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Paws
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Topic: Acceptable or kinda rude? Posted: 09 June 2008 at 12:09pm |
Ok so short version...in the last couple of months I've two incidents that have left me kind of upset.
The first was finding out people who were meant to be good friends, who'd recently stayed with even had secretly gotten married. No worries there. What disturbed me was finding out on a Facebook status update. I was left wondering WTF? Is this normal ettiquette now? I would have thought at least an email or even a text people would have better. (especially to the people who had been told they would be bridesmaids only to find out they wouldn't be after all through same said status update.)
Now last night I've found out that someone I thought I was best friends with, a guy who had flown back from Korea for my wedding, who I used to be close to and we used to share and confide in each other lots, a guy who was like my big little brother, has gotten engaged. Wanna know how I found out? Yup. Facebook. Relationship status update flicked up.
I know in this last case it could also be a reflection of us growing apart. His new fiance is *very* much the sterotypical and proper Christian girl who has not been comfortable with how close M and I were and that fact that we would hug hello or goodbye and therefore M has been pulling away...but still.
I'm left wondering, has modern communication got to a point that such important announcements to close friends, such as weddings or engagments can can be announced to everyone on FB and be considered polite and normal ettiquette?
Am I being too precious over this or would others be hurt/upset as well??
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Maya
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Posted: 09 June 2008 at 12:13pm |
i think i'd be hurt/upset. I was pretty cross when I thought Toni was announcing a pregnancy on here last week without telling me first
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almostthere
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Posted: 09 June 2008 at 12:13pm |
Ok everyone feels differently about these things. Just recently in fact I found out that a very good friend of mine has married. I saw her pics on Facebook before I saw them anywhere else..
TO me, it doesnt matter. People get so busy these days and calling all your friends can be expensive, so leaving it to face book etc I think is reasonable.. Your other friends that married: well, they probably had a very small wedding and went on honeymoon rather quick perhaps and didnt have time to call everyone... Face book to the rescue!
This is only my opinion and how i would feel about it though
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MonicaMouse
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Posted: 09 June 2008 at 12:13pm |
I would be a little upset at this, especially if you had a close relationship with these people at some stage.
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Kellz
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Posted: 09 June 2008 at 12:17pm |
Yep it would upset me, thats sad.
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Shorty
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Posted: 09 June 2008 at 12:19pm |
LOL Emma I was the same.
I would be a tad hurt by it.
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Paws
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Posted: 09 June 2008 at 12:20pm |
I do agree that calling everyone would be time consuming but wouldn't you at least call your family?????
And in the case of the wedding everyone did note that they still had time to send out party invites asking for specific presents after the FB annoucment. hmmm.
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ElfsMum
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Posted: 09 June 2008 at 12:26pm |
Paws----omg! that last comment about the invites....I would be mad and upset:( but yeah i think it's just being lazy and rude:( (for close family and friends at least)
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AliaDawn
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Posted: 09 June 2008 at 12:32pm |
I wouldn't buy them a present. If they can be cheap so can you!  Other than that I'd probably drop it - can't be fixed now.
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Roksana
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Posted: 09 June 2008 at 12:34pm |
send them a Face book present!! LOL
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Paws
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Posted: 09 June 2008 at 12:37pm |
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Kels
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Posted: 09 June 2008 at 1:11pm |
LOL Paws love it!
Yep I would be hurt too
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WestiesGirl
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Posted: 09 June 2008 at 1:21pm |
I agree, I think it rude and I would have been upset too.
I think its still important to tell those closest to you both family and friends personally either by phone or face to face (or by email if those are not achievable). Then maybe after telling them update on FB for others IYKWIM?
Tehehe Paws. Thats brilliant lol!!
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almostthere
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Posted: 09 June 2008 at 1:21pm |
Man im the only one that wouldnt be... makes me wonder!!!
As for the present: ok no THAT i would fiund rude
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Bobbie
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Posted: 09 June 2008 at 1:23pm |
I think it's rude if you know them quite well and this is how they decide to let you know. I'd be hurt too.
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Paws
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Posted: 09 June 2008 at 1:25pm |
almostthere wrote:
Man im the only one that wouldnt be... makes me wonder!!!
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I probably wouldn't be if it weren't for the fact that both people (esp M being literally one of my "best friends") are people who we were meant to be very close with.
It would be time consuming to phone everyone I agree but I guess I'm old fashioned, I just think that even in today's age it would still be far more polite and nicer to email or text your family and close friends...
Edited by Paws
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nikkitheknitter
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Posted: 09 June 2008 at 1:56pm |
Hrmmm... I don't know. A close friend maybe I'd be offended... but there is so much contact online these says with a trillion gazillion people that I am not sure how easy and quick it is to tell them all (compared to a facebook update).
I must admit to being a tad jealous when I found out one of my close friends got married secretly (I was fine with that part!) but then I found out that quite a few other people had known about it... I felt a bit left out.  She had no obligation to tell me so I got over it.
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nikkitheknitter
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Posted: 09 June 2008 at 1:56pm |
ETA - I am talking in general... in your case, I'd be peeved.
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mummy_becks
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Posted: 09 June 2008 at 1:59pm |
Yep that is rude. My friend just found out her own sister is now engaged and that was from the paper 
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pepsi
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Posted: 09 June 2008 at 2:01pm |
It's a bit stink to find out via Facebook if you're close friends. So yeah, kinda rude.
Agree with Emma and Amy about the Toni almost-pregnancy announcement!
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