Whos got PND or PTSD?

It will pass

, I was quite anxious and tired for first couple of weeks but does get better.
I found too my anxiety was pretty bad for first couple of days since i was anxious about being on the pills in first place , pretty ironic really. i even rung my doctor on day two since i was having mass panic attack and thought there must be something wrong with me.

Are you on clonazepam for when you have panic atacks?

Soon you will feel heaps better.


I also found i got a few headaches too for first week.

Is your other half being supportive? Can you manage to have naps if you need to?

Thats good thats you are managing to get out and about!
I love going to the beach, it always chills me out.

Thats great that you have support., its always nice being able to sleep in. I had big probs getting up and getting kids sorted for first while so it was nice to get the help.

How many other kids do you have?

ah i love the beach , there is not much better than swimming in the ocean.
sadly willow is so not a water baby and its all we can do to get her to have a bath!

So your house is pretty busy too mine are 9 and 6. Yay my grandparents have taken them out for day so just willow today, very quiet, but they will be back shortly.

Have sore jaw today which is making me paranoid about having tooth infection (even though my teeth dont hurt) which is making me anxious argh.
feel like hiding in bed until pain goes. so hoping its just temporary pain.

wow Rachel, you are very brave, sounds like a full house! where are you from? i think the biggest thing would me to make sure you get some you time & do something nice for yourself EVERY day. i know that can be hard but that can be the best thing sometimes

I have PND and am now having to continue my citalopram through this pregnancy as well (I told the GP I saw that maternal mental health said that I need to continue if I got pregnant .... she knew nothing about citalopram I think!). Feel a bit stink that bubs is exposed to a drug but apparently its the safest.

I bet there are other mums who have had to take it through a second pregnancy too?

Hey ya'll,

like with some of the others PND hit around 4 months. I knew it might come, but thought that it would have hit around 3 months. I never went for diagnosis, because I was suffering from anxiety as well and didn't want to have it in my records in case my husband ever left me or they would deem me unfit. Also I have had bad previous experiences with medication. Yes the Prozac era, where you think you are going mad while you are taking something that is suppose to make you feel better.

Luckily I knew I had no control over my birth as I had diabetes and was in the hands of strangers. I can even see the funny side. -- The anesthetist was soo cute, I could not believe I thought that while I was screaming in agony about to give birth to my daughter.

Like a previous post my mother and mother in law do not understand depression and neither does my husband. "If you think happy thoughts, you will be happy" and "doesn't maddy make you happy".

GUILT made it worse. And EXPECTATIONS of others even more. And no support the PITS.

I even use to get too scared to pick maddy up because I thought I might hurt her. I hated crying in front of her and I use to cry heaps while driving. I even got to the point where I wanted to drop maddy off and drive off a cliff.

Lucky my brother suffers from bi-polar and had started counselling. I decided to do the same. We manily concentrated on the "I am a GOOD mother" kind of thing. But at least I had someone to talk to but even still I never told her everything as I just didn't trust anyone.

We got Sharlene the baby whisperer in to help with maddy, which was a big help. But any little thing can set me off and I still cannot cope with bad experiences.

One day at a time.

*puts her hand up*
Gosh I wasnt even aware that there was this section of the forums.

Ive had PND from the day Thomas was born and it's still going hard. I'm trying to be a crazy hippy and not take meds - I dont believe they work for me (not saying they dont work for everyone else!)

Bit about me and how this works:
I 29, and had been with my husband for 6 months before getting accidentally pregnant. He was overjoyed - I however was not. I wanted kids, but I am, at this time in my life far too selfish to be wanting to take care of another little life that cant do anything for itself. So we battled on - the relationship grew stronger bla bla bla, but my resentment towards my unborn child got worse. When I found out I was preg, I was too far along to be able to have an abortion - which is what would have happened if we'd known sooner. I never wanted (and still dont) to hurt my son - either inside or outside, and I know I never would, but my gosh. lol.. We got to about 7 months down the track and i decided I was going to start pushing for a caesar because of my back problems - we pushed and pushed and pushed but no matter how many times I went to my appointments in a wheelchair or was crying or yelling or whatever, the obst wouldnt give in. He kept telling me that they'd make me nice and comfortable with an epi and off i'd go.

Now, part of my problem is that I ALWAYS get what I want. And for some little smart mouthed bastard in a white coat to tell me that I cant do what I know is best for my body - I was extremely angry. I think from that time onwards I knew I was starting to get depressed - my Husband knew as well. He was great tho, nice and supportive.
So the doctor decided that I was allowed (check that crap out - allowed) to be enduced a week earlier. So in I went on the 22nd of may, all ready for whatever. It failed. I stayed in overnight - they discovered that I was just having an irritable uterus. My midwife just said to me that we'd try again in the morning. They booted Matt out early as they were busy - they got a mouth full of abuse from me about that - and I stayed there, in pain all damned night.
So they sent me home in the morning - midwife decided this - in her infinite wisdom - was the best thing to do for me. I wasnt tired, I was angry.
They made me wait another week until they'd do it again, so I went thru that whole week having contractions all day every day. No-one listened to me when I was screaming down the phone at them to get me in and give me a caesar.
So back we went, got the 2nd backup MW this time who was lovely. She did all the bizzo and managed to break my waters. 18 hours after doing this, I was still at the same stage - 3cm dilated. I was really, really pissed off at everyone, I just wanted it to all be over. After the 50 millionth person came to inspect the bits and pieces, I pretty much told them that if they didnt give me what I wanted, then I was going to up and leave - and I was quite serious. I think if it wasnt for my mum also being there - both her and Matt had to sleep on the floor the whole night because they wouldnt give them blankets - I would have unhooked myself from all the crap they had me attached to and walked out the door.
Thomas was born an hour later.

