TTC after miscarriage/loss

Hi ladies,

Sorry for my absence, I have only just today felt ok to get up and do "a few bits and bobs", since my D&C on Tuesday. Today was the first day I was allowed to drive so did the school and daycare drop and all is well so far. Mentally I am feeling awesome, and almost a sense of freedom. I didn't think I would feel this way so soon. But I believe my sadness was due to the loss of the 'idea' the idea there would be a baby here in May, the idea my kids would have a new sibling, and most importantly that there had been a baby inside of me with no heartbeat for nearly 5 weeks without me even knowing. All of this caused my sadness, of cause I grieve for my baby, however I am very positive and a realist so I know that it just wasn't meant to be this time around. I am in a little bit of pain, however they give heaps of pain relief, and the bleeding is pretty much gone! So i'm on track so far. Just no baths or swims or lovin until Wed next week haha. I was packing myself before the op as have never been under GA, but the anesthetist was so lovely and I meet my surgeon who was such a cool chick, about the same age as me so I just had to relax and trust in them. I went to sleep and before I knew it I was awake in recovery doing well, they got all of the tissue out with no probs at all. I lost around 300mls during the op, however was told no biggy, just to monitor loss at home etc, however like I said it has pretty much stopped so they must have done a really thorough job.

ABC, so sorry to hear of your loss, it sucks big time a!!! Unfortunately some men deal with things by burying their head in the sand, which more often than not my hubby does the same, with this however he has been totally different. He even went to work and talked to 'the boys' about it, he is a builder. And he ended up having a really awesome man talk with one of the guys who turns out his wife has had a couple, his advice to my hubby "bro, she doesn't need you to to fix it, she doesn't want you to fix anything, she just needs you to be there". Pretty impressive I reckon! Anyway, my point of telling you is because if your hubby is in a working environment where he can chat with the boys etc, maybe suggest he talks about it, and see if he can get his own support network happening? And I agree with Karenka in that it is natural to feel awkward and jealous, however I believe strongly in not holding on to things we can't change, because that can become even more so crippling than the original event, if that makes sense? Trust me, I have had so many emotional things happen in my life in the last 4-5 years, I have had to adapt this belief to keep faith in humanity haha. Stay strong doll xxx

Indigo, so sorry to have another chicky hop on this forum same time as me, I am so sorry for your loss also. And having a child already seems to help somewhat though don't you think? I look at my two kids everyday know and think, omg I really really truly do not know what I would do without you guys right now! I too have no knowledge of MC causing infert, however if your cycles are all over the show, something like naturopathic support or like you say acupuncture should help that out heaps

2furkids, wow your story made me cry, I wouldn't like to feel in limbo about that either Personally after meeting at the Early Pregnancy clinic up at MMH with the nurse who organises everything and hearing the 3 options, I do believe in instances like ours (as we are similar however my baby passed on it's own) that D&C is the best option because as Indigo said earlier, the drugs can cause even more side effects, and if all tissue doesn't pass, you will end up having D&C anyways. My midwife told me that it is easy to conceive after D&C because body goes back to normal much quicker etc. If that is a consideration for you, as I know not everyone is comfortable ttc so soon. If you want to talk anymore about the actual procedure just ask hun, I am happy to help, especially since I had a good experience, double edged sword isn't it, saying MMC and good experience in the same sentance

Big loves to all xxx

Nellenniium - I am the same, after conceiving two times straight away I'm still not pregnant five months later... It's worrying me! Imdidnt have a D&C though, I had drugs, hemmoraged and then had forceps in hospital to remove tissue (sorry tmi). I'm seeing a specialist in a month (long wait) to have a check up.. Have you been for any check ups? I've had a look at Ashermans, I did have a c section 14 months ago up but hoping it's all ok.

Oh Indigo, such a horrible experience for my first missed miscarriage I also choose drug induced (misoprostol). I reacted badly as well, ended up in the ED doped up on morphine. I randomly without warning spewed all over their tea and coffee making sink!! Haha oops. (I have a weird sense of humour, I don't mean to make light of the actual situation, sorry if I offend anyone).

I wasn't hemorrhaging (that time) and was so traumatised I refused an emergency D&C. I ended up passing all tissue naturally a week later at home. BUT! I also had retained product it caused me to bleed (but not dangerously) for 33 days, at which point I got my period and the remaining product cleared out in a very heavy and long period. I came right after that

Have you had your period? Has your body been cycling since your D&C? Ashermans is generally when you have scar tissue that prevents your lining working as intended and you don't get your period, you can still ovulate but there's no lining for anything to embed into, so you lose any potential pregnancies.

Do you chart? I should check the charting girls thread.... yes I see you're in there too! Hard to keep up with every thing on here! Charting is really really useful to see what's going on Also gives you a way to be proactive while you're waiting for damn appointments! I feel like I am always waiting for my next appointment. Yes I was under my local hospital obstetric care, currently I'm on the recommended plan of take aspirin daily and get pregnant, then get referred back to them at 12 weeks after weekly monitoring until then via scans. Dang I could talk forever There's a lot more to it than that. But I don't want to take up the whole screen!! Most of my details can be seen on my chart homepage

2furkids, my heart is absolutely breaking for you I hope whatever you choose goes as smoothly as it can for you, if you have any questions about anything at all ask away. Nothing is TMI on here I have 2 friends that choose to end their pregnancies in the second trimester, they both have accounts on here, if you'd like their usernames PM me xx

Hey 2furkids,

Just wondering how you are doing? Things have been quiet on this thread last few days so I hope everyone is doing ok?

x

2furkids I was in the Due in May group with you for a very short time and just wanted to say I am so sorry you are going through this. Never question how you are feeling as there is no right way to feel or think with what you are going through and you will be an amazing mother I am sure. It's really not fair :(

2Furkids - I think it's a really normal feeling to feel.. When I was first pregnant it didn't feel real for my whole pregnancy! It still didn't feel real once they handed me our son.. And it still didn't feel real weeks later! I think guilt is a massive part of motherhood, so however you're feeling is perfectly normal and to feel guilty about different things is also completely normal. When I was pregnant at the beginning of the year I selfishly thought things like, oh god I don't want to feel another c section, have sleeplessness nights and lose my social life again... And then I miscarried I felt even worse about thinking those things... Seriously, your thoughts are normal.. Just feel good about yourself X

I'm so glad to hear that kumeroa, have also been following your updates in the forum topics, glad that they saved the tube - what is your plan going forward?

That's crappy odds! Do they have any idea why it happened a second time? When do you think you will start TTC again?

Hi everyone,

So sorry I haven't been around for awhile...been a busy week or so. Wow, as much as it's so sad that this group's activity has increased, it's also nice that the support network is here and active.

Huge welcome and hugs to those I haven't 'met'. I'm so sorry for your losses, and your current difficult journeys. Everyone's story and situation is so hard, and I don't believe we can really measure grief; a loss is a loss...no matter when it happens, or whatever the circumstances surrounding it. Each has it's own individual challenges.

I've just joined an university study for women trying to conceive. It means I can't get pregnant for a month so we're having a break for a few weeks. Back into it next month though!

I'm going to start a Facebook group soon...see if we can get a little community of support growing...

Oh hope you're doing as well as possible. Glad it went ok... Just give your cycle time, I got my period two weeks later but im taking some time to conceive this time around, probably emotional stress.. So if you can relax that's the best thing I think xx