TTC after miscarriage/loss

I dont think its bad to vent on here. Its the only safe place I had when I was at my lowest, darkest point and only other ladies here understand. I know I couldnt talk to my hubby and mum was awful so this kept me going and sane. Vent away!

Thanks ladies! I agree animaxnz…. I couldn't talk to hubby. I felt like if I said the words out loud I would lose control. AS it was I was still having mini breakdowns (floods of tears unexpectedly) etc but I felt like once the flood gates opened fully I might have a full break down. Silly as that sounds but it helped me get through a dark time! And in fact you guys still help me!!!! Love you all.

NZveg, I'm chart stalking you.... Yes... Again ;) IYay! Ov any day now for you! xx
Hope the exercise has been going well too!!

How are you doing A.girl? Bleeding stopped yet? Was sounding promising, so I'm hoping it has stopped for you! :)

Happy Easter everyone else!! Hopefully the Easter Bunny brings some sticky BFP's ;)

I am still just taking it day by day... Every time I go to the bathroom is a heart racing, nerve wracking, ordeal... And then, assuming the next 7 weeks go well and the 1st trimester comes to a close, I have the 12 week scan to get through (which has not gone well in the past for me, as you may recall)... I'm so happy to have a BFP, don't get me wrong... But it sucks how previous m/c's and loss takes away all your naivety! To the point that you can't enjoy future pregnancies! Like, don't you ladies feel ripped off?? (I do)

I don't want to sound like someone who always finds somthing to complain about.. As only a few weeks ago I was complaining about my poor luck TTC this year, after 3 BFP's last year... It's just such a long (mentally and physically draining) journey though! And I know this is a safe non-judgemental place to vent! :)

K, I'm going to go eat some choccy now :)

Happy Easter lovelies
X

Oh NZveg, I can totally relate... It's awful isn't it... The morning of the day I got my BFP one of my good friends got a BFP too, she literally had been off the pill for 3.5 weeks before she got her BFP... I was at work and she sent me a pic of her positive HPT and I got tears welling (not tears of joy either, tears of frustration and resentment at the world...), then I felt compelled to test, and that's when I got a BFP (which helped ease the pain, quite significantly, haha) but I have to say, I'm still slightly resentful and bitter (argh, I am horrible I know..) because I just think "I bet hers will stick and be the perfect pregnancy and she'll enjoy every second" and she should, everyone deserves to, and I feel so bitter and twisted thinking that way, because I wouldn't wish a loss on anyone, it's just that I guess I see me having a loss before her... Making it my 4th loss. As much as I hope and pray I won't! I feel like a bad friend. But m/c screws with your mind!!! And even though I LOVE my friend, I also think 'It's not fair that she just gets to click her fingers when I know so many ladies (in this forum especially) who deserve that BFP and that sticky baby!! And ladies who are working hard for it!' Grrr...

You'll find a way to cope and you'll be a better person for it nz veg. I'm sorry to hear that you are having a hard time though. It's so hard being happy for others, and you shouldn't feel at all guilty about it. It's such a hard journey that so few actually understand. I've been around dh's family all wknd and his sis is due for a c section next Thursday. All I think about when they talk is how I was sitting in the hospital having my baby removed jyst days before :-( I've left the room many at a times to cope! We also just watched a doc about babies born with genetic disorders and had to listen to all the naive flippant comments about it. Grrr. If only they knew...

So glad to hear you are doing well a.girl!
I'm feeling a bit better now. Had a good cry with a friend. Just letting it out that I'm not feeling great really helps!!
Starting an 8 week healthy lifestyle challenge tomorrow. I took it on to focus my energy on something positive so should be good!
I think it's really hard being around pregnant woman when you've had a m/c. Especially as people can be so insensitive.

So glad you're feeling well agirl. Hope you other ladies have been able to enjoy the long weekend regardless of the tough situation everyone's in....Charly, so happy for you but completely get that you're terrified. NZveg I think it was you that said about you're terrified of being pregnant but desperately want it at the same time - I feel exactly the same.
Charly did you have to push your GP to arrange the regular HCG bloods? Have you had one miscarriage in the past or multiple? Great that you are able to keep an eye on HCG x

I tried it mac, but no amount of acupuncture would cure my problem! However, I did get a bfp the only month I was doing acupuncture.

Seaview and Animax, how are you girls getting on?

Charly, how are you feeling? I hope you are relaxing a bit more as every successful day passes.

Nzveg, that was my attitude about acupuncture... until I realized I was spending $75 a week on it! Eeep. Not an expense to be taken lightly. But if I could do it cheaper (I had to drive an hour every time!), then I would be doing it now, too. Tans, who was on here about 9 months ago (she's due any day now!!!) used to swear by it and conceived whilst doing it.

Anyway... back from our visit to our farm in the Coromandal. Such a lovely place! I got my referral finally to see the genetic counsellors on the 23rd of May - at first it seemed like ages away, but then I realized it's only a month. Man!!! This year has flown by. On the same note, I found out that the doc made a typo when indicating which chromosomes the translocation was between and it makes a huge difference. It pretty much means we don't have any increased risk of downs and that most genetically abnormal embryos will miscarry. So it sounds like the risk of having a baby with genetic problems is actually quite low with my exact translocation. It still, however, means I will have lots of mc's :-(

Thanks for asking a.girl. I had my first drs apt today, a fill in for my usual dr - he had to be in his 80's. Got a bfp at the drs so managed to get him to organise a dating scan for me. Told my boss on Sunday, I had full body shakes and could stop crying, so embarrassing considering it is a good thing but talking about the mc still obviously affects me. Love the new ticker and it sounds good that there is no higher chance of downs. I hope the meeting with your specialist goes well.