 12:00pm
I think as long as you don't think you will be a bridezilla, and sounds like you are going for a relaxed type wedding rather than a over the top wedding then do both.

As for venues we had ours at thesilverstream retreat. It was fabulous, they supplied all the chairs table cloths etc and cheap!!! Note it was 5 years ago, so I hope they haven't gone ridiculous on the prices. Spit Roast company did the food, and therefore all the dishes. We only had cake and fruit salad for dessert (we only got the fruit salad so they would supply the plates ) And we had leftovers for the brunch the next day. They also have wonderful accomodation, probably the nicest in lower hutt. So after the party we all just stumbled across to our rooms!

We only had to worry about the glasses, which we hired, but they had dishwashes on site. A couple of family friends ran our bar, which we supplied using wine we bought on special in months leading up to the big day.

Only caveat I have is book friday and saturday, we didn't and someone had a wedding the friday night (I didn't even think about that, apparently very popular!) so we had to set up on the morning of the wedding!! Most brides would be at the hairdressers, I was setting up tables. Also the venue has a heap on rundown buildings which made wonderful wedding photos.

All up we had 100 guests full meal under 10K for everything including the dress. Oh theres a lady in Newlands who made my cake for less than half the price of any bakery.

Most stressful thing was to stop my mum spending money on so called essentials (eg punchbowls!)
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clover View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote clover Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 January 2011 at 1:30pm
Oh yeah, I didn't think of the Silverstream retreat, that's a great venue as well.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote LadyBee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 January 2011 at 5:47pm
23rd of Feb is a fantastic date to get married..... I was married on that day almost 3 yrs ago now

I also had a low key marquee wedding and hired caterers to do the food. Brought all my own drinks and everyone just helped them selves but I did have to hire all the tables, cuttlery, glasses etc aswell as tidy up the next day and do the dishes with my new husband as everyone had gone which wasnt very nice. If I had thought about it better I would of got someone who did it all...Way more stress free!

Cant help with the venues but enjoy planning your wedding
TTC for 4 1/2 years
IVF #1 - April 2012 short BFP, no frosties
IVF #2 - August 2012, BFP!! 3 frosties!

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote _H_ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 January 2011 at 8:23pm
LB- DP (still DP until i get the ring next month) wanted an easy date to remember and it would be the day after my 24 birthday so nice and easy for him!

After looking into it most spit roast companies will provide (and take away) plates etc otherwise I was thinking of maybe getting my old boss to cater it so he would deal with cleaning all the plates/glasses etc.

Still have a lot of time to work things out but need to start with the venue and convincing DP that he doesnt have to invite his whole extended family- some that i havent even meet!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote _H_ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 February 2011 at 12:10pm
Oh im in love with this venue sudbury fields

Its $2000 and thats just for venue. Is that a good price? We still have to hire everything plus food. Remember for both the ceremony and reception
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote millymollymandy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 February 2011 at 12:43pm
Wow - that does look beautiful. I see why you like it!

$2000, is quite expensive (although not familiar with capital prices), but anything with a marquee is pretty pricey. My brother and SIL spent $5,000 just on Marquee set up alone, its stuff like chair hire that add up.

But I also am of the view that its the one day you can do exactly what you want, so if that's what you love - go for it.

I say go for both. I had pretty low stress wedding, we worked on the principle that if it was 80% OK, then it was good enough. And if it all works out what a great year!!!

I got married the day after my brithday (midwinter's day) and it was great - two days of celebration.

Both my BIL & SIL and their partners had self catered weddings - they were heaps of work and in some ways heaps more stressful than ours. Certainly I found as a guest the cooking side of a bit nerve wracking as you want to do something good for them. In both cases the guests brought food but no presents. It involved heaps of coordination of who was bringing what so there were no double-ups etc. But yeah, the food was fantastic.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dana253876 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 July 2020 at 9:07am
Originally posted by clover clover wrote:

My brother got married at an afternoon reception at Wallaceville house, it was beautiful, cheaper than an evening reception and worked out cheaper than doing it themselves. Maybe look at the all inclusive places such as Wallaceville House, Kaitoke Country Gardens and The Lodge at the Inlet and consider options other than a Saturday evening and you'll find it is quite a bit cheaper, all inclusive would be a lot less stress for you also.


I have friends for whom the location is very important. They spent a lot of money to rent beautiful large premises, restaurants, pavilions near the ocean, etc. Everything is different for me. I believe that the most expensive thing at a wedding is a dress and an engagement ring. My husband and I have chosen a great option for rings from Australian jewelers, you can check here. My dress was made by a famous designer. I never regretted these expenses as I really felt like a queen on this day.
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