Whos got PND or PTSD?

Just wanted to say Welcome to this forum Nicandtyler.

Hi Escadachic. I don't have kindy or school aged children but I can imagine you are getting stressed and overwhelmed! Two kiddies, one school age and one bubs is HARD work. Do you have anyone you can ask to come and help you out for a day? I don't know about Wellington, but at Sylvia Park in Auckland you can go to the mall and put your older child in childcare for FREE for an hour and a half while you shop. Might just give you a break and a breather???

I am feeling quite over it today myself, and I only have one! Master 5 months is STILL waking once a night at least, but it is getting earlier and earlier, and this morning he woke again at 5am and wouldn't go back to sleep without feeding. Which is fine except then he wouldn't feed at 7am (wake up time), and then he didn't sleep for his morning nap either!!!!! ARGH, so annoying. I don't know how to get him to last longer at night or not too feed. I hate hearing him cry :-( He is due to go on solids soon but isn't showing all the signs so I don't want to rush into it hoping it will help. And what if when he is on solids it doesn't help!!!!! :-(

On top of that, I am tired of doing dishes, tired of vacuuming only for the dog to bring in MUD, and tired of continuous washing!!!!!!!

Just had to vent :-D

How old is your DS? Im presuming around 6 months if hes only starting on solids ? - Its completly normal to be feeding in the night at this age, and is nothing to do with u doing anything wrong. Babies that sleep through dont neseccarily do so cos the parents are doing something to make it hapen either. More of the Jan 2010 babies are being fed overnight than are sleeping through.
Sleep deprivation does suck big time tho. It definatly makes things worse for me. Im still pnd free this time, but I know sleep deprivation is a trigger, and how much sleep oIm ok on and what Im not- so I get help when Ive had less than I can cope on. Ive had 4 hrs sleep in a row a couple of times, but now more than that in 6 months! When we were getting down to 4 hrs total broken sleep per night thats when I really cant manage!

Hi Coopersmum! Good to see you hear hun!

I haven't posted in a while either. Things have been up and down here. I'm now up to 60mg of citalopram (3 tablets) and 50mg of seraquol (2 tablets). My mood is defo much improved, still have some anxiety about being around people who don't have PND, but I'm working on it on the days it feels manageable I do it - but on the bad days I'm still unplugging the phone and leaving the curtains closed to hide from the world....

Went to the paed for wee boy yesterday (he has really bad reflux) so came away feeling a little more reassured that what I was doing was on the right track.

First night on 2 seraquol tonight - I'm hoping for some excellent sleep!!

Right, so now I will attempt to re-write my original post.

For those who need them

1st_Time_Preggies. Sorry to hear you've been feeling not so great.

How I am, is good presently. I have been doing this:
moodgym It has helped a little.

I found the school holidays hard. Older DD was driving me up the wall! Had to resort to taking nearly all her toys away and her dvds and games, as an attempt to motivate her to behave better. Sometimes the behaviour improved, sometimes it went backwards. I'm supposed to start a parenting course soon. She had an assessment at CAHM's(child adolescent health and mental services) yesterday. They are going to get back to me about any more ideas they have for me. They have said her behaviour could be partly learning difficulties and partly environment, like at home. Currently she has reading recovery, some teacher aid help, a resource teacher assessing her and assisting teacher with ideas/strategies. Kind of makes me feel like a failure as a parent, her needing all this help. They have me doing extra stuff with her, as well as homework on weekdays. I was so glad to see the end of the school holidays. I did find them really testing. But I have a behaviour chart for her and sometimes she wants to get happy faces and behaves better and other times she just doesn't care. It's interesting to hear that some of her home behaviour, the not so great stuff is happening at school. It's hard not to take her acting out, as being somehow my fault.

Do any of you find that sometimes the PND cloud lifts and all seems well and then at times reality comes crashing down and suddenly you are back to feeling overwhelmed and depressed? Like sometimes, you cope so well and other times it's all falling apart?

