TTC after miscarriage/loss

If there's anyone out there TTC after a loss, I'm keen to get a little support group going...particularly anyone in Auckland :-)



Edited by ZethansMum - 29 October 2015 at 8:44am

Hi all,

I feel super sad to be joining this forum but hey talking heals so here I am! I just went for our first scan this morning, what was meant to be a 12 week, and was sadly told that bubs had passed at 8 weeks It's all a bit surreal at the mo, because I haven't felt a thing, so weird. We are so blessed to already have 2 beautiful healthy children so this I guess was natures way of telling us this bub just wasn't healthy. What makes it suck even more is that we had taken our kids to the scan to tell them our amazing news, and then we were told that news instead. Our son took it so well, such a lil champ, but our little girl was really quite sad bless her little heart. BUt we figure that it is all learning for our kids and they are still just so excited about the fact that they are actually going to get a new sibling at some stage!

So the situation is that I am going for a second opinion scan on Monday morning, then off the hospital to sign forms etc, and then the procedure will be on Tuesday. I am a bit scared, but I don't want my body to pass it naturally because that would just be so devastating for me.

How long did you ladies wait till you started trying again? I know in my heart of hearts that bubs obviously wasn't healthy and that's why this happened, so I feel comfortable in the notion of trying again as soon as it's safe to.

Thanks ladies and looking forward to healing with others in the same position!
x

I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this. It really is a horrible thing to find ourselves joining this forum isn't it?! Yeah, I agree, talking has certainly been helpful for me. We lost our little boy 3 months ago, he was 13 days old when he died. He was our first. We have just recently decided to start trying again as the desire to start a family certainly hasn't changed.

Thanks Amie. It's hard to be patient! Obviously we went through the ttc process, then a 9 month pregnancy, now we're back to the beginning again...its a long journey to have a baby in our arms! It will happen, but not the easiest of journeys. I can't begin to understand how hard it must be with your situation with IVF Amie. I really hope that next time round you have a better outcome. It's amazing how despite the fact that we can all relate to loss, everyone's stories are similar but also so different.

Mami & Amie, I'm so sorry to you both for your losses. Wishing you both all the support on this journey and rainbow babies at the end of it! xx

Hi ladies,

Sorry for late replies! I sat and cried all day Friday, and Friday night I sat in my head all night thinking about all of the things I am sure whirled around in every one of your heads too! And flicking through the 100's of movies on Netflix and not one of them I could decide to watch.
Yesterday we had a beautiful day, I felt like fishing so hubby got everything ready and off we went. Although we only went to the wharf and caught sprats etc, everyone was smiling, the kids were having a blast and I didn't think about a thing. Then we had trick or treat with my best friend and her kids, so an awesome night to top off a beautiful day.
This morning I woke up, in my head again, and thought I had better check to see if there were any replies on here, drinking my first coffee in 3 months, and I am so pleased to find such beautiful words of support, but sad at the experiences that you guys had had to endure also

ZethansMum, honestly chick you must be the strongest lady on the planet, I feel my loss is so tiny compared to yours. To carry a baby for 9 months, only to have to say goodbye must be the hardest thing in the world. I know as a mum already, the attachment formed is so strong and so real, I couldn't even imagine the pain and sense of emptiness you and your partner would have gone through. I am so sorry for your loss and I am sure that you guys will have a healthy baby soon. I am keen to keep in touch and support each other as much as we can, don't have FB, I can't stand it but even if we talk on here, or email. We can now head towards the next part of this crazy journey together, TTC for our next bub xx

Amie, thank you so much for your kind words and I too like you, am stuck on the fact that I was ready for there to be a baby here in May, and now there won't be Plus our little girl turns 5 in June, so of course for us now there is going to be an even bigger gap, as our son is 8! Luckily for us we started having children young, however I honestly didn't think I would be having another child after Mali had already started school.
Wow IVF is such an amazing thing, I am an early childhood teacher, in an under 2's room, and as part of the job I suppose, we are exposed to so much of the heartache involved with families TTC naturally and then needing to head down alternative paths like yourself. I do truly feel that I once took having babies for granted, and after this wee curve in my journey I now know nature has other ideas. I look forward to hearing how the next round goes with the frozen embryo, science is so incredible and I really hope this one sticks and you guys get your beautiful bub. I have been part of so many families lives through children I look after and almost all of them have had great success through IVF, even if it was second time round. My thoughts are with you guys xx

Lesh, thank you for popping in and sharing your words of support. It is comforting to know that there are ladies who have been in the same boat that have come out the other side full of positivity and ready to take this baby cooking thing head on! So are you on the other thread, are you waiting for a BFP or have you got one already? Through the thick of it all it is actually still really exciting xx

Karenka, thank you for your support too and boy I am so impressed with your strength and will after 4 mc you are truly an inspiration. With already having a child, it must have come as a great shock to lose your second, as it was for us with this one. Is there nothing that can be done medically to help baby stick, forgive my ignorance but I am not knowledgeable in this at all. Its awesome you are able to get pregnant naturally, however so interesting they don't hold on/and or there doesn't seem to be anything Dr's can do? xx

Thanks again ladies, love and light heading everyone's way!

Hi guys,
I'm new to this forum, and negotiating it on an iPad so hopefully I've posted in the correct place.
We had a MC in May at 8 weeks.. We're really lucky we've already got one lovely little boy who's 14 months old.
I was administered misoprostol and it didn't go too well, minus the details, I have questions for you all... We've concieved twice extremely easily and now after this MC in May we're still waiting for our BFP... I'm concerned something has gone astray ... Anyone else have similar issues?
Nice to be able to chat about this all with those that get it, MC is so lonely... Xx

Karenka, thanks for your reply..
I've been to the doctor and they said it was all normal.. Not feeling that I was taken overly seriously though so I've booked a specialist appointment etc.. My cycle is all over the show now so I'm charting and using opks... I've gone from having a lovely 28 day cycle to jumping from 24-33! I'm going to go and have accupuncture this week, might help get my body back on track as I feel so out of sorts..
I agree talking to people and sharing your experiences with others is so much better (for me) than staying quiet about it.

Hi 2Furbabies,
I'm new to this forum as well.
When you say medical termination is this with drugs? I am not sure of the correct lingo but just thought I would add my experiences. We had a miscarriage at 8 weeks and were given the choice of misoprostol (drugs inserted in your vagina so you can miscarry at home) or a D&C. Misoprostol really wasn't pleasant for us, passing clots and bleeding a lot at home all night was pretty traumatic, I unfortunately had a bad reaction and ended up in hospital anyway. Personally I would rather go into hospital, go to sleep and wake up and have it all done.. But that's only through my experience.
Really sorry to hear what's happening with you, very sad news for you. Wishing you all the best X

That's such a tough thing you have to deal with, my heart goes out to you.
i can understand that it's pretty scary going under, if it was me it would be the best options though. Have you got lots of support? X