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MummyFreckle View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MummyFreckle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 April 2008 at 9:16pm

I think that its un-ethical, and that if a register physcologist or physcotherapist truly has done this then you could well have a discussion with the registration people. I think that you would find this would go against there principals etc.

I feel for you and your DH. I have a close family member that I havent spoken to for 8 years as they too were manipulative, drama-queeney and add zero value to our lives.  Its pretty tough sometimes, but in the end I know it was the best decision for me and my family (DH and Oli).

Your priority needs to be Joy, you are a fantastic mummy and dont let anyone tell you otherwise. No one is going to take her away - and threats from your MIL are just plain nasty. I would call her bluff and ask for a family meeting with the physcologist.

 

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BellaBoo View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BellaBoo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 April 2008 at 9:34pm
Oh how horrible.

Even though she is family you really dont want someone so toxic in your lives.
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kebakat View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kebakat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 April 2008 at 9:11am
I think shes lying if she says she had a shrink on the other end of the phone. They wouldn't do that at all!
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Jay_R View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jay_R Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 April 2008 at 9:28am
No, they absolutely wouldn't. I'm not a registered psychologist, but I have got two papers left to complete my degree, and from what I know and have experienced it is completely outside all ethical realms for any practitioner.

She is completely fabricating it. And if you didn't hate her before this, then I bet you sure do now!

What a drama queeen. Sounds to me like she is feeling left out of your DH's life now you and Joy are his immediate family and is trying to sabotage things between you.
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sunnyhoney View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sunnyhoney Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 April 2008 at 10:35am
Yep, that's what we think too, that and the fact that she can't get her own way this time (because I am standing up for myself this time). This is just a big mess from something that was a small issue. She is being very childish about the whole thing. It doesn't matter what we say or do it gets twisted to suit herself. She conveniently "forgets" nasty things she has done and said but anything we say is taken as "attacking her".
I am sooooo over her and the whole thing.
Mum to:
Joy Emily 1.05am 27/09/07 7lb 3oz
Austin Paul 12.47pm 18/04/10 10lb 8oz
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kebakat View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kebakat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 April 2008 at 10:40am
If it was me I'd be avoiding contact with her. If she calls I wouldn't talk to her. I'd just let DH deal with his own mother until she learns how to behave. Then she can't twist anything you say to suit her. Then if she gets cranky about you ignoring her, then so be it.. your DH could say that this is how its going to be until she can play nice.
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Andie View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Andie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 April 2008 at 11:40am

Yeah I agree with Stacey there. 

OK so I've had dealings with a fair few Psychologists through work, and I hate to say it but as stupid a thing as that is to do (if that is in fact what her shrink did), I can think of one Psychologist who has acted very unethically and unprofessionally (royally screwing up the case too).  So it's possible, but not likely.  Reeeally not likely. 

Andie
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Andie View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Andie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 April 2008 at 11:47am

Ah, and about your worries that she may try to have Joy taken from you - I used to investigate CYF cases - all I can advise is that if she does contact them, they are obliged to investigate so a social worker will contact you.  This is good news - you'll know someone's called them, you're not kept in the dark about it.  They mightn't be able to say who it was who rang them, but I'm guessing you'd be able to figure that out anyway!  I can advise you not to avoid their calls or visits - they're only people after all, many with their own families, and they've got a job to do - the sooner it's done, the sooner you're left in peace.  Give as many details as you can, including contacts of other people who know you, knowing that they'll be kept confidential in your file.  The more you tell them, the more obvious it'll be to them what the notification was really all about.  Their job isn't to pluck children away from loving homes - and they do get malicious notifications so they know how to deal with them really well.  Here's hoping that it doesn't come to that, but still, should it happen, it's not the end of the world, and you'll be OK. 

Andie
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Jay_R View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jay_R Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 April 2008 at 11:54am
Why would she contact CYFS? On what grounds would she be able to have you investigated??

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scarecrowfarm View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote scarecrowfarm Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 April 2008 at 1:14pm
I'm pretty sure it's illegal to record conversations without your prior knowledge.
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sunnyhoney View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sunnyhoney Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 April 2008 at 1:48pm
She wouldn't have any grounds...but it is pretty easy to make something up, she is a good liar and a fantastic drama queen. Authorities would have to investigate if she went that far. It would just be to hurt me and rip my family apart. Just a concern of mine. How much lower can she get kinda thing.

I feel like pressing charges. But then who knows if it is the truth or not. Would be pretty embarrassing for her going that way.
But I also don't want to rock the boat anymore...ignoring her is probably the best for the time being.
Mum to:
Joy Emily 1.05am 27/09/07 7lb 3oz
Austin Paul 12.47pm 18/04/10 10lb 8oz
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scarecrowfarm View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote scarecrowfarm Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 April 2008 at 3:00pm
You know you're probably right. She's doing her best to push your buttons, and if you don't react she'll just have to admit defeat.

I remember one story when I was a kid about heaping coals of fire on your enemy's head. By coals of fire it meant repaying bad deeds with good ones. It can be extremely embarrassing for someone who is deliberately trying to be cruel to have kindness given back to them, and it can result in a complete change of attitude too.

Go for it, and show them who is the better perso!
Robyn
www.scarecrowfarm.co.nz
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sunnyhoney View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sunnyhoney Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 April 2008 at 9:08am
I don't know if it's a good sign or not...we haven't heard a word since Sunday when DH went around to talk to her...
Mum to:
Joy Emily 1.05am 27/09/07 7lb 3oz
Austin Paul 12.47pm 18/04/10 10lb 8oz
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sally belly View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sally belly Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 April 2008 at 10:59am
Take it as a good sign sunnyhoney . You've had 3 days of relative peace. I hope it continues for you & your family.
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