TTC after miscarriage/loss

Aw honey Im so sorry - its an awful feeling to go have scan and not see a heartbeat. I totally also know how you feel knowing your baby is dead inside you. I lost my daughter at 37 weeks and she was dead inside me for 4 days before I final gave birth, its heart breaking! In so many ways you just want them gone in other ways you don't.

I know I, like many others were desperate to fall pregnant again after our losses, its is very healing! I hope you get your dream of a kiwi baby!

Hi Jes,

That's awesome you have made a couple of friends, but yeh I can totally relate to the 'so not sure what to say' awkwardness! None of my friends have been through it either, so yes, it was really hard. I just did a lot of crying, days worth. And took a week off work, which I probably should have done 2 I think, just because of the emotional healing. My physical healing wasn't too bad at all to be honest. I only bleed heavy on the day of the op, and then another 3 or so days worth of light bleeding after that.
I was VERY stuck on the baby being dead inside me too, I couldn't believe it had been so long and I had no idea. I did read a beautiful thing about MMC's, that the mother's maternal instinct must have been so strong that it just was not prepared to let the baby go, so I hold onto that as a positive

Yes TTC definitely was my healing, there was no way I was going to wait as such, although the first cycle after was a bit of a write off due to healing physically etc. But after my first period (after D&C) we officially started. A lot of people get pregnant straight away, my body had other ideas haha. We are in Auckland, soon to relocate to Tauranga! Can't wait!

Yes the op was definitely as straight forward as they said, I lost a little bit of blood but nothing they were worried about. I was really scared and anxious, but you get to meet your surgeon before hand, and she was a lovely young chick so I could really relate to her, and she was so sweet, she told me they would take great care. And after the op they came to see me in recovery and told me they had a really good go at it and got everything as far as they were concerned, so I was really happy with that.
I went straight home from hospital after recovery and just slept for hours. Then cried some more, and then cried some more. Hubby cried, then I cried, and then after a couple of weeks I was back to my normal self!!   

All the best for tomorrow, I'll be thinking of you! Once your feeling good, let us know how your doing ok!

Big big big hugs

Hi ladies. I'm back from my D&C and actually doing surprisingly well. We had quite a long wait which was rough because I just wanted this nightmare to be all over with. My husband was great and we made the most of our time together. The procedure was over before I knew it and I woke up in recovery pretty quickly. They had per our request placed the remains in a box that was at the foot of my bed. It was hard to see that and I got teary eyed but also relieved it was over and I can start the process of healing. I've always loved my husband deeply and I don't know if this terrible experience was supposed to bring us even closer, but it has and I'm looking for the positives in this situation so I'll take it. I'm bleeding quite heavily as expected but laying low and waiting for a few friends to drop dinner off for us later. I'm feeling so much more hopeful than I was the last few days. I was in such a daze and actually hated that the sun was shining. When we left the hospital I commented on how nice the sun felt and the breeze driving home with the windows down.
I'm working on our little ceremony that we'll have for our baby. I've written down my thoughts and wanted to come up with a poem or something that we could frame and have as a reminder.
What have you chosen to do or make/buy as a reminder of your little one?
Hope you all are having a good day. I'm blessed to have had the chance and I know I'll get my time again. The doctor was the first person to say that I could go ahead after 2 weeks and that in his opinion women are very fertile after a D&C. I do think we'll wait 1 cycle just for peace of mind. I don't want to increase the chances of being back in this situation again so soon. I'm strong but don't want to push it:)

Tonight we had a nice burial ceremony under a tree on Mount Victoria in Wellington. Sweet words were said, candles lit, and prayers offered up. We carved a heart with RIP and the date we found out there was no heartbeat. It was so so so sad but we both needed a good cry together. We now have a place to visit and it's time to move forward with hope but never forgetting.

Hi Ladies. I recognise a few of you from other forums and pages (Hi Anthea!)....

I just had a miscarriage (3rd) on Monday, but this time it was different for us. My first two were from non-viable embryos. This time, we had a healthy baby, had a great scan with a great heartbeat last Monday (8w2d), but by Wednesday had developed a large sub chorionic hemorrhage. Had a scan Thursday which diagnosed it but baby was still healthy. Ended up in the ED at hospital on Friday night with terrible pain, had a scan which showed a reduced heartbeat and then a scan this Monday morning sadly showing baby had no heartbeat and that baby stopped growing at 9w1d so Sunday. By 1.30pm I had taken Misoprostol, but had a bad reaction and within 10 minutes I was back in the ED after suffering a seizure from hyperventilating because of pain which came on so strong and fast I went into shock. By 8.30pm on so many IV painkillers I had passed out baby and the placenta (which was actually cathartic being able to see and have closure compared to my previous early miscarriages which were just blood really). And was out of hospital yesterday evening.

Now I'm just feeling f****d off and frustrated that I have to start at the beginning again with fertility treatments.

Hey Mami, yeah it was on the 2 week wait forum... guess I will be back there soon enough.

I would like to start trying again, I don't cope well with waiting. But I'm uncertain about TTC when HCG is still in your system?

I see a few of you ahve talked about being very fertile after a D&C, does a D&C make your HCG drop down really quick or something? I thought it took weeks for HCG to get back to normal?

Aw mount I'm so sorry - that's just so unfair xxx I've only just clicked who you are - how are you feeling now?

2furkids - how are you doing? How far along now?? That was a late miscarriage! I'm so sorry - what happened??

Anthea I'm over 13 weeks now, our baby was diagnosed with trisomy 18, so we made the decision to end the pregnancy due to the poor prognosis. Unfortunately the combined screening came back low risk anyway so this time we have opted to pay for prenatal screening which had a higher detection rate. Happy to say that it has just come back all clear!

Mount, I was told if still bleeding after 2 weeks to see my GP and get hcg levels checked, to see that they are dropping, just be firm with what you want if you feel you need it, I don't believe in overtesting for things.

There are risks with everything, I had the choice of a D&C when I was first admitted to hospital and said no as well, something that I often think about now.. But i figure at some stage I'll have another little baby in my arms and that will be the baby that I was meant to have. My mum miscarried between my brother and I, and if she hadn't then I wouldn't be here.. I try to think like that .. I say try because it's bloody hard.
I can totally understand not wanting to deal with everything at the wedding... Have a good sleep tonight and see how you feel tomorrow xx

PS. So glad to see your tests came back all clear 2FurKids