I do feel like that at times. Right, I'm going to copy all my post now, in case my internet dies again. I would hate to lose 10+mins worth of writing again.

escadachic wrote: Do any of you find that sometimes the PND cloud lifts and all seems well and then at times reality comes crashing down and suddenly you are back to feeling overwhelmed and depressed? Like sometimes, you cope so well and other times it's all falling apart?

Absolutely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I thought I was totally over feeling anxious or down as things were going so well with my wee boy (he is just about six months). Then the night wakings started, and I got so damn tired, and yesterday he didn't feed properly, and I felt TOTALLY down and overwhelmed!!!!

However, he then ate solids in the evening and SLEPT THRU THE NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!

I know it is probably a fluke, but today I feel better again    Sleep so helps!!!!

Nathansmummy, I have been to the support group out West. It is good, but just such a long drive for me!!!! I so appreciate the online support, it is a godsend!!!!

1st time preg, i know exactly how you are feeling i am doing the up and down too at the moment, like today I am feeling really great and awesome, but I know it can just take one thing to bring me back down.

I found that strange too. When there are less people, however, she often would answer but instead of everyone chipping in it would just be the co-ordinator. I feel weird talking for 10mins without much feedback at all! And I feel like there's a lot of leaning on new age type philosophies rather than anything kind of concrete and practical that can help. Kind of a bit touchy-feely... which is fine but sometimes it's good just to share practical support.

That website I have noticed people don't post often. I don't know why! I guess we don't here either.

Thought I'd do an update too
It's really great to see people posting in here. Sometimes it feels like the board goes so quiet and I think "Really? Am I the only one?" so it's good to see some chatting

Well my baby isn't much of a baby anymore! She's 2 in a few months so I guess that puts me out of Post-Natal Depression and just into normal Depression. Not that that makes any difference except the support I get is from a different service (eg instead of maternal mental health it's just mental health). It is hard because all of a sudden it felt like the people we were getting help from forgot about bubs and that I was a mum, if that makes sense? When things are really bad and I've had to go away, I've had to leave Charli with other people which makes it really hard on both of us. Ah well at least we are still getting some help though

I am now just on two different types of meds- an anti-depressant called Mirtazepine which has only been used in NZ for like a year. I found the side effects were a lot worse than the other 4 I've been on, but the GOOD effects I've seen more of as well so I guess it's just a balance thing!

Even though little miss has really hit the terrible twos, I still find it easier at this age because she is so much more interactive. One of the things I felt the most when I was depressed was that Charli didn't love/need/want me and as little babies it is hard to know that sometimes, but now Charli has just learned to say "Mama!" which melts my heart every time and she is so much more...I dunno what the word is...affectionate maybe? Like she comes up to me and plonks herself down on my lap and cuddles up and stuff. Very cute hehehe

amme_eilyk wrote: how are you finding the normal mental health service as opposed to the maternity one, are they good or not quite as good?

I think there's good and bad bits to it.
The Good: They are a LOT more focused on the whole picture when it comes to dealing with things. I found I was always being told "Things will be back to normal and great once we get your meds sorted" with MMH so I had that attitude to when I was transferred to the other one, but they have a much more holistic view, like meds are only seen as part of the picture, not the major thing.

The Bad: Well for me it was hard feeling like the part of me that was a mother came second. I had always thought that once I got things sorted with Charli-Rose (eg felt confident with her and loved her to bits and could handle everything most of the time) that I would feel better, so not focusing on Charli was different and hard. Some of the things too, like support groups and even some of the meds, can't really work because I am a mum- I can't go along to exercise groups when I have DD and I can't be on meds that make me really sedated cuz I have to chase a toddler round!

It's also a bit scarier because a lot of the people in the service (particularly hospital which hopefully none of you will ever need to go to!) are really unwell and have been in and out of hospital for years so it can be a bit of a shock. It felt like with MMH pretty much everyone I met was likely to get better before they were discharged and there seemed to be a lot more hope, and a sense that things would get better sooner rather than later.

I hope it doesn't sound like I'm criticizing either of the services- am just noticing the differences

Hope everyone else is having an OK week! Boy I can't wait for the sun to come out more regularly again. I always feel better when it's warm and the days are longer and we can get outside.