So now we get to all the rest of the drama.
I stayed at chch womans for the day and overnight - encountered the most retarded nurse in the whole world.. 'Why is your baby screaming! You should have got up and fed him' honestly, if I could have, something would have been thrown at her lol. Not only could I still not walk unassisted, She'd previously moved the call remote out of my reach.

Matt took me to Rangiora hospital the next day for my compulsary 3 day stay in hell.
I arrived there - they had no idea i was coming as the nurse that took the message when chch rang had gone on break and not told anyone - so I was without a room and food. Was totally starving. I had to sit in the waiting room until they'd sorted their crap out - with my day old baby in his car seat screaming. All I wanted to do was have a coffee and a cigarette and go home to my own bed. But no, no coffee for me, no cigarettes on the hospital grounds (which is fair enough - although the visitors to other patients were smoking outside the lounge area) and I was NOT allowed to go home.
My first night all I did was cry. I hadnt produced any colostrum, and they were forcing me to try and feed Thomas. I tried to tell them that my boobs were empty. So Thomas started screaming. He screamed until about 4am when I decided I was going to go home by myself and leave him there. I think I got as far as the wee car park outside before they hauled me back inside and told me to stop acting like such a baby. I rang Matt and told him that I wanted to come home. Couldnt do it. They wouldnt let him take me. I had to go thru 2 more days of other peoples children screaming and yelling inside the hospital while me and my baby were trying to sleep. They wanted to keep me there longer because they thought that I was.. not an unfit mother, because I wasnt.. but I had an 'anger' problem apparently. So they wanted to observe me more. my MW sent me home.
5 mins after walking thru the front door, my nanna arrived and I had to sit and entertain her for hours. She's really old and had it (had a stroke) and I couldnt do anything else but have her there.
Once she went home, I just burst into tears, and still havent really stopped 9 months down the track :)
I have up days and down days and I still get really angry for no reason and want to run away or throw a big paddy or something else like that - but i'm always there for Thomas.
It took a good 4 months for me to be able to accept the fact that he was here and he wasnt going anywhere. Sometimes i'd happily give him away and not even think about it. I guess thats just part of it, isnt it.
Its getting less and less now anyway - I'm apparently one of the lucky ones considering what i'd been through. I love him so much and I wouldnt be without him. Funny huh? Considering I didnt even really want him. He makes me smile when I'm really upset and makes me laugh with his cheeky grin and I love how he gets so excited to see me when he wakes up in the morning.

So thats me, thats how I got to be where I am.

hi ladies, just wanted to say it is very brave of you to tell us your story & we are here to listen. Time out doesn't seem to work well at the 15mth age i found out so what else could i do but smack him? My personal opinion is that a little smack (i would never beat my child) never hurt me, so why would it kill my son?

*hugs* miz Jadey :D You'll just have to come to chch and move in with me :P

You're doing a great job as a mum - after everything you've been thru and all your ups and downs. You produced one lovely little man!

I had written this HUGE post and when to send it and realized that my internet cord had fallen out!!! How annoying

But it went something like this!

*HUGS* to Leelee

And also congrats on Baby Alex

How are you feeling since you started your meds Lea?

I cant believe that nobody didn't listen to you when you where having trouble with ur milk etc

I BF, I had sore nipples and my let down was painful, and my son was feeding every hour for ages but he was just a piggy! so i was lucky in that department but it was very tiring, some days i wouldn't wait till he was finished as soon as he was asleep i would take him off, actually i did that a lot, I couldn't be bothered sitting in one place for ages so as soon as he was asleep and stopped sucking i would take him off the boob,

My pregnancy was alright, it had its ups and downs

Im a single mother and left my ex the day i found out i was pregs, I didnt no what i wanted to do, My nan is old school and thinks that you should be married before you have children. so she said that i should have an abortion. But im so glad that i didnt and she is glad that i never had an abortion aswell.

I had my heart set on a little girl, and everyone was tell me that i was having a little girl as well, but when i went for my scan and found out that i was having a little boy, i cried for hours and wanted to get rid of my baby, that i hadnt even met yet, i was ready to pack my bags and go to Aussie as i herd that they do them after so many months, I feel bad thinking that as i no that there are ladies out there that cant have babys or have lost a baby so thats just me being selfish! as i like getting my own way and throw tantrums if i dont .

When i was about 30 weeks i had an argument with my father and he said some hurtful things which made me want to kill my self and my baby, he was going to punch me so i told him to punch my tummy so we both would die, but he ended up hitting me over the head with a rolling pin - i was fine just a bump on the head

Then when i was about 36 weeks i had a run in with my Uncle, and it got violent and he went to hit me! there was alot of pushing etc. lucky my nan told him to leave me alone otherwise im not sure what would have happend!!

Edited by Jadeybabe